Monday, May 18, 2009

Tweet this...

I've got a few posts in the works. I currently updated one because you know you are on your way when you piss some people off on a somewhat anonymous blog like this little one here. Ha.

For now I am semi-obsessed with space walks. Like legit space walks. The more people that check this shit out the better.
My best friends parents work for NASA I have been exposed to it for nearly 10 years of my life and I still don't get it all but right now Mike Massimino and company are in space and they are tweeting.

No lie.

Twitter is literally global. It's awesome and pretty scary at the same time.
Oh and also I ate astronaut food when my best friend brought it home from her internship in Texas this week. The neopolitan ice cream?... pretty...pretttty, good.

Anywho. Follow this guy on twitter. @astro_mike.
And learn yourself some space stuff.
Pass it on.

oh and
...stay tuned.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Do Not Disturb... I'm sunbathing on a boat.

I'm on a boat. Seriously I just took a break from the nicest day that most of the east coast has seen in weeks to show you this video.
Okay I lied. I was thirsty and hungry and graham crackers weren't cutting it. I am currently sunbathing on my dad's boat all day but I popped inside to read something funny... or feed my face. Either one.

Instead of reading anyone else's well thought out Friday blogs I chose to ignore everyone and look for good shit for my own damn blog. I stumbled across this gem upon my brother's insistence that I check out "tow in body boarding".

I was on facebook and across the room he yells "tow in body boarding!" I replied "uhh what?"
"youtube it" he says and I told him "no".

I got on twitter and he says "ahhh i told you isn't it awesome?"
"I'm not looking at it I'm tweeting"
"No one wants to read what you have to write, go look at tow in body boarding"
"I don't have time for that crap!" I hissed back.

So I then went to check it out. He yells something like "yeah, it's tight, I know, I'm cool."
and I told him I didn't listen to anything he ever told me and was not in fact on youtube, I was checking my gmail.
He heard the terrible song in the background and has now patted himself on the back because he knows that after I tweeted the link I was gonna put it up on my blog too. Dangsies.My brother is cooler than I am.

Like I said the song is freaking terrible but the video is genius. This I can promise you is how my brothers and I will spend the summer. The first half trying to figure out who can drive the jet ski masterfully enough to do this at the beach and the second part making sure we can survive the first few attempts.

Happy Friday. (be glad I said it now and not 3 days later, on Monday!)

Happy Friday. (be glad I said it now and not 3 days later, on Monday!)

...stay tuned.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Spoiler Alert:: The Dog Dies.

It has seriously been raining for at least a week straight,maybe two. At least here in Virginia. I stopped watching the weather after day 4 of the rain so I don't know if other parts of the country are drowning like I am. I can't keep track anymore. All I know is that my days off keep getting screwed cuz I just can't motivate myself to do anything when its raining. I can't run outside and I certainly cannot motivate myself to go to the gym instead. (the gym membership I am paying for while trying to rub together two pennies to purchase a new car since mine is laughing in my face with its new starter and 8000 other broken parts)

So here it is day 2409325 of the flood and I have two whole freaking days off and I don't see the clouds a clearing any time soon.
How the hell am I supposed to go shopping for a new car? (Oh I almost forgot about ebay and plenty of other online shopping experiences. Why DO i leave my house ever?)

How the hell am I supposed to party it up for Memorial Day weekend at the beach? It's a tradition and I will not have this massive amount of precipitation bring those plans crashing down. (And yes I will consider it doomsday if it rains just a drop on my beach trip that is still over two weeks away. I'm not a drama queen, just a beach bum.)

How the hell am I supposed to be all baby planning for my BFF who is in preterm labor and gonna pop out this kid any day now? I feel like I am the husband who has to do all this planning but I am a best friend so I do have some representing to do. Especially since the main BFF is in Tey hass (texas duh.) and I have to represent us both. Unless the kid holds on for another week or so when all three of us will be reunited. I'm gonna bring her lunch tomorrow and talk to her belly and tell the little bugger that I am stressing out and I would really like it if she played by the rules and came out on her due date. But I don't really know how that works.

On a random side note: I watched Marley and Me. Yes I am aware I am 68 years late and I just want to tell anyone who is possibly slower than myself. It sucks. The dog dies but thats the most riveting part of the story. Lame.

Up next: Slumdog Millionaire. I'm hoping there is bollywood type dancing, if not, I'm going to be pissssed.

...stay tuned.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Half-Gay **Updated**

Apparently I've pissed a lot of people off in this post. I apologize.Which is hysterical because no one fucking reads this thing.

My life can be funny it can be entertaining but when it isn't I make sure it sounds that way in my blog. Things may be a bit exaggerated in here.(GASP!, A hyperbole?! Not in a writer's life!?@!) I am not in fact calling anyone gay. And if I was, who cares cuz gay people rule. But I'm not. So relax fancy pants and everyone who has to do with this post. My life is blog fodder. I call 'em like I see 'em. Get over it. I have apologized for feelings hurt. I never have and never will intend to hurt anyone, in this blog or in my daily life. It's not who I am. I am in no way a malicious person and my words are all I have. I like to craft a story and this here... is a story.

And because I have previously said I am not a self loathing blogger who deems her shit worthless and still looks for a hand. AND Regardless of the pure fact that I have only a few readers from time to time , I will indeed keep this post up because I'm pretty sure the people I pissed off want nothing to do with me at this point and have no interest in a little blog like this...So here goes.

I recently bought some sexy purple pumps.They were calling my name, gorgeous and shiny, mind you I am in dire need of a new car. Not new new just new like, it runs. But these shoes could not be ignored.

Now before you start hurling stones at me and preaching about saving or spending wisely,I want to tell you that they only cost 7 dollars. And if you've met a woman who can pass up a good pair of heels and a good deal, well then you will have met a man. No such woman exists.

Problem is, the last man I was trying to date, kind of had that same flare for shoes that I have. (I should have freaking known)

Now I got me a collection of high heels, no Jimmy Choos, no LaBoutins either. But sister can add some flavor to her outfits when need be.

So every time we would go out, I'd arrive all gussied up (Timeout: How can I NOT have a boyfriend yet? All I want to do is get dressed up when we go out, watch sports when we don't and make people laugh in between? This world is just cruel.)

Anyway, upon arrival the first thing he would do is look at my heels and make a comment. Sometimes he'd even lift my pant leg to get a better look. Now I thought "oh cool he appreciates how I get all fancy for him" A guy that takes me out, calls me back AND appreciates my uncomfortable but oh so sexy footwear?! Besides the ex-wife and kid he's perfect!

Hmmm, wait isn't he wearing some expensive boots or crocodile shoes himself? Damnit. Gay. My flipping Gaydar failed me. I managed to go on multiple dates (with plenty of perfect cleavage gone to waste) with this guy and not notice this? Maybe I could just chalk it up to his Fancy Pants having some knowledge about fashion. He does wear Versace eye glasses. I just can't bring myself to accept this fact.

Unnntil, one night.

Unfortunately it all came to a screeching halt when I rushed to see him one night when I was in a grumpy ass mood and I realized he wanted a geisha. Not a girlfriend. He wanted some PYT to entertain him. He wanted a porcelain doll that was funny and could dance with him. (Oh crap, he liked to dance too. How could I have NOT known?!?) He wasn't the least bit attracted to me. Now his friend Gigantor next to him. The Dude?! Yeah he would dance with him. And rather closely I might add.

So that night,out of his mouth come the words "half gay" and I swooped my head around and said "um? why the hell am I here then?"

I then began to ponder a few things, mostly the difference between half gay and bisexual.

In my head there is a difference...bisexual is a clear desire to be with both genders. Half gay is more along the lines of a confused person. One who may come off "metro" at first. One who cares about shoes on girls but has a guy in tow everywhere he goes. One who claims that only reason he can't be gay is that he has reproduced. Once.

and we haven't gone out again since then.Shocker.

...stay tuned.