Joining a covant.. or whatever it's called

I just decided.
Today. Actually like 23 seconds ago.. that I am giving up my earthly possessions and going to find a local "nun place" (hahaha I have NO idea what they are called, and I'm clearly too lazy to look it up)
and ask them to take me in.

Immediately and forever. I can. not. stand. men.
Whatever it is that I have, that makes them turn insane and drive me insane. I want it to stop.

On second thought, I may just need an exorcism.
"I have exerciiiiiiised the demons, this house is clear" (I <3 AceVentura!)
There is definitely some evil goin on.

I toiled with the idea of simply going lesbian... but I'm pretty sure I would bash my own head in trying to deal with another woman. Besides part of my issue with the men I date anyway is that I strongly desire them to take charge and be all manly and stuff. (Seems easy enough right?)
But a butch woman I doubt will come anywhere near as manly as I need my men.

So does anyone know anyone who knows anyone who does exorcisms?
Or maybe is a nun?
Or could give me a drug that could sedate the next man until it's years into the relationship he feels trapped but is too scared to walk away because when he came to there was a gorg (yes, me) woman who was bossing him around and he was happily swiffering the floor, so he figures he will just stick around, for like, ever.

Or maybe, is a lesbian and can really vouch for being in relationship with a woman.

No, that last one probably won't work.
I'm definitely going to hope for one of the top 3.

Which means, my fate is in your hands. My life could take drastic turns from here people... be careful with it!

...stay tuned

Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle.... (wait for it)

Holy shit she cannot really be that dumb.

That is actually what I nicknamed three people that I work with. Tweedle dee is the dumb cute one. He just isn't who he thinks he is. Or very good at anything. And it's comical.

Tweedle Dumb is the little beyotch who works occasionally 'cuz daddy has enough money to buy everyone inside the walls of JobOne. She shows up and has a smile on her face until someone questions to her as to why she hasn't quite done everything she should be doing. Then the attitude of twelve teenage girls boils up inside her and comes spewing out. It's disgusting. She has never heard of help, nor does she want it.And so, I will let her fall flat on her face without even the slightest urge to lend a hand.

THEN there is tweedle, holy crap she can't really be that dumb.
But she is. It is absolutely startling to come face to face with someone to whom "ignorance is bliss" so aptly applies. Rather, it is the very essence in which she lives her life. But she is too oblivious to know that is how she is living her life.
SUPER cute girl too. What a waste. She is very pretty and would be stepping over all of the guys to get to the top had she any (and I mean ANY) idea how to do a job.
Just, A job. But the simple task of waiting tables is lost on her. After a night with a two table section in which she forgot to greet one of her TWO tables for at least 15 minutes I asked her how her night went. She proclaimed "not bad! I had this one lady who came up and hugged me!"
Yeah, that is exactly what I wanted to know about your night. Not possibly how many guests will never come back through those doors based solely on your performance tonight.

Oh work, how you entertain me. Speaking of work. It is time. For JobTwo or a job switcheroo. I am looking to get out of the area that I am currently living in and I know that wherever I land anywhere I can wait tables. I've now seen it, I'm a master server. Great. That does not intrigue me in any sort of way. I know that I can fall back on these skills but by no means do I intend to keep fine tuning my serving skills.
No.
I must set forth on the journey to become master party planner.
So here, today along with running 5 miles. (shit, I forgot about that until just now!) I will be retouching my resume and getting on the ball.
Going to find me a job in the event planning biz. Yup Yup. (said like Ducky or Petri from Land Before Time)

Wohoo for being productive, or at least writing it down and such.
...stay tuned.



Oh also, a random rant...Feel free to not read this if you don't want to hear me bitch about something so trivial as a word. Oh wait. I love words. And so should you!
So read this and make sure you don't do these bad things! Please. (I always say I hate people, but I really just hate stupid people!)

Did you know that irregardless is actually a word now? (thank God spell check does NOT recognize it though) Or apparently has been for some time. I am furious with this. Our society is to effing lazy to tell people that it is STILL not a word and instead of correcting people we've taken the "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em" mentality. Seriously Webster or Merriam? You couldn't stand hearing people say a word that isn't a word so you just go ahead and make up a word that means the exact same thing as the word they don't know how to use. Well here's one for ya. Should we start making the phrase "I couldn't care less" into "I could care less" because people are just as ignorant when it comes to paying attention to what they are saying with that phrase too...