Limbo. And not the good kind.

Not that there really is a good kind of limbo. Being a shorty limbo was always looked at like it had to be my thing. Right?I'm supposed to be good at this because my entire body's length doesn't quite pass your hips? No. Not the case. Spare me the oompa loompa reference and let's play a real game.

Anyway. I am in a crazy bit of limbo. Life Limbo. I pretty much get here every 8-12 months. It's fun you should try it. Here's how I do it. I live like a single 23 year old with no savings and incidentally I end up like a single 23 year old with no savings! Weird how that happens right?


I am so ready to do what I know I am supposed to be doing.There are glass ceilings and as much as I love Willy Wonka (the original) I do not have any sort of magic sideways moving, glass shattering elevator that can take me wherever I want to go. ( God would I love to live in that land.But NOT as an Oompa, I already told you that! I want to be Veruca Salt. Or maybe Charlie without the creepy family and the bypassed sexual deviance of one Gene Wilder.)

I figured out my calling a couple months back. Well about a year ago. I got a bit of planning done when the economy looked me straight in the face and said "beat this" . And I've been left helpless ever since.

Aw shit. I told you it aint playing fair. Like we are playing war (the card game, not for real war cuz I just made a peace sign cake that says "Make cake not war"!) and it comes time to flip over that third card( you know the part where your war cards tie and you face down three cards and the third one is the new war card)... The first two were Aces. So in my head I think " sweet if I just beat this third one then I will get two Aces, I'm unstoppable then".
Nope that slimy economy straight up pulled out a third Ace and beat my 7. Sure a lot of other cards beat my seven. But another Ace? No way. Gotta be cheating.

When I was a kid I would just flip all of my cards in the air and shout "cheater!" and I would have been done. Not now. I realize the stakes are more than just bragging rights with my siblings. This is life and I want all 52 damn cards! So I don't care how long this GD game takes..

My plan has now been to better my third card. Behind the scenes. Play the game of war a bunch more and get the decked stacked in my direction. To where I can bust out some face cards and kick the economy's ass. I just gotta wait until the stacks are a little more even. You know when I have maybe, oh I don't know, the ability to afford HEALTH INSURANCE. ( I haven't even mentioned the fifth and sixth wisdom teeth growing in my mouth. Yup you heard me. Got 4 removed two years ago. Now I got two more. NOT fair I tell you.)

So in the mean time I have taken up writing.(I've always been a writer, but just recently discovered the idea of actually doing something with the 10,000 poems, or lyrics or short stories that I write.)

Not only here on this blog (which is sure to gain me immediate infamy and tons of fortune to follow right?)but I am also writing children's books. While working two jobs I can't say that I am really writing them so much as scribbling down my ingenious text hoping that when I am finished I can look up and say "A book!"

and then a publisher will look at me and say "I want it!"
And then I will say "Okay that'll be a million dollars"
And then they will say "Done, now write some more!"

and then it will be a happy little circle that goes like that until I keel over.

and then I wont have to find myself attracted to 30 something men who are already well off and could take care of me. Sugar Daddies? Not for me. Unless that circle doesn't happen and then I might just have to actually date one of the men I keep consuming all my time with.


In the mean time it is Friday and I am sure it won't be another version of Fabulous Fridays (because those have tapered off and I die a little on the inside each week now that I have a new digital camera to capture all of it's glory.) But a Friday none the less. So off I go to try to figure out what conclusion job two came to about whether they are willing to give the employees free drinks or not. Because that will hugely affect whether I go to job two to drink or brother's job one. Because that is where I met cute 39 year old. (who incidentally now knows he is on my blog. Crap! ) But mostly because that is where BFF brother works and can get the hook up. I'm working both jobs tomorrow and am sure to disappear again until Tuesday or something. I apologize to my four followers. (I freaking love all of you!)

...stay tuned!

**Update** As much as I would like to believe I am a super cute fearless person (wait, I do whole heartedly believe the first part!). Bits of this post have been edited or removed. I apologize for the extreme vagueness throughout the post and the crazy card game analogy( I let you inside my head for God's sake, it can't all be pretty and sensical and shit.) but I have yet to find a creative way to post about real life events without getting my ass in trouble.It's not like Dooce. has taught me nothing!

Eco- friendly

I have been very aware, and eco-friendly for a while. Going green and organic and all that jazz but this time by eco I mean economy.

Welcome to the end of the world. I mean the end of 2008. (Seems like the same thing right?)

We are all paying a bit more attention to our spending habits and our lifestyles these days. So when I stumbled upon Bossy's Poverty Party I thought it to be a great time to start actually doing something. If I can't better the world just yet maybe I can better my own forecast in life. (for now ya know, 'til I sew up the cape and start saving the rest of the world.)

I am very fortunate to be where I am right now because had I been living anywhere else while this economic crunch is going on I may have had to go live with... gasp!

My parents. No just kidding. I would live on the streets before I would go back to their houses.(Totally love them, but from far away. Far far away.)

So yesterday I go to the grocery store, with the intention of buying milk and deodorant. That is all I needed. Let me stress that I had chicken out waiting to be cooked and probably enough other food options to last me a week at the very least. Hearty, healthful food options, not like ramen noodles and some left over saltines. ( I mean I am out of college, I should probably never have to live like that again right?)

And yet. I walked out of there 85 bucks poorer.
I told myself that I was going to clip some coupons and get only what I needed from now on.(two weeks ago, after a shopping trip)

Well my needs are clearly defined by anything that looks yummy at any given moment during the aisle sweeps. I have a tendency to start at one end of the store and go through each and every aisle because, well... I don't know what I want.

I know what I needed.
Milk and deodorant.
But did I really expect to walk out of there with just those two things? Has anyone EVER done that? Walked in for a handful and walked out without a cart full?

Not possible in my world. Now I love making decisions for other people. Quick. Easy. And seemingly rationaled.(not a word, I know, but go with it) For myself it is much harder. There is no logic behind some of my choices and therefore the grocery store hits a weakness.
I have no specific reasons why the boca burger looks especially good this week when for the last 2 months I have not purchased one. In fact, I don't think (besides milk) that anyone could look in my pantry or fridge and predict what I was going to buy the next time I was in a grocery store.

So for my Poverty Party contribution to my own well-being I am going to seriously.

Make a list.

Check it twice.

And find out whose been naughty or... Wait that's Santa.

First I am going to make a list and stick to it. Limit myself to what is written on a slip of paper that I no doubt will have lost between getting in the car and out of it. If I forget something then I will have to put it on my list for next time.

Totally possible. (laughing hysterically in my head)

And another favor I am going to try to do for myself is keep my change. I switched to a teensy tiny little coach purse (given to me for Christmas 2 years ago, never would have bought it myself, don't worry!) And there is no room for my super cute change purse thingy. So I have been neglecting my change and its' whereabouts.

Turns out.

I can clean my car for the amount of change I have in my car! It was a lovely experience yesterday. And even though some people (JEN!) think that because yesterday it was cleaned then today is the day it starts to become unclean again. (And I know I told you all about just how messy my car was, it isn't always like that. Geez! Have faith people!)

Well I am going to keep a clean car. Keep my change. Make a list and stick to it.

Heck! What else can I do to better my life today?

...stay tuned.