Set Fire to the Rain

When did I move to Seattle?
This rain just isn't going to do. I actually really like rain if the temperature is above like 12. Which it currently feels like.

But none the less I am trying to recharge this evening and go out and have a life because after a nearly 60 hour work week,school work due every day this week and an 18 hour day yesterday and the kids out on Spring Break all week I would not be blamed for hiding in a cave and asking someone to put lotion on their skin "or it gets the hose!"

Just sayin.

But seriously this could quite possibly be the coolest phase of my life. The absolute most challenging phase but I see the rewards in ten fold.
I have spoken of my desire to keep away from men for the time being. And I am whole heartedly sticking to that. I know I will have my struggles because when that guy comes after me that is damn sexy and got his shit together. I will want to do what I normally do and become a cheerleader for the people around me and play second fiddle.

UM NO. Not today, not ever again!

At least that is the hook I am hanging my coat on right now.

Besides that the challenge for me is to enjoy the hard work I am putting in. I am trying to surround myself with motivational quotes and positive thoughts to steer my ship in the right direction each day. I have seriously loaded up my plate right now and it would be easy for me to say. Fuck it, I'm gonna go back to working one job and having a life and just try to manage. Or I'm going to work hard in these two jobs but become bitter and resentful and complain a lot.

Also, NOT gonna happen.
I literally recited "you signed up for this, you signed up for this" over and over again today in the car.
I was exhausted last night. 18 hours with one hour break and no dinner. But it's all manageable. I spoke with one of the managers at JobTwo and kinda broke it down for him. Told him how driven I was and that this was kinda a first for me. He dared me to take more on and work for them full time after my classes end. I told him to suck it.

No, I didn't do that. But I did tell him I was getting better at saying 'no' and this was one of those times. If in a couple of months they like where I've been and want to show me a rea$on why they feel I should commit more time and effort to them then so be it. But for now, they play second fiddle. They will get no less of my love, just as much hard work and all of my smiles and mustered positive energy as I possibly can when I show up there.

For now, my priorities lie where I took the first steps a year ago. At my teaching job, which is the reason I am in school again these days. Most people never thought they would see the day. My dad is soooo excited to have me taking classes again. I'm not even sure I've explained to him fully what it's for but from a set of parents who did not finish college, they are thrilled to see the second of three get some sort of degree. Even if I can only use it to advance my career in a Child Care setting.

Speaking of devils risen from hell to curse me and rip my heart out and eat it.
Oh.. we weren't on that subject?

Well.... now we are.
My kids are on Spring Break right now. Holy dear God I have never wanted to PUNT so many children before. I don't want to hurt them, and the likelihood of me hurting anyone by punting them in my 5 foot frame is very much the opposite. But I couldn't get away from them fast enough today. I cannot wait for them to go back to school next week.

If there is any examples of why kids need structure and actually thrive on it, this week, would be the perfect example. They just go nuts when they aren't receiving the desired attention and boundaries set. I promise you, children respond well to parents and teachers asking them to stick to certain rules. But when Spring Break arrives and they have no school, and parents wondering WTF to do with their children all week they send them to me.Barely fed,barely rested and by no means clean.
Hahahaha I wish I was kidding.

Today I found a rock in my pocket, and a nail. One was put there by a child and one was taken away from a child. You guess which is which.
I love my job and even though this week I was closer to a meltdown than Japan's Nuclear reactors I don't think I see any light in walking away from this place. Scary because I'm certainly not setting myself up to be a rich girl walkin'. But never the less I can't argue with the satisfaction of a gorgeously designed and put together "Helper Board" in my classroom. It's those kinds of little things I cannot seem to find the pleasure in in any other setting.

So when I get through with classes at the end of the summer I will be able to move up in this little world of mine and I hope to do so very soon. Goals, it's all about setting goals.
Now if I could only find that notebook I wrote all my goals down in, I could get started. Haha kidding. I write them down in Dry Erase marker on my full length mirror, and set reminders on my phone, with alarms, and find really important paperwork to scrawl them on the back of. (ever hear of organized chaos?, yeah, this isn't it.)

So as I wish I could set fire to this rain so it would freaking warm up in this joint I will just listen to my new obsession, Adele instead.
loves it.

Have a great and wonderful Easter to all of you. I will be working. (Shocker!)
...stay tuned.

Rules of the Road.

On my way to North Carolina today... oh yeah I forgot to mention that this weekend will be filled with my bestie best friend ever. I drove to see her. I coudln't stand it anymore.
The drive was less than 5 hours, so not too bad. Unless you count the countless idiots on the road. Which is a stupid statement because they cant be counted if they are countless but to try would be enough to frustrate you the way I was.

So to all the people on the road today:

Guy who drove the same pace as me for 30 miles creepily smiling at me:
You are asinine, what could possibly come from driving next to me for that long. Would I be wooed by your eerie looks and suddenly decide to follow you down whatever exit you took and we would stop at a rest stop and live happily ever after? Yeah likely story. Just like the one you told the cops about you not killing that local girl. Mmmhmm.

Kid who I used to go to high school with:
Freaking look at me when I am waving at you. I know you saw me. Who doesn't look out their windows when they are driving? You are like the complete opposite of creepy other guy who wouldn't stop staring at me. Just one look over to your left so I can feel less insane. Thanks.

Woman at whom I yelled:
I apologize for yelling. I also apologize for assuming you are a woman. But you were driving like a freaking woman. All slow and turning without a blinker. Ya killing me lady.

Winshield wipers:
thanks for not working.again. in the rain. 'nuff said.

All the people who chatted with me on the cellular:
Thanks for letting me fool you into believing that I cared what you were saying when in reality the kinda time you can kill on the road while in a conversation is priceless. Thanks for being a trooper. I fully expect you to be there again on the way back on Monday.


State Policeman:
Hey thanks. Thanks a lot. For getting up behind everyone in the left lane and making them freak out and think you were coming after them so they drove wildly out of your way. Thereby creating more of a driving hazard than their original speed violation. Thanks again. But know this. You didn't fool me. You weren't coming after me and I knew it. So suck on that copper cuz I wasn't going to slow down for you! Ha!

All other drivers:
Hear me now. I want you out of my way when I am on the same road as you. Simple as that.

K tttthhhaaannkkksss!


Now I am off to recreate Fabulous Fridays North Cackalacky style!!!

...stay tuned!