"Auntie Em! Auntie Em!"

So I wish I could show you just how I've got my computer set up for the sole sake of being connected again. I don't have a desk and things are just plugged in and shoved in the corner of my new room.
Yes, new room. Cuz lucky me I finally found a place to live. I was couch surfing for a while. I now have 3 and a half roommates and I am so excited to be in a place where I can hang things on the walls and be up until all hours of the night just doing whatever I want to be doing.

So the tornado is starting to slow down and the rainbow is shining.
Here is a list of shit that's happened recently that I cannot fathom trying to put into separate posts even though they've rocked my world enough to get multiple posts each.

My second job.. closed down. The doors were literally locked on Friday and I am out of my happy home there. I'm so sad. This place was amazing to me. I swore I would never be a waitress and when I finally caved and got this job I worked my way up and kicked ass and became friends with some truly good people. But everything happens for a reason right?? Seems like a pretty fucked up reason but I guess time will only tell. (Why do cliches always find their way in, in crappy situations?)

Broke up with BabyDaddy.. that's the nickname I will give him. Though he would not be my baby daddy.. my lack of babies would prove that. He and I will continue to navigate this weird space of admitting that both of us openly said and wanted to marry each other but somehow 5 months in we found it just wasn't gonna work. Now. I don't even think I will be revisited by these men with whom things don't work. But for some reason many people think that is how things will go down. Again, probably just euphamisms people are so used to saying despite reasoning. My mom is sad about this one. I know I know I know she really liked him. I feel bad for that. Littlest dude and my step dad liked him too. It was the baseball connection and the being older and having a child made him seem mature and ready for someone like me. So far from the truth. I don't think ANYONE is ready for this!

Moved into the new place, got bitched at for the way I left the last place. Which just crushed my soul but I am trying to make things right and just move on. I really just want to be settled and happy in a place for a while. No huge move and earth shaking things for a while. Seems crazy to ask for... but I am learning that since I never.. ever.. ever ask for anything from anyone that I never got anything either. Nothing was just going to be given to me. So as verbal as I usually am I am JUST NOW learning to use it to my advantage.

..stay tuned.. maybe I can manage to sit down and start clearly writing posts in the near future.. for now please be okay with mild ranting as I seriously hope to chill things out and live for a just a little while "under the radar"

..stay tuned.

Cops go hardcore at the end of the month, Me, I tend to ease up a bit.

I don't know if this counts as a real post. I am just consumed by random effing thoughts right now that I must share them. I apologize in advance. Especially because I am not one of those self loathing bloggers who apologizes for shit they write and then looks for pity.

Wait Stop Don't.You are actually gonna love this.
So let me try that again.

I'm full of freaking genius today and I cannot contain it in one thought process. So here I will give you all of them. Some people call that babbling, but as the joke goes...(my name is brooke. think about it.)

Musings of a Twenty Something:

**18 year old boys smell freaking delicious.

Well I don't really think eating the smell of Abercrombie is what I want. I want tons of half naked Abercrombie models running around, but I digress.
One young man got up from a table tonight right as I was walking by and I got a whiff. Mmmmm. Guys my age and older don't wear that crap anymore.The last time I probably smelled it was the last time I dated an 18 year old. Sooo like, in highschool. It does smell good...but it is laced with the smell of youth as well.
(and we all know how much I love younger guys. not.)

When the hell did I become the 24 year old who kind of feels dirty for thinking this way anyway?Dangsies!

** Tonight I rested my boobs on the bar, on command.

I am getting promoted.(those two statements don't seem to go together, but they do I promise.) Again. (within 7 months of working there, soon I will pretty much take over the world, yeah I'm effing that awesome)

Anyhowzer, They want me (or my C cups rather) to bartend!
Had I been asked 6 months ago, I would have refused. I am not cut out to be the schmoozy floozy. Which is pretty much necessary to be a bartender.
I think I can manage to avoid being sleazy behind the bar at JobOne (formerly JobTwo)

Plus it only opens up a world of opportunity, financially it is so much smarter to be a bartender. The tips far outweigh that of a server. So my grand plan is to train for the next few weeks. Revamp my server schedule to beef up the Captain shifts and then get a few bar shifts and the rest of the time start working at the new JobTwo.
(more on that later)

**I can tie a knot in a cherry stem. (and I'm not just trying to be like the Flobots)

People think it is impossible. I was one of those people until tonight. I was especially determined tonight. My younger sister has always been able to do it.
And now I can add that on my list of qualities that mean absolutely nothing about me but am sure to tell someone within five minutes of sitting at a bar next to them.


**I thought I was an animal lover until I met my new roommate.

She has.. drum roll please...

2 cats.(Gross, they better not pee anywhere "in or around the coat area")

1 rabbit.. that's fine. I think.(My one rabbit that I owned was actually a bunny, the difference is their size. Mine dies of the sniffles. An actual ailment known to cause death in bunnies. Look it up.)

1 Snake. Gasp! I actually like snakes but most people freak out about that one.

and 3 (count them, three) Sugar Gliders.
WTF is a sugar glider? The closest comparison I can offer you is a flying squirrel. Which is completely inaccurate. However it's a good visual to have. Though squirrels are not nocturnal and sugar gliders are. (making them all the more weird as a pet because she keeps them in her closet.)

Yeah, I am moving in with Ace freaking Ventura.


...stay tuned.

Oops I Did It Again.

It's moving dayyyyyyy.

Yup, my life is the ever shifting thought process.It never has time to be more than that. It's like I have severe ADD or something, because for the last 7 years I have moved at least once a year. ( wait for that to settle in, seven effing moves at the very least)

Imagine, taking all of your shit. Putting it in boxes, trash bags and even random suitcases and then un loading it. And now do that over and over again.

Oh and all over again.

That's what it is like to be me. Fuck. I haven't even been anywhere really cool.
I lived in L.A. but that is where the moving once a year started. And I have ended up in VA. Again. And again. This is a new low. The last three moves have been within 10 miles of each other. (Holy shit I am never getting out of this place.)

Talks of San Diego still linger. But honestly I am scared to do the whole West Coast on a whim move again. I'd rather go to Costa Rica for a few months. It is seemingly just a place for me to rest my head. I've not cultivated anything more from each place I live. (except an emptier wallet and some good my roommates suck stories.)

If I am just staying at one place to get to another you think I would come up with some cooler ideas than effing Northern Virginia. I grew up here for shit's sake.

So this week brings me to probably the least raucus of moves. The least jolting. But the most irritating.
I've spoken of my basement dwelling. And my lucky ass living with a kick ass family for free.

So why the hell am I moving into a tiny ass townhouse where I feel like nothing will be mine? I guess turning 24 means you have to grow up or something. Not live in other peoples basements. Even if it is for free.

Which is the stupidest way of growing up I can think of. Because the more I grow up the more money I need and.. uhh.. hello.. free means I keep the money I would be giving to some landlord. Duh.

Oh and from what I hear. Growing up ain't all it's cracked up to be. Fancy pants is trying to find a way to successfully regress from 33 backwards. (I told him he is not allowed to go younger than 29 though. I will be 28 by the time he Bejamin Buttons it all the way back to 29. And lord knows I can't date younger guys! Ha!)


Oh the mere thought of packing my clothes alone has me on the verge of tears.
(I do own way too many clothes and local charities reap the benefits of my less than yearly moves)

Oh and to top it off my brother so sweetly loaded some of his own shit into my storage unit and just like any good big brother, ran off with my key to the unit. Took my dyson vacuum and put his heavy ass stuff right in the way of all my stuff.
(FML.)

Oh no worries, I'm sure I can pull it off...little miss social butterfly who has so many friends can never count on anyone else to help her with this kinda stuff.
(
To be fair, once a year is less a favor and more of a type of employment. That I do not pay them for.)

The one upside... and it's crazy that this is so exciting to me but I get to put my Kitchen Aid mixer on the counter and freaking bake the hell out of anything I can throw into that sucker. I am more excited for that then not being kicked off the couch by 13 year old boys when I am watching the NCAA tournament to find out the final match up of the Final Four. I am a little excited to feel a space that is my own.

Although I am also pretty excited to know that I can invite someone back to my place now. (Mom, I meant friends! Only friends.)

Oh sweet baby jesus. Tiny 6 month old jesus.
Someone come find me under my laundry pile and help me move!


...stay tuned.