Friday, April 10, 2009

*Updated*Somebody get the manager please...

Who the hell invented the internet? And why the hell are they punishing me?

I recently moved. I think I spoke of this lovely venture that I tend to do every 10-12 months... yeah. About that.

Oops we forgot to think ahead and plan for cable and internet to be set up within the first week of moving in.

I'm dying.

I have NO cable. Meaning the two new episodes of The Office last night? Yeah this girl didn't get to see them. I'm seriously dying people.

I have no internet. So I am at the library right now. Did you just read that?

Library. (or Lybarry if you are cool)

When is the last time you were in a library?

So this is just to tell you that there is much more to be said in the TRI-UMPH bloggy blog but FIOS has decided that reading books and being productive for 3 plus weeks is actually fun.
(they're wrong by the way. Dead wrong)

...stay tuned.

Only two more days until the Fios people come and send my roommate and I back into the 21st century. Then I will be able to get back to some semblance of my normal routine. I know there are people waiting with baited breath. Thanks for waiting. I swear it will be worth it. I've had quite an adventurous two weeks since the cable and internet guys crushed my dreams and told me I have to.. GASP.. wait for something...dangsies.
Come to think of it they even have rooms dedicated to waiting. I would have NEVER survived in any other generation than the one I'm living in currently.And even now thigns just aren't fast enough for me. Awesome, I just came to the realization that I'm a spoiled effing brat. Eh well.

I hope you guys are coming to as many life altering conclusions while I make you wait.

...stay tuned!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Cops go hardcore at the end of the month, Me, I tend to ease up a bit.

I don't know if this counts as a real post. I am just consumed by random effing thoughts right now that I must share them. I apologize in advance. Especially because I am not one of those self loathing bloggers who apologizes for shit they write and then looks for pity.

Wait Stop Don't.You are actually gonna love this.
So let me try that again.

I'm full of freaking genius today and I cannot contain it in one thought process. So here I will give you all of them. Some people call that babbling, but as the joke goes...(my name is brooke. think about it.)

Musings of a Twenty Something:

**18 year old boys smell freaking delicious.

Well I don't really think eating the smell of Abercrombie is what I want. I want tons of half naked Abercrombie models running around, but I digress.
One young man got up from a table tonight right as I was walking by and I got a whiff. Mmmmm. Guys my age and older don't wear that crap anymore.The last time I probably smelled it was the last time I dated an 18 year old. Sooo like, in highschool. It does smell good...but it is laced with the smell of youth as well.
(and we all know how much I love younger guys. not.)

When the hell did I become the 24 year old who kind of feels dirty for thinking this way anyway?Dangsies!

** Tonight I rested my boobs on the bar, on command.

I am getting promoted.(those two statements don't seem to go together, but they do I promise.) Again. (within 7 months of working there, soon I will pretty much take over the world, yeah I'm effing that awesome)

Anyhowzer, They want me (or my C cups rather) to bartend!
Had I been asked 6 months ago, I would have refused. I am not cut out to be the schmoozy floozy. Which is pretty much necessary to be a bartender.
I think I can manage to avoid being sleazy behind the bar at JobOne (formerly JobTwo)

Plus it only opens up a world of opportunity, financially it is so much smarter to be a bartender. The tips far outweigh that of a server. So my grand plan is to train for the next few weeks. Revamp my server schedule to beef up the Captain shifts and then get a few bar shifts and the rest of the time start working at the new JobTwo.
(more on that later)

**I can tie a knot in a cherry stem. (and I'm not just trying to be like the Flobots)

People think it is impossible. I was one of those people until tonight. I was especially determined tonight. My younger sister has always been able to do it.
And now I can add that on my list of qualities that mean absolutely nothing about me but am sure to tell someone within five minutes of sitting at a bar next to them.

**I thought I was an animal lover until I met my new roommate.

She has.. drum roll please...

2 cats.(Gross, they better not pee anywhere "in or around the coat area")

1 rabbit.. that's fine. I think.(My one rabbit that I owned was actually a bunny, the difference is their size. Mine dies of the sniffles. An actual ailment known to cause death in bunnies. Look it up.)

1 Snake. Gasp! I actually like snakes but most people freak out about that one.

and 3 (count them, three) Sugar Gliders.
WTF is a sugar glider? The closest comparison I can offer you is a flying squirrel. Which is completely inaccurate. However it's a good visual to have. Though squirrels are not nocturnal and sugar gliders are. (making them all the more weird as a pet because she keeps them in her closet.)

Yeah, I am moving in with Ace freaking Ventura.

...stay tuned.