A Boy Made Me Do It

I woke up from a coma today.
Yeah, another life coma. Believe it.

Man I seriously need health insurance. Gotta get those things checked out.

I'm pretty sure it's like one life coma per year is healthy. I mean NOT healthy, but do able. (And no, that's not what she said, Will!! Jeez. She isn't nearly as slutty as people make her out to be. And she is pretty tired of being referenced all the time.Okay? So just drop it)

But honestly, I am 24 years old now. I swear it was yesterday that I was having the shittiest twenty first birthday ever.
And just a few weeks ago I was angst ridden and West Coast bound...

I never really listened to old people when they have told me about how fast life goes and you don't realize it, so enjoy it blah blah blah.

All I can think about with old people is how in nursing school I was told we weren't allowed to call them cute.....Under any circumstance!

Yet, still no memo on calling the short 24 year old cute. I still have to endure this shit. Just cuz I'm fun sized doesn't mean I...Holy crap I'm gonna be old one day! I just fucking figured that out! ( and I will be freaking cute then too, I'm sure of it.)
So maybe as long as I keep surrounding myself with older men. (NOT a problem for this girl) then I will never feel quite as old as them! Yay. Genius plan.

Back to birthdays. This year. Thank God for Florida. I mean we don't have to get all biblical here because it is just Florida I'm talking about. But someone may have been missing a toe or twelve if I didn't go to Cocoa Beach for 5 days before my birthday. (Thank you best friend.)

Quickly I will explain. (quickly, only because I am convinced anyone who is reading this has better things to do and is always waiting for me to get to the point. Where you can then exclaim immediate judgment upon me... "Hysterical!" or "Genius!" or "You're hot I want to date you!"... wait you couldn't possibly get all that from a blog post... unless. No never mind.)

I like birthdays. You wouldn't know about my annual birthday countdown because I have been effing lazy this year and felt no need to make you endure the 3 months of counting down until I was twenty..whatever the hell age I am.

But in my head and to the people around me, my birthday is the shit. This is when I go crazy. I make big plans and I intend to live on a grand scale for just a day. (I'm lying to you, I get a birthday week, or two. The one leading up to and the one following. Deal with it.) I invite anyone to come join in the festivities and this year.

My awesome idea was...

Atlantic City.

Seriously, I was excited. Many people tried to talk me out of my excitement. They would say.."it'll underwhelm you" "do you guys ALL really want to gamble?" "the strip club on 12th is the place you should..." Well whatever they said. There was many a person who apparently have clairvoyant abilities and tried to tell me.

I ignored them all. I had 7 other people drive up and stay in a horrendous pube filled hotel. (according to Sonny, they're nutritional, but don't take his word for it.Stay away kids)

7 of us have NEVER been there before. The one who has, was days away from getting married. So what he remembers is pretty much not valid. (Except that strip club he was telling us about.)

Let me fast forward and tell you how the night ended and my actual birth day began.
With me slamming the hotel door yelling " GO F*!% YOURSELF" and then I went back into my room and my best friend sang happy birthday and gave me my annual lemon cake.

The in between was all whining and complaining about losing 20 dollars in one WHOLE hour. And lots of drunken antics, and no real big winners to speak of...

So yeah icksnay on the ewNay erseyJay Forever. I never want to visit that state again.


Happppy Birthday to me.

So it's understandable that an impromptu trip to Florida for five days sitting with my best friend wooing multiple crowds of men by the beach was much more pleasant than a night in a dirty hotel where I tried to play matchmaker with my weekend plans and everyone else who came along.

The good thing about birthdays. They keep on comin'.



p.s. thanks Stephen for reminding me why I like to write, and why I should get back to posting regularly on here.
I have to share with you his texts this morning, that lead to the title of this post.
My thoughts in parentheses

"So I just read a few posts on your blog.

(I love this because now I know he stalks me, cuz I never mentioned my blog to him!
HA!)

You are a f-ing hysterical writer. I was seriously laughing.

(I have NO clue which posts he read, sorry I can't vouch for the whole me being funny)

Who knew you could write?

( Um? I did. Thanks.)

I mean you sure as hell can't drive a kart."

(He took me go karting on Sunday. I wish I could say he was lying. But I sucked ass.)

To which I responded
"You just made my freaking day. I haven't been able to write since I share my computer is in storage right now.
(and i live in the stone age and don't have a laptop.)
AND I wasn't exactly sure anyone actually liked my blog. Writing is how I want to make my fortune in life, I'm currently working on a series of children's books."

And then this little gem...

"I'm impressed. And frightened at the same time... re: the kids books. Kinda like when I discovered George Carlin narrated Thomas the Tank Engine Shows...as my son watches."

Did anyone just read that?! I like that comparison. Even if it is meant not in the way that I am like George Carlin in any way shape or form. Because I obviously know that. Much less my level of comedy being anywhere near able to reach that of the late great Mr. Carlin's. But to compare the shock and horror a hot Dad feels when realizing my mouth of a sailor is trying to write a series of successful children's books, well it's a great day.




...stay tuned.

A Weekend Away

While my weekend was spent in the same cozy little town I always reside in, I felt like I was away.( My brain took a vacation that's for sure) My best friend was in town though(oh thank goodness!) and I had to work every minute that wasn't being spent with her.

It turned out to be a weird weekend. Clearly why I am sitting here on this Tuesday still thinking about the events that took place in the last 72+ hours.

Friday she rolled into town and I met her at a restaurant where the host politely told me that my friends were waiting for me and pointed me in a direction. I asked him how he knew and he laughed and nodded again in that direction. So I started walking.

He was wrong.

Assumed I was with the other 20 something girls at a round table. When in actuality my friends were my best friend and her parents. I love that he laughed at me though, like an I'm that good so don't ask me how I know kind of laugh.
Idiot.

Side note:They did have fabulous Margaritas though. And that is really how I judge a restaurant. I am a Margarita snob. Love Sweet Water for their food but their margaritas are shit. Ted's Montana Grille, apparently has a much better recipe. I however, have the best recipe of all. If you are lucky one of these days I will share it with you.
It is to die for. And I can only thank Denise for bringing it into my life.
But shhhh.. I like to take credit for passing this recipe around!

Back to the story...

we went out to apparently my favorite place V5( I say apparently because I am there every damn day but I really think of it no better than any other local joint, my brother just happens to work there and I go there a lot. Okay?!)
She and I have a drink there and then head to meet some friends at the Sports Theatre. Which is exactly why it was a snoozer. You shouldn't go there if there aren't any big games to watch. I almost fell asleep in her tall ass glass of beer. We drove home and Friday night came to a sleepy close.I wasn't sure I was going to get to spend any more time with her.

She was going to a wine festival (how classy) and I was going to work (how boring) on Saturday. And though she was to make it home by 7 that night there was no reason to believe that she would make it anywhere else but home after that. (There are stories of other wine festivals to back up this notion)

So when she sat in my section at the restaurant later that evening it was a nice surprise. The entire evening had been anything but pleasurable before her arrival.

Blame it on homecoming. Stupid high schoolers. (only kidding I love all God's children... haha kidding again)(Seriously though, who forgets to put a tip down? Seven of you just ate for 95 dollars, where is the rest of daddy and mommy's money?! I didn't do this just to make sure your night was special...but I'm sure it was anyway, the way girls are dressing these days! When did I become old and conservative? Sheesh!)

Anyway, after work I met her at her place and watched SNL.

Okay so let's recap. Boring Friday. Boring Saturday. And now on to Sunday.

Oh and I work, now that's a surprise! (again, I know I have no room to complain I have taken on two jobs and should expect to work every day all day right?! Great.)

Luckily brunch was slow and I got off just in time to don my jersey and head up to the sports bar and watch my game. It ended, and sadly.The 3 and half quarters we had lead the game disappeared in the last minutes.
I was less than thrilled.

To make matters worse the hometown team had taken the lead and we all know that every win brings them closer to the likely hood of a Super Bowl ring right? Yeah, well try telling the fans that isn't exactly the case.


So I had to hustle out of that place before I blew a head gasket (see: previous post about being a good sport.. hint: I'm not.)
I went home and watched more football and fell asleep.

My best friend left town.

End of weekend.


Except I never have specific weekends so I am going to include yesterdays shenanigans in my weekend recap.

Work at the restaurant as usual, mess up, get lousy tips and head out before anyone notices. Meet the girls at Vintage 50 and start the birthday celebrations!

Met the rest of the crew at another place and really started the birthday celebration for a few people.

Then I watched the birthday girl slip into the worlds quickest drunk-fest mode.

And I was keeping an eye on a certain goal of mine. (Yes, I refer to men as goals)
He definitely kept me guessing because he starts hooking up with a co-worker. What?@! He's taken? Oh well, guess he is off the "I must conquer" list.
Or is he?
Did he just grab my scarf and pull me in close?
Did I catch him eyeing me through out the night?

Yes and yes. So is he off the list or what? I can't decide.

But now I am getting texts about Birthday girls lunacy that didn't end with her calling everyone bitches and flicking everyone off. She quit today.

After the penis pops(or cocksicles, whichever you prefer), the tiara, the birthday sash, the drinks, the shots and the karaoke we sang to her she ended up getting belligerent and using those hands for evil and not good. Bad birthday girl, bad. So back to Pennsyltucky she goes.

See, and this why I don't define the weekend by certain days. Craziness can happen at any moment. And there, in a simple Monday was hiding the excitement I had been looking for all weekend.

Tri training Baby! 3.10.2008

So I am in week 3 of my tri training and I had planned on blogging a little more frequently to document my progress. However week 3 is the first chance I seem to have had to sit down and write. So here it is.
I cant believe how far I have already come in just 3 weeks. I still have 10 weeks to go. I am fueled by the conviction that I am going to have a rocking body by then and that will feed the addiction to fitness and/or mroe triathlons. I am already seeing results... it's crazy.
Though I would like to think that my body didn't have far to go to get into TRI shape. Clearly by the slimming and trimming already in progress I think that the physical aspect is the easiest to measure. But I feel strides ahead of where I was in February. The first time I got into the pool I was convinced that I would need floaties one race day because drowning was iminent. Today I am already able to swim the TRI distance of a half a mile. I am not swimming it very fast but I am working on my form for now. I have got plenty more weeks to hone in on speed.
The cycling aspect was what originally attracted me to the triathlon. I am a bit mroe confident in this portion of the race than anything else. I feel like I could do a Century ride later this summer... which, given some of my family members accomplishments in this field I will have quite a crew to join me should I choose to take on this feat after the triathlon. But back to the task at hand.
The running is going to be BY FAR the most difficult for me to endure. I have hated running for as long as I can remember. I am fueled by competition and back in the days of competitve softball playing I would only run to beat my teammates. I hated every second of it and still even then never ran more than 3 miles. Well that was a while ago. It seemed a mile was just enough to set a flame every msucle in my body. I am quite proud that in just these two weeks I can run two miles! Now I have a milestone that I will need to accomplish before the triathlon. And that is what my last blog was about. The Nicole Megaloudis 5k I am going to run it this year. It is only 3.2 miles but a good point in my training to make sure that I am on track. I plan on running that sucker and freaking kicking ass. That is the one downfall of my training. I am trying desperately to stick to my regimen and not push myself too hard. But I am pretty damn good at getting into my own head and convincing myself that "if you aint first, you're last" -Ricky Bobby's Dad
Obviously that quote stuck with Ricky Bobby and his belief in it led to his downfall. I am trying to keep in mind what Joe Friel { a much more respected athlete with a few more credentials as well} said and that is to set the goal of your first tiriathlon " cross the finish line with a smile on your face" and thats it. Course it would be a lot easier to smile if I was first!! I keep debating taking an IPod to the gym. To distract me and take me out of my head and just let me go. But I feel it is actually one of my strengths. I do not rely on beats or catchy songs to pump me up. I can do it all on my own. Besides you aren't allowed them on race day so why use them now?

Well, I recently celebrated my 23rd birthday. Or as I like to call myself... my Michael Jordan.. I allowed myself a few days of downtime to celebrate with all of the wonderful people in my life! I feel very blessed when this time of year comes around. I got more birthday eve wishes and happy birthday wishes than I can count. I had a fantastic group of friends and family join me for a trip to Dave and Buster's. It doesn't happen very often that I can get most of my siblings together, much less both of my parents in the same room. I was ecstatic and can't thank each and every one of them enough. The gift theme for this year? My triathlon, of course! I got new sports bras, new shorts, dri fit shirts , socks and much more. I am super excited about my moms gift which is a kitchen aid mixer. Who knows what kind of baking I can do with that sucker. I wont be baking for a while though, I have 3 cakes and a cheesecake to give away to those who can eat it. Tri training dictates, cake = bad. And although I allowed myself the few days off. I am back now and no more partying for me. My younger brother turns 21, a few days after St. Patrick's Day. And I had to pick this time to be in training? Dangit bobby. But no more alcohol for me. And especially no more cake.
One important part of my tri training?... sleep. I have not yet gotten a great pattern down of working out in the morning, going to work, then working out some more at night and getting to sleep at a decent hour.
And as the weeks pass, the blogs will come. For now, the sleep is king.
Thank you again to everyone who has already helped to make my 23rd year, my best year yet!