Thursday, January 12, 2012

What had happen was...

I just opened a beer.. sat on the couch and started Facebooking. Ugh what kinda world are my kids gonna grow up in?

Do you ever worry about the type of relationships we build these days?

Yeah me neither. I am just kidding. I am welcoming social media with full force in 2012. I have been reading more and more things with these cautionary tales of using social media. There is a commercial out there asking "do you really want all of your friends to see this?" um yeah bitch I do. Thats the whole freaking point.

Yeah I've blogged about how difficult it is to remain anonymous and yet involve your friends and family in your endeavors but it's something that is the blogger, tweeter and facebooker must deal with. I think we are all learning the twists and turns of what our technological connections can throw our way. I know for sure that my family alone, on my Dad's side, there are multiple bloggers in our family and it's how we stay in touch. I follow my sister's blog who lives close to me and we see each other a lot. But it's life in twenty twelve.

So here's a link to all my families blogs..
so you can see what it's like to be one of seemingly hundreds in my family.

My cousin Erin who moved into Baltimore City,

My sister Melanie who is into everything as a newlywed and super dog owner.

My cousin Megan..who seriously is a gypsy.
God love her, I'm pretty sure she's in Nevada now.. but I'll have to check on that.

Okay so I'm pretty sure that isn't all of them.. I have to get more info to even keep up. But I love these people and I love that we all blog in this day and age I don't know how else I would see or hear from these people.

Oh yeah I learned how to Skype the other day.. randomly skyped with my aunt Jeanne. Yeah so I've been blogging for YEARS before it was the norm but I definitely missed the Skype boat.. but I'm here now!

Also I'm gonna go ahead and say my Twittering is the best around. It kills my younger brother that I get more replies and retweets from famous people than he does. Muhahahaha, sibling rivalry in the 21st century.

..stay tuned

Sunday, January 1, 2012

With a bang..

I dont do a good job of posting things that deserve to be posted about. I sit and think about the post that I will write and never get around to it.

I get it. But I think that if this recent drama in my life is not worth posting about then nothing is. So here it is, the beginning of 2012 and I'm going to share with you a story of how my 2011 ended.

I've been single for months and months now... almost a year actually. And not due completely to the fact that I hadn't found anyone or they hadn't found me. I had this one poor boy who loved me. I coulda put a leash on him cuz he was like my puppy dog. Which is super unappealing to me and I put the kibosh on that. Then there were a couple more who along the way either took me out, talked about taking me out or I just ended up out with them.

But nothing was to happen. Per my desires to stay single. I really got the vibe that that's what was meant to happen. Then I got the news about my child bearing abilities. Then I made a plan.

Dear sweet lord I never thought I would be one of those girls. The "you're interrupting my plan I can't date you this may be the plot of a romantic comedy" kinda girl. Ugh I hated those girls. Just live life honey!

Oh wait. I'm planning when and where and how I'm going to adopt my children in the next couple years. That can't possibly happen without a plan. Yup yup I am one of them.

So of course just to knock me on my ass I've met someone. With whom I really enjoy spending time with. He makes me completely at ease. We've spent the last couple of weeks together and I decided I was gonna be his roommate. He has a nice new place and I was gonna get some room to breathe and things would all work out perfectly.
Yeah effing right... I must've dozed off into dreamland with that thought process cuz that is SOOO not what happened.

We caused quite a stir at the idea of us being roommates. I have yet to mention that his ex-girlfriend was a friend of mine. Now let me clarify that statement. It wasn't friends like oh my gosh I miss you let's hang out kinda friends. She moved to the left coast and I may never have seen her again. Time would only tell.

Well f*&^ time because I saw her again, she came back into town and decided that I was a bitch and a half because I was moving in with her ex blahhh blahh blahhh.
But I was only to be his roommate. Why the hell was I getting so much flak for this?
I wasn't dating him, we'd become closer and I thought I was going to gain a PIC out of this not a boyfriend SHEESH.

So I patch things up with her. We go on our merry way, get the big group of girls together and laugh about it.

Flipping DAYS later the whole effing script has changed. What I would not allow myself to think of, where I would not go with my thoughts had to finally happen. I went there. But mostly because SHE kept involving me in their bulls*&T drama. Telling me what they talk about blahhh blahh blahh. He let it out that he has feelings for me. And then his besty pulls me aside one night and tells me the same thing.

Oh shit.
Now I start thinking about it all. And when he called me to pour his heart out and tell me how he felt about me I could not resist. I knew that I had been hiding similar feelings but I had NO effing clue what to do about them. So like a stubborn mule I just didn't think about them. They didn't go away but I didn't have to own them. I was truthful in what I was saying to people about NOT being interested in him. Cuz my thoughts had NEVER gone there prior to that night.

Well let's fast forward to the good part. It's out there nowm between he and I. We've decided we are going to date.
But the logistics of his "not so sane" ex being in town were a little tricky.
And within a day or two, she has sent her spies in, they give her the intel and boom it's out there to the world. The whole story I had before about not dating him has changed and I look like a lying whore.. (her words)

Well she isn't of sound mind and body so she puts me on major blast. She takes to any social media outlet she can. She screams and cries and whines and shouts from the roof tops her feelings on the subject. And NONE of them were less than pure hatred.
She sends out a mass text to EVERYONE we mutually know about how I am "banging" (again, her words) her ex.

Great so now my stomach starts to drop and I've got no where to run. This girl ends up spending the next 48 hours making my life hell. She loses her MIND. And makes sure she lets everyone see her do it. She is hate posting, hate texting and more.

Now if you've read my posts before you may notice I'm a tough broad with a really sensitive interior. My moral compass is usually dead on and I cannot stray from it. I leapt with my heart on this one and moral compass be damned for a moment.

I can tell you that stress, fear and sadness are NO way to start a brand new relationship. I about vomited, cried and just plain broke down multiple times. The physical toll that this took on my body was insane. I didn't eat for two days, therefore I was extremely lethargic. I couldn't focus I was paranoid as to what crazy thing she would do next. I honestly hated every moment of being awake. I was scared and I could only wait it out.

I sat and spoke with him about it all, he saw the stress in my face, he tried to ease my burden but he was the ex she was still in love with. He could do no wrong in her eyes. She was dead set on making ME pay for this alone.

We laughed about it when she got really crazy and said things that didn't make sense.
We bickered a little bit about how to handle things.
We got through it. Together. It actually brought us a little closer.

So I guess there is an upside to everything. But harassment is no joke. I get it now. I honestly was moments away from calling the police because my life and my job is stressful enough, I was near core melt down and it was not going to be pretty.

Cut to today, where I've woken up after ringing in the new year with my new boyfriend. And we are still happy as clams together.
I am completely lost in my own thoughts of ALL of my fears of just how this relationship started and whether or not that was a healthy foundation to start on or not, but I'm going for broke. He treats me like a queen, he respects the hell out of me and he is a stubborn ass. I couldn't have asked for more!

I was single for a long time because I knew I wanted to be. I know that I want to be with him now.

and let's face it, I do what I want.

...stay tuned.