Wednesday, July 23, 2008

100 truths...

100. I love strawberry flavored things
99. I have 4 brothers and 2 sisters ( I won't break it down into step, half or full because we've all been a part of each other's lives too long to not count them all as straight up siblings)
98. I have weird big toes and I am super insecure about them.
97. My love affair with the beach began when I was a kid with Ocean City, MD and anyone who trashes it verbally will be shot.
96. My oldest brother is an unbelievable soccer player and it kills me that he isn't playing pro right now
95. I was in People magazine. The one with baby Jessica on the cover. I won a contest for being cute in Osh Gosh B'Gosh clothes.
94. Since watching Matilda I have always wanted special powers.
93.I don't really like ice cream but if I am going to eat it, it better have cookies of some sort in it.
92. I have never had a cavity in my life and I eat more candy than should be lawful.
91. I also don't have health insurance so I don't go to the dentist a lot.
90. Laundry can be found in every crevice of my room, and I like it that way.
89. My favorite color is purple, or green, or orange, or yellow. Depends on the day. But definitely not red.
88. My parents got divorced before I hit double digits and I developed a heart murmur (smart child!) to get some attention.
87. I frequently won coloring contests as a child.And maybe that is why I have such an innate desire to "stay in the lines"
86. When given a microphone I act shy but am dying on the inside to belt out and WOW everyone.
85. This is a result of my parents whore-ing me out at the Carney Crab House to do Karaoke as a child.
84. My (22 year old) younger brother is one of my best friends
83. Harrowing car experiences have made me a better woman. I can change my oil, a tire and a window if I should so need to (again)
82. I have a very difficult relationship with my father, he is the greatest man I have known, while my likeness to him is the biggest obstacle I have had to overcome in my adult life.
81. I only buy costume jewelry because I will lose it no more than 3 months after I purchase it. ( Just bought a necklace and I have NO idea where it is)
80.I don't cry, like seriously ever. But that does not mean I am not a girly girl who wants to be swept up and twirled and dipped and absolutely overwhelmed with emotion.
79. Kids are my passion. ( In a non creepy way)
78. While skateboarding on my knees at my house on Nathan Court I broke my two front teeth.
77. I then proceeded to break them 6 more times. They are currently broken also, see # 91
76. When cooking something I like to put one small piece in first, like one macaroni noodle in before the water even boils.
75. My youngest (11 year old) brother is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Ever.
74. I will strive to have a marriage like that of my mother and my step father.
73. I wish I had stuck with dancing because I have it in my blood.
72. I swore I would never be a waitress and here I am today, a kick ass server at a Seafood restaurant.
71. Breakfast for dinner is by far the best dinner I could ask for.
70. I am the loudest person I know. And have been told so by at least 500 other people.
69. I credit my sexual repression to an early start in catholic school.
68. I dropped out of college, twice. And I am okay with that.
67. I have yet to learn that I am not the funniest, smartest or cutest girl in the room at all times.
66.I have never been in love.
65. I give my heart away at the drop of hat, so maybe I've loved everyone I've been with.
64. I used to be called Cinderella because I have an wicked step mother and two evil step sisters. But I've since found out they are more evil to each other, not so much to me..
62. I will never forget the day my mom told me she couldn't forgive me for going to Texas instead of going to her mothers funeral. I was 12.
61.I have a slight obsession with my Baltimore Ravens and there really is no point to life when football isn't on. (Sorry O birds)
60.My name means more to me than maybe it should, I will never change it. Married or not.!
59. I grew up with Michael Phelps and I will remain his biggest fan.
58. When I was living in California I had a pet bum, who lived outside my bedroom window. His name was Socks.
57. I keep putting off getting my tattoo because I am not sure I really want to be inked forever.
56. I would die without my best friend Morgan.
55. I have an obsession with palm trees.
54. I wish I never heard the phrase "jack of all trades master of nothing" because it alone has caused more damage in my development than any other single statement. I am learning to use it to my advantage.
53. My face is off limits. I have the most odd abhorrence to anyone putting their hands near my head neck or face. So don't because I turn green like the hulk.
52. I always did the worst in the classes that I was best at.
51. I don't like chocolate. At all. (unless it's over a candy bar)
50. I am a middle child and I always act like it.
49. I am dying to fall in love, messy or not I like a challenge
48. Triathlons were a lot easier when I hadn't done any yet.
47.I can remember sitting with my childhood friend Shannon and her parents discussing my wedding dress.
46. I don't think I will actually get married. Ever.
45. I was born to be a mother and I can't wait until I can snuggle my babies and grow them to be the most amazing people. Until then I will gladly take care of anyone else's children!
44. I used to have a fear of bridges, until I got over it. (pun intended)
43. I stood in line with my Step Dad for Nashville Star and when he didn't get called back I secretly wished death upon Billy Ray Cyrus and anyone involved with the passing of his talents.
42. I played soccer as a kid to be like my brother and dad.
41. All my life people have said I look like the girl who was in Andre, Corrina Corrina , Water World and more recently Napoleon Dynamite. I still don't know her name.
40. I have an uncanny ability to listen to and follow my intuition and it has yet to fail me.
39. I love being 5 foot tall.
38. Racial jokes are not funny to me and I will make it known.
37. I have never smoked anything in my life and I don't plan to.
36. If I could wake up tomorrow and be a nurse, I would be. But I dropped out of nursing school.
35. I am deathly afraid of failure.
34. I am also scared of the dark. Still. At24.
33. I want to change someones life for the better and know about it.
32. When my nails grow long and are well manicured a change in my life is about to come.
31. I have an attraction to 30 somethings and my Dad called the last one a pedophile.To his face.
30. I refuse to be "that" girl and keep changing my definition of who or what exactly "that girl" is.
29. I have intimacy issues. See above #31
28. Crossing the finish line of my first triathlon was supposed to make me feel incredible but I actually felt nothing.
27. Playing the "name game" with my Dad as a kid was one thing that saved us from the torturous rides back and forth to each parents house in Maryland and Virginia.
26. A friend of mine got raped in middle school and I remember not being scared but instead thinking she was stupid.( She was drinking )
25. There is nothing better in this world to me than celebrating a birthday.
24. Milk is probably my favorite drink, but I don't like it ice cold.
23. Skulls are an obsession of mine and I fear it will manifest into me covering my body with skull tattoos and becoming an actual pirate.
22. Is my favorite slash lucky number.
21. I refuse to make a New Year's resolution or give something up for lent.
20. I am truly happy when those around me are happy.
19. I have spent a great deal of my being, on creating myself to be a girl who is unlike any other. That is what keeps me ticking.
18.I don't hold grudges I get over things so so so easily. Just don't rile me up in the first place, it seems like I am going to jump out of my skin and kill someone but I do NOT know how to NOT be at level 100. At all times.
17. My long hair is part of who I am and that is a HUGE reason why I want to cut it off, just as other people start defining me by it. ( i recently cut it shoulder length with bangs and people went ape shit telling me this is the hair style for me... We will see.)
16. When people spell things wrong it irritates the crap out of me.
15. I took Spanish for 8 years of my life and I can barely speak it now.
14. My dog Summer was by far the best pet I have ever had and my pretty much emotionless older brother was devastated by her death, and thereby solidified the fact that she was indeed, the greatest.
13. My insight and wisdom are far beyond my years but for some reason I am no better off in life because of it.
12. I have no filter when it comes to speaking my mind. I have a lot of friends because of it.
11. I wore Mickey and Minnie mouse spandex in fifth grade.
10. Reading books and writing poetry was how I learned to escape at an early age.
9. I want to live on an exotic beach but could never move away from my family.
8. Chick flicks are the worst thing ever. Again, I don't cry.
7. My step brother used to say the words "crap" and "damn" when we were younger and I would scold him, I now curse like a sailor.
6. Because of my upbringing in a catholic school I will never force that upon my children.
5. Since I can remember I have avoided taking showers every day.
4. I have embodied everything I ever criticized about my mother.. (i.e. she hates the cold, the way she flips her long hair, her strong legs.)
3.My sister threw a punch at me ( and landed it) years ago and it has changed the way I look at life.
2. My dad used to yell at me when I couldn't swallow a pill when I was a kid and sick. I will now forgo pills until I am knocking on death's door.
1. I only make to do lists if I have already completed 50 percent of the things on the list. Except my list of 100 things to do before I die.

Rockin my Sienna Millers and watchin' em drop like flies 7.15.2008

Rockin my Sienna Millers and watching them drop like flies...
Current mood: giddy

So I had this thought all weekend that I was going to write this blog about.. sexuality and the power of sexy words and the the differential of their usage. Which I still am in a roundabout way.
However. I had THE MOST incredible weekend that I may ever have. So in turn I must write about how elated I am at the moment and the events that led up to this jubilation!
Surprise surprise the icing on the cake is that I met someone this weekend. Of course as usual I am reluctantly head over heels giddy and gushing about him. I met him just hours after arriving in Dewey... (how can I not love that place?)
We got ready and headed to the Starboard. Good ol' Starboard. The girls and I.. meaning Morgan of course and my new friend Laura Christ haha. Walked in VIP which is always a good start to the night. Laura had met some friends and wanted us to hang out with them. They were a crowd of gay men. Well... not the typical gay men. You couldnt tell most of these guys were gay. Especially the 6 foot 4 New York cop. He ended up being my favorite. Shocker, I found a way to pick a fight with the biggest guy there and he turns out to be my new best friend. Anyway, there I was, running my mouth;making people laugh and pissing people off all at the same time. But God do I live for the moment when people are taken aback by my words and then proclaim " I like her , she's fiesty" that and any similar phrase is like music to my ears. So while doing that and shaking my ass to the "good" songs I stumble upon a super cute guy who starts talking to me. Well hours later he is proclaiming his love for me and I can just feel the genuineness of his words. It sounds stupid but to hear " God, you are sexy" is such a high. I felt good that night but it's amazing what one persons words can do to you. The point I am trying to make is that earlier in the night I had a random guy come up to me on the street and tell me that my "tits are fantastic" ... think that guy got a reaction from me? No, a simple thank you and I was on my way. He wasn't sincere in any fashion. Well maybe he did honestly mean that I had great boobs, but it had nothing to do with me as a person. So it only comes off as smarmy and insincere. Whereas someone like the new guy looks and me, takes all of me in and tells me to "stop" and when I ask "stop what?" and he replies with "can you stop being sexy for just a minute?" It makes women melt. It does. I can tell you there are different levels of words with women. Pretty, Gorgeous, Smoking, Cute, Hot, Sexy... they all mean something totally different oddly enough. And every woman has that one word that means the most. For me gorgeous always hits me in the heart but sexy sends me into another world. And I just love how different people can make you feel like you are on top of the world. So sparing the steamy details I have found a new tryst to try to schedule into my life!
After that being my Saturday night I didnt think Sunday night could follow it up.

It did.

We proceeded to soak up the sun during the day and then head to the Rusty Rudder for round two of Dewin the Dew. Burnt Sienna always plays on Sunday nights there so we knew we were in for a good time regardless. The same asic crew met up.. minus the new boy, he returned home that morning much to my shagrin. However I did get a "goodmorningsexy " text to wake up to and you'd think the novelty would wear off by then. Nope it send me into a tailspin that I cannot forsee having a good night without this fantastic new guy by my side telling me how intoxicated he is by me.
I try anyway.
The Rudder as usual is filled with onlookers who sit atop a bench and cat call to the girls who strut their stuff and drop it down low. Of course the dance floor and I go way back so my girls and I were indeed those girls ..There again is the difference between a guy who says something, means it and gets somewhere versus the guy who just makes a comment to hear himself talk to a pretty girl and gets no where. If he can look you in the eyes, before or after he already looked over every other inch of you and you can see that he likes something other than your suggestive dance moves or your well displayed assets .. and believe me gents, it isn't hard to tell the difference. If that occurs then the girls are like putty in your hands. All they want is to recreate that moment where you are awe struck by their beauty and you can't help but to want to learn more about the beautiful creature in front of you. And not the obligitory oconversation you have with the only intentions being able to get to see those suggestive dance moves off the dance floor.
And as we were leaving, shots deep and my mouth running like it never has before. I had an audience mind you, which only fuels my fire. My new giant gay friend has the same sick sense of humor and we were on a roll. As we struted home I had a clinger. I didnt mind because I can handle my own. We nicknamed him Jeffrey Daumer cuz he seemed like the type to maybe want to wear my skin as a suit if I had gone anywhere near his place... and I was ripping him a new one everytime he opened his mouth but he was of the breed of gentleman who love to get abused by women. He said multiple times that my bitchiness was attracting him further. Thats when I start to turn off the comedy routine and start telling him the truth about where this night was going. Oblivious JD kept following us and it amazed me that in the span of 24 hours I felt I had met every type of guy there is to meet. Gentlemen and scholars, losers and jerks. Hot and Not, gay and straight. And they all seem to have a different approach when it comes to attracting women... it got me thinking.
Then the night came to an end and Morgan and I again traipsed back to our stomping grounds of First Street. Monday came along and I had had too many laughs, tons of kisses and lots of sun. I didnt think it could get better. I was still talking to this new guy which was a good sign and kept me from wanting any more of what Dewey may have to offer. Little did I know what it was going to offer me then....
Monday was spent mostly by myself since Morgan had to work. .. went for a run... a good long run and I felt better because the last few weeks I felt that I couldnt possibly be in the shape my eyes were telling me I was in. I hadnt worked out like I should have been and yet the mirror was my best friend. Well the other shoe dropped and the mirror snapped me back to reality and I felt like poop. I waffled between wanting to go out again and wanting to just sit at home and play mario kart until my thumbs bled. What changed my mind quickly was a phone call from Morgan.... it went something like this. Come pick me up I am off work and I served Luke Wilson at my table tonight." Ummm what? .She was serious and I was just out of the shower and still feeling a bit ... bleh. I dont know how else to describe it. It doesn't matter I was going to meet Luke Wilson! Well we got ready in record time and went out.. this time to our faithful companion... The Lighthouse. And there they were. Now I wasn't lucky enough to actually meet Luke himself. I just got his entourage. But they were pretty damn entertaining. Soon enough it was Luke Wilsons buddy falling for my best friend. He was totally smitten. And then like that... we were in. We were now being offered anything out little hearts desired to contunue this good time.Little did I know that the 6 foot 4 gorgeous man who was barely paying attention to me was actually smitten with me as well. Did I mention he was freaking gorgeous? So here we are two little 5 foot nothing best friends charming the pants off of Luke Wilson's boys. Not literally of course we both had to work in the morning so we went home with each other. Which only made them fall in love with us more...

And there you have it. My life. My weekend and I am on cloud nine right now. The new boy keeps texting me and he is the only one who really has potential out of all those guys. In the 72 hours I was in Dewey I felt I got approached with all kinds of game and the one that won. Sincere hearted sexy speaking smooth mover Scott.

Naivete 6.27.2008

Current mood: peaceful

So it's a random Friday and I have been so deep in thought recently it seems. I blame it on my lack of commitments. No boys, no TRIs. I am not so overscheduled right now my brain is working overtime.
Although I do think some of my best stuff comes when I am super busy. So naturally, I am looking to book up my schedule again. Another Triathlon you ask? Well, just maybe!! I do plan on doing another Sprint distance in August and was originally planning to do the Olympic distance in September through Team in Training. However, after speaking with a few people from that organization and I say few people because as soon as I started talking to one, she would go on vacation and pass me off to another person. (That is a bit irritating I must admit.) Besides that they told me that training for the Nation's Triathlon for them was already in week 7. Yeah that's right. Almost two months ago they started training for the September event. Gross, yuck,ew. I would not choose to spend my ENTIRE summer in training. I gave myself all of June to relax. Well I have gotten in like 3 beach days which I would consider my only time to relax... so that didn't really happen. Anyway, I bet you I could still start training in July and be fine by September. I felt last time I trained for 3 months and that was a few weeks too long. Who knows, I suppose I will mull over that decision some more...

I keep hesitating writing my super philosophical thoughts that I have been having. I have just pondered what it would be like to express to certain people in my life what I need to express to them. I am terrible at communicating. I dont know how to not act like things don't bother me. Truth be told most things don't but some actually do. I do have a pretty hard shell and things can't really get me down. It is an unbelievable asset if you are going to live your life on your terms constantly. The way I have. I will never experience things the way some people have because I won't allow myself to go to that place. My emotions are no where near the surface they are hidden way deep down. Unfortunately I actually think that I could live my life quite peacefully like this.My lack of emotion is certainly not a lack of passion or drive. It's a lack of wanting to let other people bring me down. I was, am and will always be a happy person. So crying and getting stuck in the past is not my idea of a useful way to spend your time. Either do something about it or don't but you have to get over it either way. Or you are living your life according to others. My problem with this is that the other day while driving, I made myself cry. I of course could only have done this when I was completely by myself and in the middle of a long drive. The tears lasted all of 10 minutes and then I was done. But had I not made that drive I wouldn't have allowed myself those salty teardrops to roll down my face for even just a moment. So get over it quickly and be a more positive person or allow myself some more tears? In my head I hear that question phrased "strong, or weak?" It's not to say that I don't always ride the daily roller coaster with ups and downs.And when you are in a relationship (which I can't forsee happening again for a very long time) then it is easier to be happy and sad according to someone else but as far as other people's actions or words determining how I am underneath... that won't change. I am truly blessed and I will always be a happy-go-lucky, hope for the best, live for today,tell it like it is, bubbly, stay positive, steady rock, always here for you little girl underneath.

However, I am trying to learn how to strike the balance between reading into what other people say and dismissing what some of those same people say. I trust myself 100%. I know who,what,where,when and why I have my own gut feelings and they are pretty accurate. It's when someone else or many someones start voicing their opinion and it touches on something I may have even felt but had already pushed aside. Recently, I heard a resounding chorus chime in about my fathers absence from a very important moment in my life. Granted most everyone missed this moment. Whether they were un invited or unable to come I felt I knew there was going to be a small crowd ahead of time. However the crowd got smaller when my '21 year old brained' father rang me and told me he "overslept" . Oh really? Not a chance that I believe that for a second and even if it was true it's one of the most terrible reasons I have heard in recent history.

Now that day. NOTHING and I mean nothing could have gotten me down. I crossed the damn finish line and that was it as far as my focus. But the more I thought about it and heard people and how upset they were, it got me thinking... he sucks! But it's not his first offense. And a few months back I had a situation that put a microscope over his life. And over his and my relationship. It is so bruised, not broken. But I think it would be very different if he were someone else in my life. He would get a tongue lashing and a total diss from me. I don't put up with bullshit like he throws around.
Or do I?
I guess I do.
The honest truth is that I will continue to. He is a grown man (only distinguishable by his actual age) and I will not change him. I don't plan on wasting my life trying to do so either. ( I don't plan on doing that to or for anyone else in my life either) I will however make sure he now knows how I feel when he acts like a complete idiot. I am just worried that either of my brothers will grow up to be like him. Not completely worried , because there are some wonderful things they could learn from him. And I am being totally honest. There are some aspects of his life that I would want any human to emulate. Should I be worried that I am going to grow up to be like him too? If I hadn't had this moment with a certain someone and had someone else pretty much ask me that very question I may not be thinking this. That moment definitely opened my eyes. But we all know there are some inevitable events of life and then BOOM you turn around and you are your parents. I know this. I just hope I turn out more like my mother... Well I just hope I can strike a balance between the two of them... and the rest of it is a wonderful new mixture of myself!

I also had another person in my life blow my mind with their ignorance. I give people the benefit of the doubt over and over again and yet this person kept going in the wrong direction from what I believed was the right thing to do. I've tried to help her but I can't anymore. The last straw was probably something stupid to most but it rubbed me the wrong way. Everytime i thought about it I think my emotion came to the surface more and more.
And this is the word that has been popping up in my introspective days lately.

Naive or Naivete

I know that on some levels I am indeed, naive. I do not know the ways of many worlds that I have not experienced. But could I be unaware enough to not know that people like this are going to be in my life? That I will continue to build myself up and people will try to cut me down. I get that but I guess I never thought it would be inside people. I talk openly about the amazing people that I have in my life. I truly feel that not many people get to have the quality of people in their lives that I get over and over again. I have a deep seeded respect for most people in my life. I got to choose some of them. Some of them I am just a lucky bastard to have had choose me!
SO with that said, I guess I really gave the crown of "amazing people" to EVERYONE in my life. And that is not the case. There are lovels of amazing and levels of people who are less so. These two people I spoke of are hopefully the extent of it. And that is where I keep asking myself if I am too naive. Can I really believe that I can go my whole life with only a few people who ruffle my feathers? Especially for the plans that I have to take over the world?
Well, I know that when it comes to serious things like death and drugs and destruction and love and hate and things of the world I would have to consider myself naive because I haven't experienced much of it. But can't I go my whole life without things like drugs and hate and still be a knowledgeable person? Or do I have to experience it all to know it all? I don't think many people can survive all of those things and live to tell about it.
Like am I naive enough to think that when my car window was smashed in earlier this year that it wasn't somones malicious attempt to fuck up my day?
Am I naive enough to believe that you can want something or someone bad enough and you will indeed get it?
Am I naive enough to think that the way that I live my life will affect someone elses life?
I have a ton more of these.. but I digress.

I have a pretty open mind and I can wrap my brain around a lot. So am I naive or do I just choose to see the world as it is but live my life trying to keep the good in and the bad out.?
And in that case then we are all naive to whatever we have not personally been through.I think one of my few talents comes in that I can learn from those around me. I need not to live through every bump in the road to learn to swerve every now and then
So is it a lack of understanding or a lack of experience?
Because I certainly understand a lot more than I have experienced

"Beautiful veins and bloodshot eyes" 6.10.2008

"beautiful veins and bloodshot eyes"...
Current mood: rejuvenated

So it's been a while since my triathlon and I have already sat down and written this blog but my computer made sure that it never got posted.. so here is an even quicker version of how my day went on May 31st....RACE DAY!
This may be a bit scatter brained though so I apologize..
I had driven to Ocean City teh night before to stay with my Aunt Jeanne. I woke up the morning of and I wasn't too nervous but my aunt was nervous enough for both of us. The actual race site was about an hour away so I had to get in the car and get there pretty early. Once I arrived there, there was a plethora of cars lined up and spilling out with people decked in race gear. This was the moment I started to get a little nervous. I thought maybe I was the only amateur embarking on this little trip. I set up my race stuff and I was clearly a tri newbie because I didn't have the towel and the whole little set up that most triathletes did.
Skip the whole per race jitters and the moving around trying to figure out exactly what the hell I am supposed to do. I tested out the waters and it was a bit frigid. but I was ready to get in those waters. It was an in water start and shocker everyone else could stand and I could NOT. I was already treading water minutes before I needed to. So the horn sounded and we were off... try learning to swim with 200 of your closest friends in a freaking cold pond... thats pretty much what it was like. It was very disorienting and I had a pretty bad cold a few days before so my ability to breathe was very diminished. That didn't help. Anyway it felt like I was in that water for hours.. I got out and started running towards the transition spot. I felt like I was going to throw up and told my aunt that. I in fact didnt have to but I had obviously been swallowing air and all of it had to escape somehow so it felt the same as feeling like I had to throw up. I took my sweet time getting my clothes on and wiping my feet from the disgusting pond silt and sand before I put my socks and shoes on. I got on my bike.. took a swig of water and I was off. Bike time. This was the best part just like I had thought it would be. I was fine. I wasn't ona road bike like 98% of the other racers there and I hope to get one before my next tri in August.
So we were biking INTO the wind the entire time.. it was pretty intense winds at some points.. which I have never done so that was a whole new experience for me. As people were riding they were cheering people on and it was pretty cool... at the 5 mile mark I had felt like it was 12 miles but I could keep going. I pushed harder after this point my muscles had warmed up and were doing just fine. After the 10 mile mark I still felt good but I was a little bit bored. I would love to do another race with a friend. Towards the end a woman came biking up and said " two and a half more miles! " and that triggered a bit of my competitive side and I hit the highest gear and started pedaling as if my life depended on it. It felt amazing the last few miles I just soared to the second transition spot. I got off the bike and took a lot less time than I had in the first transition. I started to run and I felt as if someone had tied 300 pound weights to my legs but i kept going. Aroudn this time I saw my roommate Erin. She had surprised me and shown up with a poster for me. I was super excited because three very important people were there for me and cheering me on. I like to say I could have done it by myself and I wasn't doing any of this for anyone else but these three people were the perfect mix of cheerleaders. My best friend Morgan, My Aunt Jeanne and my roommate Erin. Love them! And I cannot thank them enough for being a great support team.
So back to the race... I met my aunt somewhere down the race path and she ran with me, which was great. I had to slow down and she was there with me to chat a little bit. I made it down and back and ran to the finish line. It felt good. I definitely thought there was going to be a little more emotional for me to cross that line since this was a very important goal for me. I put a lot more than just a race on the line when I decided to do this a few months back. I am basing a lot of my own future abilities on whether I could successfully train and complete this race. I like to give up on things when they get hard. I don't tend to do something if I am not good at it. This was definitely something I would not know if I was good at until I crossed that line and honestly I was not very good. Luckily the fact that I crossed the finish line was enough for me the first time around. I do plan on getting better and better. This time I crossed the finish line at 2:08:19.. and it isn't blowing anyone away with that time but it wasn;t that bad either! I am very weird about numbers but I know I had to finish at this time because my race number was 128 and I was very excited about that. I needed a 2 in there because thats my lucky number and I wanted an 8 because that is my older brothers number and he is one of the most talented persons I know. So when I got 128 that felt good to me.. because the 1 was there because I was going to be number 1 !!!
When I finished 2:08.. there were the 2 and the 8 that I had wanted and then 19 was my older brothers other number during college. So maybe if I get some crazy numbers our of my head I will be able to finish well under that time the next time around.
I can't believe the weeks leading up to my race and again I think the world has a way to right your wrongs. So originally I had set out to just finish and I would be satisfied... then somewhere along the way I felt amazing and I thought I could kick some serious ass...then i got shin splints and a stress fracture in my left leg, my granddather passed away, and I had to go to New York for the week leading up to the race. So the universe made sure that I got off my horse and I could settle back down to crossing the finish line with a smile on my face. That is what I did and I am very glad that that was my goal. Now, is a different story. I know what I am in for and I know what to prepare for. And now I want to kick some serious ass! Whoever else wants to join me is more than welcome to become a triathlete! I love being able to say that and I realize the novelty of that has pretty much worn off so I will stop saying it but just know that on the inside I am dancing around singing " I am a triathlete, I am a triathlete! " Hahahaha
Other than the race, the rest of my life has still yet to settle down, I think it should get back to normal about this time next week. I got rid of the latest boy, hahaha he didn't last long as usual. And I am back to having fun and being me. We celebrated Morgan's 23rd birthday in Dewey this last weekend and I had a blast I absolutely love that place. I do. It felt good to be home there. I got a nice little tan and got the sand in my toes and took a dip in the lovely waves and just enjoyed the summer time. Gosh I love my life. I know I say that a lot but I feel very very lucky to be able to do the things I do surround by the people I have. So thank you to everyone who is amazing in my life! Now what the hell am I going to do since I am not training my life away?!? I guess I will have to come up with some new crazy goal to accomplish!

In TRI-ing times 5.30.2008

in TRI -ing times
Current mood: adventurous

Here it is. Less than 24 hours before race time.
If I could have predicted the way that this last three weeks have gone I am not sure that I would have embarked on this journey to begin with. I am so freaking tired. I am ready to say that " I am a triathlete", no more " I am training for a triathlon." { Although I do plan to do more already this summer.And now I have infected others and Ben and Britt and Sean and others want to train with me later this summer!}These last few weeks have just put every aspect of me to the test. I know that come tomorrow I will wake up and feel fine, the sun will be shining things will go well and I will cross that finish line with a smile on my face. Until then though it is hard for me to grasp all of what has been thrown my way recently. It started with a stress fracture that sidelined my running, then add a hectic work schedule, two deaths very close to me, an unexpected trip to new york, major life decisions, PMS, a new boy {major distraction!}, a head cold and severe allergies and mix in some other stress factors and you have about my mind set for the past month. ...
It hard to shake this feeling that something is conspiring against me. But I am slowly realizing that its just a test. If I had been able to finish this triathlon with the ease of which I started it with then it may not mean as much. But around this time tomorrow I will be making my way across the finish line and I can't tell you what I will feel. I haven't pushed myself like this in a very very long time. So this is going to be good. I've got a great cheerleading team coming to support me and I can't wait to do them proud. I have amazing people in my life and I am very thankful for all of them.
So now, after arriving back in Virginia around 2am last night I am going to put my bike in the car and get back on the road to finish my latest life goal. Oh i can feel the butterflies starting already! Don't wish me luck, I don't need it!

Off to become a triathlete.....

Major Recovery 5.13.2008

Major Recovery
Current mood: rebellious

Oh man is my body in major need of some recovery time. I, doctor whittington have decided that my shin splints were always a result of a stress fracture underneath.Self diagnosed, yes, but it is likely the truth. I cannot run without an extreme amount of pain anymore. Good, Great, Grand. So I have decided that running is out until race day. Only cycling and swimming until then and maybe some moderate jogging when I get closer to race day. 18 days and counting! Damnit. I guess thats what I get for being a slow piece of poop who suddenly decided to do a Triathlon!
You better believe this will not hinder my performance on race day. I will absolutely give it my all and the result will ultimately be, me crossing the finish line with a smile on my face. Just like I set out to do.
This however may hinder my plans to go straight forward into an Olympic distance Triathlon in D.C. in September. Who knows.. I will have to stop by an actual Doctor of Medicine and see what the verdict is. After race day of course.

Besides that things are good. I just got back from a weekend full of my bestest best friend Morgan. I went down to Blacksburg to celebrate her graduation. I am so proud of her it is unbelievable. There was even an argument at dinner before her graduation that showed me just how passionate she is about what she does. She is an amazing woman and I have a lot to learn from her. But for now she is all graduated and will be coming back to me tomorrow for the summer. ( Until she leaves me again for North Carolina. )So this summer should be great, her and I together again! That may or may not spell trouble for everyone else around us.. so prepare yourselves accordingly.
But anyway just being back down there is good for my soul. There are certain places in this world that just bring a sense of calm and peace into me. Blacksburg is one of those places. Dewey Beach is another place like that and I cannot freaking wait to get back there either. I love the people there and I have even more reason to love it now. I joked with my roommate Erin earlier in the weekend that there were so many potential new boyfriends that I couldnt decide and I may bring at least 12 of them home with me. Well little did I know that I would really meet someone that I would want to bring home with me {the others were just hotties that I spotted from across the room , but all potential boyfriends in my mind} I don't want to go all into girly mode and gush about him but I am just truly glad I went down to Blacksburg this weekend. Later this summer it may prove to be very worthwhile. I just love being back in that beginning phase... I'm pretty sure all girls love this part! Oh no am I turning into a girl again?!? Noooo!! Haha
As far as the rest of my life is concerned... I came to the conclusion that I have to do what is right for me. Seems easy enough. But that means not staying where I am . Unfortunately I feel I have been manipulated to the point that quitting will be no easy task. I don't know if it ever is but I hate giving up on things.. I hate being the bad guy and I hate walking away from a good thing. I have found that out in multiple facets of my life in the past few months. I am a big fat baby when it comes to letting things go. Even if they are meant to go and maybe they were even supposed to go much earlier. This will be a good test for me to stand up and assert myself and face the consequences. Even as I write this I have butterflies in my stomach. I have bigger and better things ahead of me and I cannot just ignore them because I am scared. I know this portion of my blog is pretty vague but it's been months of this back and forth and I am just ready to put aside all the uneasiness and move forward now. I am going to do it! Today! I am listening to my playlist on myspace...which i love. And right now Carrie Underwood's "Wasted" is on. How can I not make a move with Carrie telling me not to waste any more time! Okays so I must go, I have things I have to take care of !
And as my aunt said.. not Run Forrest Run.. instead it is now Swim Sammy the Seal Swim! And maybe even Bike Lance Bike!!!!

5k Schmive Kay! 4.28.2008

5K Schmive Kay
Current mood: rejuvenated

Ahhh, the morning after....After my 5k that is. Woke up yesterday and I was going to set out on my way to Richmond, most likely by myself. This 5k is for The Nicole Megaloudis Foundation, a cause very close to my heart... so the fact that I couldn't get any of my family or friends to join me was a major bummer. Until, my lovely roommate Erin woke up and treked with me for the nearly 5 hour roundtrip.I just wish it was easier to get more people in my life to realize what this means to me. I will probably be 40 no 75 years old and still doing 5ks for Nicole, it's just something that I will always make time for and I hope eventually people will catch on and start doing it with me.{ It is only 3.2 miles people!}
Maybe all this training scared everyone away! They are all afraid that I am too bad ass and they can't compete with me any longer. Well let me put that nasty rumor to rest hahaha. At the 5k on Sunday, Erin and I showed up and they were already lining up on the starting line and as she used the restroom and I held Jordy, they yelled "Go!" and so I took off, not giving in to the overwhelming need to use the restroom myself. Crossed the street , found the path and skipped out on paperwork and tried to look like I was supposed to be there! I carried Erin's dog-like thing with me until she came out of the port-a-john and I waved her over to the path we had already set down. We put the dog down on the leash and took off. We were passing person after person and that felt great. But the best part was that as we passed each group the most common phrase we heard was "WHAT is that?" referring to Jordy of course. We quickly explained that she was clearly half squirell, half cat, half dog, part kangaroo, part yoda part gremlin and all Jordy! We couldnt help but laugh and with her on the leash and embarking on her first 5k she was poised to take the lead! If only her human countrparts could keep up!
One lap down and Jordy wasn't gonna make it, neither was I. Not because I was tired but because the likelyhood of my bladder bursting seemed to be growing by the step. So I ran off course and revisited the port-a-pottys and gave the dog to Nicole's mom,Gail. I told Erin to keep going, since this was her first 5k as well I wanted nothing to skew what it would really be like for her. Even though I had to take a potty break I quickly got back on course and set out to catch up with Erin. Well the girl who always says she only likes to run for a little bit and then walk had no walking in her for this race! She was beyond a point where I could catch up with her and not exhaust what was left to finish the entire race. I have blogged before about the fact that most of the time at Nicole's race I would jog two laps and be done. Not only would I be finished I would be panting hard on the sidelines acting like I had just run much longer. This time I was on my third lap when God thought he would test me by giving me those lovely cramps that come once a month right in the middle of the race. On a mostly empty stomach mind you. I thought I was going to die with each step I took. And I allowed myself to think that way for about 40 more steps. And then I put it out of my mind and realized just how easy this was actually going to be. And I finished. With a race time of 29:30 I was pretty proud. I knew there were some other factors that went into that time and I was pretty sure that my finish time would have been closer to Erin's at 25 minutes and some odd seconds, had I not veered off course for a pee break! Either way, we both felt pretty good after that race and I now know to a deeper extent how actually likely it is that I will kick ass at this Triathlon in a month. That's right I have a little over 30 days until my event!
Got my cute new bathing suit in tow most mornings and I am finding it easier and easier to get the swimming part done. My breath control is looking better and better. I do, however think that either due to new found allergies or exercised enduced athsma I am having major difficulty with my breath control on the later miles of the biking and the running. I am working on that too. I went to Potomac River Running last week and finally got some new running shoes. Oh lord do those things help. I ran the 5k with them and I felt this odd sensation. My shins did not feel like they were going to explode!. The entire race! They dont hurt the morning after either! Hallllllelujah! And guess what .. they are Brooks' shoes. They have to be good then, right? I am very pleased and think this will make a huge difference on race day. I am looking into getting some more gear that will aid my journey to becoming a Triathlete. Gosh that still sounds cool to me. I get so jazzed up sometimes just by thinking that I will be able to have this for the rest of my life. I will be a triathlete. Whether I continue .. my first race {and I will} or not, I get to say I am a triathlete. Probably one of the cooler things I have ever done in my life thus far. I do know that I will continue on because I am planning on signing up with Team In Training {like my roommate Brittany is doing for her Rock'n'Roll San Diego Marathon} and I will be doing the Nation's Triathlon. It is in September and this time the distance is Olympic! I can't wait... oh yes I can. First I have to complete {and kick ass in} this one coming up in a month!
So as progress continues I will continue to blog about it... For now I must go ingest some healthy calories and get my new shoes out in the rain some more!
As my Aunt Jeanne keeps telling me.. Run Forrest Run!

Days on End 4.17.2008

Days on end...
Current mood: adventurous

Here it is nearing the end of April and I am back again to write more. I have just gotten home from a long day of work and each of my days lately seems to be longer and longer. I think mostly because, these days I am in a routine where I am up and off to the gym by 730 or 8am every morning. I get in about a two hour workout and then head home to get showered and eat a hearty meal and actually start my day.. Today I was able to fit in a 15 mile bike and a 2 mile run which feels awful and fantastic at the same time. Some days are easier than others and I can just hop on a bike or strap on some shoes or slip into my suit and go... but some days I feel like I can't possibly finish my triathlon. I shouldn't even try. I should just stick to getting fit and healthy and be satisfied with that. But then something kicks me and says.. "WTF you will NEVER be satisfied with just that." I can't freaking wait to show up on race day and actually kick some ass. Today was one of the better days I've had, especially since last night I ran four miles. I mean this was absolutely UNheard of before I started training. I would have never in a million years thought that I would be putting in 10-15 miles a week on my little feetsies. But here I am.
I have to say one huge aspect of continuing training is that I have told every one of my family members that I am doing it and they are cheering me on. What helps is the change that everyone is able to see in me too. I just feel good all the time now. There is something to be said for excercise. Erin and I were talking and I swear if people only knew what it does for you and how easy it is to get hooked on to fitness this world would be so much better off. Excercise is a miracle drug that most people just don't know about yet. Believe you me I am going to be preaching away about it. People know how I like to preach when I find something I truly believe in. Have you heard me talk about "the secret" ? Hahaha

So lots of things are different right now and I think I am starting to get the hang of it.I've had my ups and downs lately. The whole moving out and finding a place to live process has started again and I remember just why I hate it. Every year I seem to get up and go somewhere else. I want to get settled to some extent. I would like to know that in another 12 months I do not have to pack my shit and get on the road again. My love life is a litle rocky these days and it can really take a toll on me and my mental status but luckily I have the endorphins from exercise to keep me going at times. I miss my best friend more than words can say. She is part of me.. so when we aren't together enough, I feel like I lose a little bit of myself. She is scheduled to return soon though, thank God! And she will return a graduate of Virginia Tech, I am so proud of her! Oh and my mother recently asked me to commute up to Baltimore two days a week in order to help my Step-Grandfather heal from recent surgery and all fo the getting old struggles. He isn't doing well right now so I am not even sure if I will be making those weekly trips but what a thought. To fit into my already crazy schedule I would be in Baltimore two days a week and trying to work as much as possible to make up for those days of work lost. So naturally I figure my current place of employment can't possibly cover that for me. I must get a second or technically third job at this point. Oh gosh that is a frightening thought. If my days seem long now, I cannot imagine what they will be like in the coming weeks when I try to fit in three jobs and triathlon training and trying to start my new business without losing my social life too... oh the stresses of being a 23 year old! When it's bad it ain't that bad and when it's good.. it's freaking amazing. So I take all my complaints back and I am going to enjoy the ride.
I got a new bathing suit for my triathlon and I am in love.It is bright green and bright blue.. it's reversible so I am glad that while I will be in the water, if I start to go down.. there will be enough visibility on me that someone can come save the girl in the bright green bathing suit! Not that that will happen. I just finished a conversation with my aunt and she is super motivating. She is is great shape and a wonderful athlete and just happens to be doing a 50 mile bike ride this weekend.. what an inspiration.. gosh i love my life ...
and I cant wait... hopefully I will have much more to write about my new business venture in the coming blogs.. I am working hard and doing some research to figure out just how to get this thing right. So more to come on that note I promise!
Its almost 10 o'clock and I figure I should probably get something to eat now.

Oh and I have only a few more days until Nicole's 5k in Richmond and I am super excited that I will actually be able to RUN this year... and I know I had always planned on that since starting training but I am at the point right now where I know that I can actually do it.
Staying motivated can be tough at times but other times I find inspiration in each person around me. I have an incredible cheerleading team in the ladies that I work with. They tell me day in and day out how proud they are of me. My family thinks I am crazy and that is all the more reason to keep going because if they think I am normal.. then I must be doing something wrong! My roommate is doing her own feat of amazement in that she will be running the San Diego Marathon. Crazy woman I tell you. So she keeps me motivated too And the more results I see when I look at my ever sculpting body I cant help but get more and more addicted to the way I feel. Freaking good. Now don't get me wrong. I have my days where I feel like I can't get enough sleep even if I slept for 3 days straight and I don't want to move because the weather is just not ideal. So in those moments if any of you have words of wisdom or encouragement, feel free to pass them along. I don't use an IPOD when I train so all I have are my thoughts and to hear someones voice in my head to keep pushing me is a great help!
More to come..
Stay tuned!

Tri training Baby! 3.10.2008

So I am in week 3 of my tri training and I had planned on blogging a little more frequently to document my progress. However week 3 is the first chance I seem to have had to sit down and write. So here it is.
I cant believe how far I have already come in just 3 weeks. I still have 10 weeks to go. I am fueled by the conviction that I am going to have a rocking body by then and that will feed the addiction to fitness and/or mroe triathlons. I am already seeing results... it's crazy.
Though I would like to think that my body didn't have far to go to get into TRI shape. Clearly by the slimming and trimming already in progress I think that the physical aspect is the easiest to measure. But I feel strides ahead of where I was in February. The first time I got into the pool I was convinced that I would need floaties one race day because drowning was iminent. Today I am already able to swim the TRI distance of a half a mile. I am not swimming it very fast but I am working on my form for now. I have got plenty more weeks to hone in on speed.

The cycling aspect was what originally attracted me to the triathlon. I am a bit mroe confident in this portion of the race than anything else. I feel like I could do a Century ride later this summer... which, given some of my family members accomplishments in this field I will have quite a crew to join me should I choose to take on this feat after the triathlon. But back to the task at hand.
The running is going to be BY FAR the most difficult for me to endure. I have hated running for as long as I can remember. I am fueled by competition and back in the days of competitve softball playing I would only run to beat my teammates. I hated every second of it and still even then never ran more than 3 miles. Well that was a while ago. It seemed a mile was just enough to set a flame every msucle in my body. I am quite proud that in just these two weeks I can run two miles! Now I have a milestone that I will need to accomplish before the triathlon. And that is what my last blog was about. The Nicole Megaloudis 5k I am going to run it this year. It is only 3.2 miles but a good point in my training to make sure that I am on track. I plan on running that sucker and freaking kicking ass. That is the one downfall of my training. I am trying desperately to stick to my regimen and not push myself too hard. But I am pretty damn good at getting into my own head and convincing myself that "if you aint first, you're last" -Ricky Bobby's Dad
Obviously that quote stuck with Ricky Bobby and his belief in it led to his downfall. I am trying to keep in mind what Joe Friel { a much more respected athlete with a few more credentials as well} said and that is to set the goal of your first tiriathlon " cross the finish line with a smile on your face" and thats it. Course it would be a lot easier to smile if I was first!! I keep debating taking an IPod to the gym. To distract me and take me out of my head and just let me go. But I feel it is actually one of my strengths. I do not rely on beats or catchy songs to pump me up. I can do it all on my own. Besides you aren't allowed them on race day so why use them now?

Well, I recently celebrated my 23rd birthday. Or as I like to call myself... my Michael Jordan.. I allowed myself a few days of downtime to celebrate with all of the wonderful people in my life! I feel very blessed when this time of year comes around. I got more birthday eve wishes and happy birthday wishes than I can count. I had a fantastic group of friends and family join me for a trip to Dave and Buster's. It doesn't happen very often that I can get most of my siblings together, much less both of my parents in the same room. I was ecstatic and can't thank each and every one of them enough. The gift theme for this year? My triathlon, of course! I got new sports bras, new shorts, dri fit shirts , socks and much more. I am super excited about my moms gift which is a kitchen aid mixer. Who knows what kind of baking I can do with that sucker. I wont be baking for a while though, I have 3 cakes and a cheesecake to give away to those who can eat it. Tri training dictates, cake = bad. And although I allowed myself the few days off. I am back now and no more partying for me. My younger brother turns 21, a few days after St. Patrick's Day. And I had to pick this time to be in training? Dangit bobby. But no more alcohol for me. And especially no more cake.
One important part of my tri training?... sleep. I have not yet gotten a great pattern down of working out in the morning, going to work, then working out some more at night and getting to sleep at a decent hour.
And as the weeks pass, the blogs will come. For now, the sleep is king.
Thank you again to everyone who has already helped to make my 23rd year, my best year yet!

Nicole, My Soul 2.9.2008

Nicole, my soul.
Current mood: calm

Today is the fourth anniversary of one of my best friends passing. There is rarely a day that goes by that I dont think about her. She is an incredible influence on my life. I wear a blue bracelet in her memory and it may not be much but it's what I have left of her. It blows my mind that time goes by so quickly. I can recall the first time I heard about her and who she was and knew instantly that my whole family was going to be a part of hers. Her stepdad coached D.C United and her whole family was a soccer family. Much like my own. Their talents and experience in the soccer world outweighed ours {except my brother Billy's unmatched ability in the sport}, but there was a bond instantly formed between her, her brother and me and mine. Her parents and mine. She was unlike any other friend I have had and I am thankful for that. She was going to make me a better person whether I liked it or not. She just happened to speed up the process the moment she left this earth. She will always be credited with the good I do in this world.

I can't grasp the fact that she is gone and has been for four whole years. Luckily I know that she sits and watches over me. A presence best described as discerning.

She was someone that in life made me think about what kind of person I wanted to be and in death has shaped the person I am. She was 19 years old when mine and many worlds were shattered. I will always remember the gut wrenching day that February 9th turned into for me. She had so much to give, so much talent, so much of everything. It seems unfair that that her youth was filled with potential and yet she wasn't allowed to continue her journey that would have surely changed this world for the better. Fortunately I have found that she is living inside of many people now and has inspired enough people to carry on the good she was going to do. I hope that I can live up the her spirit and pass on what she believed.

Every April there is a 5k fundraiser in her name. Ironic because she was not a runner to say the least. However, the money is raised for the Nicole Megaloudis Foundation. With the funds they raise, scholarships are provided to deserving student athletes. She also had a grand scheme of orphanges in Africa and goodwill across the world. We continue to seek out other places to bestow the magic of Nicole.In a matter of weeks I am going to start fundraising for this event. This year will be different. I have decided to run the 5k. You may ask what I did in years past if not running. I, like Nicole am not much of a runner. I chose year after year to embody her and walk/jog/run/complain until I decided I wanted to stop. This year however, I will run it and I will be reaching out to every resource I have {you all } to raise as much as I can before April 27th.

Her motto was "make it happen" and I recently stumbled upon an incredible quote that will motivate me to stop being a dreamer and be more like Nicole...

"Those who dream by the night in the dusty recesses of their mind. Awake to find that all was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous, for they may act their dreams with open eyes and Make It Happen."

This 5k is only in preparation for the Triathlon I plan to compete in later this year. More on that later!

I will leave you with the poem I wrote the day after Nicole Marie Megaloudis left this world and became my guardian angel.

My angel

I can't seem to shed anymore tears
but believe me I am crying
I hope you had no fears
while you laid there all alone and dying
You've finally gotten your wings
and now your soaring above
I'll remember your smile among many things
but mostly your whole hearted love
If you thought I missed you then
it's nothing compared to now
I'll eventually get back to life again
although I really can't see how
I now have an angel and I am glad its you
I knew you were bound for heaven but I never thought so soon
Our friendship is best described as true
and I'll think of you everytime the sun fades for the moon
You were my girl with that damn ponytail
and you could play soccer pretty well
Always there with words of wisdom, you'd never fail
What I am trying to say is I love you Nicole, if you couldn't tell.

Goodbye 2007.. helllo 2008! 1.7.08

Goodbye 2007.. helllo 2008!
Current mood: anxious

Here it is a day when I dont have to get up and go to work and I am online at 7am posting my very first blog. I write a ton and I cannot believe this is the first time I am sitting down writing a blog. Anyway, The first week of 2008 has come and gone and I am now starting my brithday countdown... just 2 more months people... get ready. I have a genius plan for my birthday which is sure to go up in flames and turn into another disasterous birthday where I am all alone and another year older. But here's to hoping 23 was as good as 22 is and was.
My lucky number is 2 and or two two's {22}.. so I think this year HAD to be good, seeing as though I dont really remember the greatness that year number 2 brought me. However I have got a lot of great things in my life right now,so 2008 can only get better.
2007 brought me... a big move.. about a half a mile from my dad's house to a townhouse with my lovely roommates. It also brought me a little closer to the fact that my 9 year old brother will be surpassing me in height in a short while. During all of 2007 I got to experience an amazing job. Zazu has changed my attitude on life and a lot of the ways that people see me. I would now use the word "zazooey" to describe myself and oh what an adjective that is!!!!! I got to get in on the ground level of a budding company that could quite possibly take over the world with all of the talent that is put to use inside the walls of Zazu. I got to go on a buying trip to Atlanta to see first hand what it is like to own and run a successful store like Zazu... so we shall see in due time whether I am part of a massive overtaking of the world with the rest of my creative crew... It also brought me my wonderful boyfriend. He continues to amaze me everyday with his work as a firefighter and EMT. He is a big teddy bear underneath his rugged good looks and mountain man attitude. He is also helping me find that I have a sensitive side as well.... who knew? I was never a relationship person before but he swept me off my feet.. and now I may be addicted to love.. or maybe just Nature Boy.
With all of the blessings that have already been bestowed upon me how can I imagine that life could get better? Well, I read The Secret... as many of you know since I have been preaching it to anyone who will listen. And all I know is that if I believe it, it will happen and God do I believe 2008 is going to be a year to remember!

BeeTeaDub.... I want to throw up with all the news of engagements and weddings.. oh congratulations but how is it possible that everyone and their mom got engaged and/or married in the last month.? And I am well aware that I will condradict myself if that fateful day ever comes for me... but for now, the newly relationshipped brooke is holding her barf bag!