I quit.

"so wanna hear about my newest love interest?" I ask my younger brother (who doubles as my best friend, when he isn't farting or snoring of course,then he is my greatest enemy)

"what is he like 85?" (valid question I suppose)

"Nope, but close" I answer

"Okay what like 40?" He asks again.

Without a word he looks at my face, sees the grin and flips his lid.
"what?!? are you serious?! I'm not talking to you anymore" And instantly he is gone.

My brother tells me all about his crazy life, why can't I tell him about mine? True the entire family was less than thrilled with my last boyfriend. Who just so happened to be 32. When I was 22.
So what?
I cannot help who I am attracted to! Right?!

Well after that didn't work. (my father affectionately referred to him as a pedophile within seconds of meeting him)Wonder why?


Before him there were other 30 somethings.. even before I was in my twenties.
(I am sensing a pattern here!)

Then came... a 30 something with 3 kids. Oh wait no. There was a 34 year old with 2 kids in Germany or wherever he was stationed.Then there was 3 kid guy. Who was super effing cute. And even let me drag him on the dance floor where his old guy moves did nothing for him except win points in my head for letting me drag him there in the first place. Found out he was closer to 40's and I am really not trying to be a step mom.


But somehow I am caught up with the 40 year old who may or may not have 6 kids. WHAT?!?
Did I cross the line of acceptable?
Who knows. ( seriously do you know, does anyone know? Is there a pill I can take?)
But I continue on my quest to figure out why I am not attracting twenty somethings. There is one that I work with...but damnit if he doesn't already date another girl I work with. Bitch. (I meeaaannnn)

Then there is the twenty something with his feet solidly on the ground (and stepping in piles of money)and just dorky enough to make you love him and just smart enough to make you hate him. Shocker we seem to have exact opposite schedules.


What is it with my life? Love is blind, uh huh. My heart knows no bounds, I get it. Blah Blah Blah.

I am tired of questioning myself. Will somebody just sweep me off my feet already?
And please for God's sake lie to me and tell me you are 29, for a while at least. Then you can drop the bombshell about the immense baggage you have.

I'm tired. I quit.


...stay tuned.

Fabulous Fridays... my new tradition

Here it is Friday morning (ish, 11am counts as the morning right?) and I can barely control my excitement. I have a fabulous party to attend tonight and I feel like it may be the first real "adult"party I have been to. Certainly not the last.


You know the kind where you dress up and think about your outfit for days and you think you should tell US weekly and People to all send their best paparazzi because you are going to be looking fan-fucking-tastic. The kind where you will walk through the door, on the guest list and leave your inhibitions behind you.


Well, let me rethink that. It is the Grand Opening of a bar in Baltimore my cousin partly owns I think. It is called Luckies Tavern and it has this mobster vegas-y kind of theme. How can this not be super fantastico?This is what twenty something girls dream of. This is what Sex and the City was made of. Holy Awesome Friday night Batman!



So let me go over my list and make sure I have everything I could possibly need for this night to be in the list of Fabulous Fridays.
*Have my digital camera. Uncheck. Dangsies where could it possibly be?!?


*On the guest list. Check


*Have a fabulous outfit to wear. Check..ish. Need shoes still. (Helloooo DSW!)


*Got a chunk of change in my pockets. Check(I doubt there will be an ounce of inexpensitivity, yup new word.)


*Have tons of friends who are also going. Check


*A fabulous cover band or two playing the whole night. Check (Mr. Greengenes is playing, enough said.)


*Have brothers in attendance so they can intimidate any guy who gets out of line that I can't scare away all on my own. Check


*Have a safe place to crash. Check... well we will see where the night takes me. It is nice weather tonight so the streets of Baltimore could be comfy! (Hey I've got a thing for Edgar Allen Poe maybe I want to see what life was like for him. )


Only Kidding.


Now see fabulous Fridays started on accident. And I just now came up with a name for them. Yes, just this moment they became fabulous and not "fierce" or "Effing amazing" or any other alliteration I could come up with.
The last two weekends, haven't really been weekends. Working two jobs I never seem to know what day it is. But it always seems to work out that Fridays I have open. And it just so happens that I decided I would wait for no one to have a good time on these Fridays because they seem to be my only day. So off I went to wherever I wanted to and I woke up Saturday mornings with a stupid grin on my face because I had a blast the night before and it was all on my own. I danced my little heart out and made tons of friends (or enemies if you consider a bet made with former Redskin Brian Mitchell: 100 bucks that the Ravens would get 8 wins this season, Former Redskin slash enemy but he was smiling) Either way, this Friday should continue the new tradition and I am super excited.


Oh and my mom ( who lives in Baltimore and gets to reap the benefits of a fabulous Friday taking place near the city.) is taking my 3 brothers and I out to Outback. If it ended there it would be a fabulous Friday!


Off to get new shoes... I will channel my inner Carrie and find the most elaborate piece of footwear to go with my new purple dress! (I am not very girly, except when it comes to shoes and I almost let out a squeal when I read that!)

..stay tuned.