Thursday, November 27, 2008

Fake Shit.

I can't get my life together enough to do a real post.
For shit's sake I am currently on the West River. This place is more backasswards than going in reverse.

So happy thanksgiving everyone. I am not texting you all. And don't expect one on Christmas either!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Brookie Brooke Meet Doppleganger.

I am pretty sure I have used the word doppleganger before. And possibly incorrectly.

I don't care. I still won't look it up to see if I am using it any more correct in this post. So don't check. Cuz I don't care.


I was out on Thursday night and ran into a woman I have heard about. All I had heard, was her connection to this crazy guy who comes into JobOne and asks us to wrap these SUPER expensivo presents he's purchased for his GF.

Side note: we don't do gift wrapping at JobOne. But he's all weird and we can usually get him to spend a couple-a bucks in the store so we do it for him. Twice a year. Valentine's Day and her birthday. I guess on Christmas he finds some other sucker to wrap his crap. Probably in the mall. Poor mall workers.

Or maybe the thing he buys are like big shiny Mercedes, so he just puts those huge ass bows on them. Who knows. Either way, he is weird, she dates him. Or did. Or does. Or doesn't now again, but soon will again.

This girl and I, we started talking. She is a tiny little bundle of energy. So right away I already see that we are similar. ( My lack of her super creep ex separates us enough, but kind of worries me about my future as soon as I realize she and I are similar) As we start talking we discover eerily similar things about each other.

She's a Pisces. Not that weird but when you can pin point one from just a conversation... A little weird.And mind you, I know almost nothing about the Astrologizzle stuff. Then as we discuss the men in our lives, the ones that we can't let go of. They are both Virgos. And something in us tells us that deep connection we feel can totally be translated into a fulfilling relationship.

Guess what?! It doesn't. It can't. It won't. If she is any indicator of that, 8 years back and forth with a real live "crazy" is not the path I want to continue on.

Then she says there is this guy who she hasn't given a chance for some reason. For years he has asked her out. Great guy. She is now giving him a chance. He is a pisces as well. Weird.

I swear we were talking about one person. We described our brothers and our relationships with them. Yup, still one person.

Only she was 20 years older than myself.

Note to self: don't be her then, okay to be her now at 23. Not at 43. Divorced with two kids and still effing around with the "wrong" guy.

No thank you.

So I'm pretty sure I got my little vision of the future. Now I just need to figure out how to avoid it. Or kind of. Cuz she's all successful and cute and fun still. So I can still be like her in that aspect.

Or maybe she has nothing to do with my life and it all gets chalked up to coincidence!

To tell you the truth, I'm a little delirious. I woke up at 6am to work an event, a 5k in the blistering windy cold. I am now at JobOne. Only to finish there midday and move on to JobTwo. Maybe I will be home by midnight. Maybe.

Then wake up bright and early to go right back to JobTwo.

Can't someone just pay me enough to work one job? Or is that two much to ask? Being a college dropout and all.


...stay tuned.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Role Models

I had to share this with all two of you. I went to see the movie Role Models over the weekend and I loved it. Though it doesn't take much to make me laugh, this is hilarious.


...stay tuned.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

It's too cold to take my pants off.

Holy frigid weather Batman.

The ex texted me last night. "How are you? Staying Warm?"
He knows the answer. Of course I am not staying warm! It is fricken freezing out now. Even snow flurries. Gross.

My thoughts are always as such; If the snow doesn't cover the ground and get me out of work, I want nothing to do with it.
So last night as I was getting ready for bed I realized. It is too damn cold to take my pants off.

Be damned Cosmopolitan writers who say that it isn't sexy to go to bed in 3 layers of sweatpants and a sweatshirt with long black socks on. Under blankets galore and maybe a beanie if necessary. I am hot in more ways then one when I go to bed!

And this is where San Diego comes into play. I've got Tia over there enjoying the Cali kinda weather in November and she's complaining about it. Ungrateful warm weather bitch! (totally kidding Tia, we should trade homes so you can wear your pea coat and I can stop crying)

Granted the SoCal plans are in the very early planning stages but I saw something in the stars aligning when 4 or 5 of my people started talking about doing the travel to Europe thing and then going to SoCal. Really people? Why didn't any of you follow me to L.A. the first time? I could have really used a friend out there, being 19 and on the opposite coast of everyone I knew.

But I'll let bygones be bygones. And now I am thinking about moving to San Diego. Where Cosmo most assuredly writes from because I can totally understand not going to bed in sweatpants out there! But while I'm on the right coast, I am sticking with my super warm 4 dollar target blankets. A possible space heater purchase in the future. And all of my sexy ass sweatpants!

..stay tuned

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Money Talks

I had a conversation with my money this weekend.

It wasn't too happy with being put into my drawer at home instead of in a bank. So it complained a lot about being squished into my wallet on my way down to North Carolina. My money is really finicky. It likes the roominess of a stable bank account where it can just chill and hang out until it can be really useful.

A nice thought. But not practical. I need that shit to work for me. Start doing push ups or something.

So as the conversation went, it had decided that I was 150 dollars too rich.
Yeah?! Me? Rich? Interesting take. I disagreed for a while and said I needed to save more. All I wanted was Andrew Jackson to keep multiplying and just see how many of them I could stuff into one drawer. They didn't take to kindly to that.

So off I went, with a few extra Benjamins than I normally would have taken. I spent pretty wisely. Only 3 cranberry vodkas on Friday. Saturday was spent at Plato's Closet and watching Role Models.(effing hilarious, beeteadub)

Sunday I just drove two hours south and went to see my sister. One margarita and one loss of the Ravens later and I wasn't spending any more money.

And this is where money talks.
It said"did you hear me?I said you were $150.00 too rich!"
Me: "Yeah, I spent some money this weekend. Money that I would have normally saved. And I took off from work so I lost money there too"
Money: "Still not enough."

and second later my left rear tire blew out. On highway 81.

No shock, no worry, no real surprise. My money and my car must have formed an alliance. Long ago. They decided every time I get on my feet and start to get control of my finances, they were going to make sure I knew how high maintenance they really were.

Thanks guys. This is the fourth. Yup, fourth tire that has blown out, or gone flat since I have had my car. Did I mention I've only owned this car for 4 years?
Is that even possible? I would love to rattle off the laundry list of things that my car has also done to prove to me it's still there and I would be no where without it.
But that would probably just piss her off enough to eff with me again sometime soon.

I took preventative measures and bought TWO new tires. I should be good now right?
Oh please Bessy, last me until I move to San Diego (more on that later). I beg of you.

...stay tuned.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Rules of the Road.

On my way to North Carolina today... oh yeah I forgot to mention that this weekend will be filled with my bestie best friend ever. I drove to see her. I coudln't stand it anymore.
The drive was less than 5 hours, so not too bad. Unless you count the countless idiots on the road. Which is a stupid statement because they cant be counted if they are countless but to try would be enough to frustrate you the way I was.

So to all the people on the road today:

Guy who drove the same pace as me for 30 miles creepily smiling at me:
You are asinine, what could possibly come from driving next to me for that long. Would I be wooed by your eerie looks and suddenly decide to follow you down whatever exit you took and we would stop at a rest stop and live happily ever after? Yeah likely story. Just like the one you told the cops about you not killing that local girl. Mmmhmm.

Kid who I used to go to high school with:
Freaking look at me when I am waving at you. I know you saw me. Who doesn't look out their windows when they are driving? You are like the complete opposite of creepy other guy who wouldn't stop staring at me. Just one look over to your left so I can feel less insane. Thanks.

Woman at whom I yelled:
I apologize for yelling. I also apologize for assuming you are a woman. But you were driving like a freaking woman. All slow and turning without a blinker. Ya killing me lady.

Winshield wipers:
thanks for not working.again. in the rain. 'nuff said.

All the people who chatted with me on the cellular:
Thanks for letting me fool you into believing that I cared what you were saying when in reality the kinda time you can kill on the road while in a conversation is priceless. Thanks for being a trooper. I fully expect you to be there again on the way back on Monday.

State Policeman:
Hey thanks. Thanks a lot. For getting up behind everyone in the left lane and making them freak out and think you were coming after them so they drove wildly out of your way. Thereby creating more of a driving hazard than their original speed violation. Thanks again. But know this. You didn't fool me. You weren't coming after me and I knew it. So suck on that copper cuz I wasn't going to slow down for you! Ha!

All other drivers:
Hear me now. I want you out of my way when I am on the same road as you. Simple as that.

K tttthhhaaannkkksss!

Now I am off to recreate Fabulous Fridays North Cackalacky style!!!

...stay tuned!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Google got it right.

So you know that version of email. I think it's gmail that won't let you send an email unless you do simple arithmetic problems first. Thereby limiting the number of drunk people sending regrettable emails.

Yeah, well I have that function built into my brain.

Only with texts. And I am not even drunk.

Here's the quick back story. The ex (and he is only the ex because I don't date and he is pretty much the only real ex I have) and I were texting back and forth ALL day today. Weird, we have an interesting relationship still. We are still friends. And by friends I mean people who can send dirty or inappropriate texts to each other and talk about a very short bit of our lives at the moment and then not talk again for weeks or even months.

Last time we saw each other was the first time since we had for real broken up. We pretend broke up for a few weeks and then for real broke up and then we got together and it was stupid. I thought I was going to be buying him a drink for his birthday and he thought I was going to be there an hour and a half earlier. (Men!)

(what miscommunication, I don't know what you are talking about?!)

We hung out for 10 awkward seconds and then walked away. He texted me immediately about how good I looked...yeah, I wish I could have said it was effortless but I knew what kinda moment it was going to be and whatever happened he needed to know that I either looked good despite him and our relationship ending or looked good and he could maybe remember what he was missing out on.Not sure which one I had intended on that night.

Either way, today we spent a long time cracking jokes with each other and at one point he down right flirted with me. I never thought I would see this day.
Wait, I don't even know what day this is. The day where the ex reminds you of why you two did date? Or the day you realize you haven't dated anyone since him for a reason? Or the day you think you've lost your mind because you two still talk in the first place.

...Okay so I have to tell the truth. I started writing this, then talked to my conscious a.k.a. Beauty of Beauty and the Beast. She convinced me to text him tonight. To text him and see what he was doing. Because somewhere in my brain I wanted to drive to go see him and see what would happen. Secretly hoping for a specific outcome. I have no guts. But she convinced me. Just last week she tried to get me to come with her to the same region of MD to see her "one that got away". At 2 in the morning. I didn't go.
She did.

She is cooler than me.
Now I texted him. And now he wants me to call him. So I gotta go.

...stay tuned.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Holy Shit!Mom? What are you doing here?

OH that's right. There is only one person in this mirror, and it is me. Good trick Mom.

One of my 100 truths is that I am turning into my mother.

Everything I have ever witnessed and made comment to : Like her inability to cut her super gorgeous, super long flowing hair, or anything quirky related to having 3 feet of pin straight long brown hair.Using my hand at the top of my head and flipping it to the side, any sudden movements and people around you saying, "get your hair off me!" Yup. Got it. I want to cut my hair but I love that no one around me has hair like mine.

Luckily another aspect of my mother that has been passed down is her generosity. I love my hair but I want other people to enjoy it. That's why I've donated it before and will again. I want to donate my hair at least 10 times in my life. If it keeps growing at this pace then that should be easy peasy.

Or like her body, no butt but strong legs. ( I used to leg wrestle an old boyfriend and I could hold my own!)

Or like her face that shows her age but in a delicate way, you know she's lived life, a few wrinkles to prove she's laughed along the way but she still looks damn good for her age. I see that "life" creeping in, I am only 23 and I can only pray my face can withstand the way I laugh. (it's more of a cackle)

And it's not Mother's Day or anything, but last night as I combed my hair. Which only happens once in a blue moon. (Long hair = lazy. Duh.) I watched her, with every brush stroke I felt more like her than myself.

And I couldn't help but do a double take. I swear my mother was standing on the other side of that mirror. I don't have any qualms about becoming her clone though. I admire her greatly (but it is freaking weird to experience it). I know the science behind it all, but it still blows my mind.
(The science being that we are kinda genetically linked, the whole mother/daughter thing, she has x chromosomes I have x chromosomes, she has traits that have been passed to me. Blah Blah Blah. Just in case you were wondering. Science was totally my thing, before I dropped out of college... dangsies)

So here's to you Mom. And though I have got some traits that certainly don't come from you. Like the desire to have a cocktail or twelve every now and then. Or the fact that my voice can reach decibels most humans have never fathomed. Or that I cannot stand to not be right. All. the. time. (It's not usually a problem though, being always right and all) Those I clearly get from my father. And to pay homage to my x chromosome that came from him, well this post would have taken a whole different tone.

So Mom,
I can't wait to be you.

...stay tuned!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Oh no she di int.

Lucky me.
My birthday is in March.

And before St. Patrick's Day and all people claim their 1/3000th Irish heritage and become obliterated beyond belief and forget that conciousness is an option.Thusly missing any other events around that time. Like a birthday.

Lucky me, my birthday is not New Years Day like a co worker of mine who also wakes up to find everyone around her barely out of their "this year is totally going to suck less!" champagne and fake hopes and dream induced comas.

Lucky me, my birthday is not Christmas Eve, like my Mother's. There was one rule in my house growing up. DO NOT under any circumstances wrap her birthday present with Christmas paper. She wouldn't even open it. Poor woman. I mean freaking Jesus was born just a day later than her so she gets shafted on how many gifts she gets. Not fair.

So that leads me to today. When in walks a sweet woman who hemmed and hawed over gifts. I try and I try to help these people. I am a super great gift giver.

Okay so every now and then I am overcome with my disease that forces me to get someone something I am totally convinced they want but may or may not have hinted at, at all. It usually ends up fine. ( I swear my brother loves the buddha head decor) Other than those rare moments I try really hard to put together thoughful gifts for everyone on my list.

And I even somehow manage to add people who were never on the list. I mentioned I work at a super cute boutque-y gift store right? Yeah, gift giving is totally my thing.

This lady hands me two items and tells me to wrap them together. Done.
WAIT?! What? It is a birthday present? Not Christmas? You are sure?

And this persons birthday is coming up?

WHATTTT?! I wanted to lean over the counter and whisper: "hey assface, there is no DAMN way she wants this right now! How about you wait until effing Thanksgiving is over before you shove Santy Claus down her freaking throat which has nothing to do with her being born. At all. Unless she is a believer of God and then somehow it's tied together but I digress"

But this whole recession thingy has me to the point where I no longer help these people pick out gifts that I have an opinion about. If they are buying things, it is okay by me! An embroidered baby blanket that says "Body Sculpt Baby" referencing a new born who is now to be called the name of her mother's place of employment. Oh absolutely do it!

Then she says "oh well, she probably has more christmas things that she can shake a stick at"

And it took all of me to not lean over and whisper the previous phrase to her but not grabbing her collar and shaking her violently was tremendous self restraint.

(I am not an advocate of this phrase but...)

Why would I shake a stick at things? And what does that have to do with how much I have of said things? Really? Who says that?
Don't answer that. If you do, I don't want to know about it. Because I will no longer like you. Seriously, one of the dumbest things I have ever heard.

Why is it okay to give these other holiday related gifts to people before the holiday is upon us. Why stop there? Why not go out and on the day after christmas snatch up all the goodies people didn't want and give them as gifts for the rest of the year?

For the people with a birthday in June, you are totally getting way expired egg nog and some googly eyed reindeer slippers.

And you will like it.

But like I said. She bought something. So judge not lest ye be judged.

But she was totally effing crazy.

..stay tuned!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Limbo. And not the good kind.

Not that there really is a good kind of limbo. Being a shorty limbo was always looked at like it had to be my thing. Right?I'm supposed to be good at this because my entire body's length doesn't quite pass your hips? No. Not the case. Spare me the oompa loompa reference and let's play a real game.

Anyway. I am in a crazy bit of limbo. Life Limbo. I pretty much get here every 8-12 months. It's fun you should try it. Here's how I do it. I live like a single 23 year old with no savings and incidentally I end up like a single 23 year old with no savings! Weird how that happens right?

I am so ready to do what I know I am supposed to be doing.There are glass ceilings and as much as I love Willy Wonka (the original) I do not have any sort of magic sideways moving, glass shattering elevator that can take me wherever I want to go. ( God would I love to live in that land.But NOT as an Oompa, I already told you that! I want to be Veruca Salt. Or maybe Charlie without the creepy family and the bypassed sexual deviance of one Gene Wilder.)

I figured out my calling a couple months back. Well about a year ago. I got a bit of planning done when the economy looked me straight in the face and said "beat this" . And I've been left helpless ever since.

Aw shit. I told you it aint playing fair. Like we are playing war (the card game, not for real war cuz I just made a peace sign cake that says "Make cake not war"!) and it comes time to flip over that third card( you know the part where your war cards tie and you face down three cards and the third one is the new war card)... The first two were Aces. So in my head I think " sweet if I just beat this third one then I will get two Aces, I'm unstoppable then".
Nope that slimy economy straight up pulled out a third Ace and beat my 7. Sure a lot of other cards beat my seven. But another Ace? No way. Gotta be cheating.

When I was a kid I would just flip all of my cards in the air and shout "cheater!" and I would have been done. Not now. I realize the stakes are more than just bragging rights with my siblings. This is life and I want all 52 damn cards! So I don't care how long this GD game takes..

My plan has now been to better my third card. Behind the scenes. Play the game of war a bunch more and get the decked stacked in my direction. To where I can bust out some face cards and kick the economy's ass. I just gotta wait until the stacks are a little more even. You know when I have maybe, oh I don't know, the ability to afford HEALTH INSURANCE. ( I haven't even mentioned the fifth and sixth wisdom teeth growing in my mouth. Yup you heard me. Got 4 removed two years ago. Now I got two more. NOT fair I tell you.)

So in the mean time I have taken up writing.(I've always been a writer, but just recently discovered the idea of actually doing something with the 10,000 poems, or lyrics or short stories that I write.)

Not only here on this blog (which is sure to gain me immediate infamy and tons of fortune to follow right?)but I am also writing children's books. While working two jobs I can't say that I am really writing them so much as scribbling down my ingenious text hoping that when I am finished I can look up and say "A book!"

and then a publisher will look at me and say "I want it!"
And then I will say "Okay that'll be a million dollars"
And then they will say "Done, now write some more!"

and then it will be a happy little circle that goes like that until I keel over.

and then I wont have to find myself attracted to 30 something men who are already well off and could take care of me. Sugar Daddies? Not for me. Unless that circle doesn't happen and then I might just have to actually date one of the men I keep consuming all my time with.

In the mean time it is Friday and I am sure it won't be another version of Fabulous Fridays (because those have tapered off and I die a little on the inside each week now that I have a new digital camera to capture all of it's glory.) But a Friday none the less. So off I go to try to figure out what conclusion job two came to about whether they are willing to give the employees free drinks or not. Because that will hugely affect whether I go to job two to drink or brother's job one. Because that is where I met cute 39 year old. (who incidentally now knows he is on my blog. Crap! ) But mostly because that is where BFF brother works and can get the hook up. I'm working both jobs tomorrow and am sure to disappear again until Tuesday or something. I apologize to my four followers. (I freaking love all of you!)

...stay tuned!

**Update** As much as I would like to believe I am a super cute fearless person (wait, I do whole heartedly believe the first part!). Bits of this post have been edited or removed. I apologize for the extreme vagueness throughout the post and the crazy card game analogy( I let you inside my head for God's sake, it can't all be pretty and sensical and shit.) but I have yet to find a creative way to post about real life events without getting my ass in trouble.It's not like Dooce. has taught me nothing!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

You couldn't possibly want another election related post. You do? Good. Here it is. My one and only.

It's not like there isn't plenty of election coverage right now. So I will not spout about who or what I believe in and how or why I went about choosing my candidate. But I am proud to say this country has elected it's first black president. It shows growth and to me a sense of one-ness. Because I too am part black.

Wait. I lied. I occasionally get mistaken for an African American when I hit the beaches. I also get mistaken for a person of Asian decent. Due to my almond shaped eyes or something like that. I'm not sure. But what I am trying to say is that I relate with the peeps. And so does GObama. So although my father is sad to see his reflection. (rich old white man) not get the incumbents seat, I am proud to be an American today.

But you know what I figured out.

I am much less confrontational than I remember myself to be.

That is a huge statement for me. Because most people would say my five foot stature does not do my personality justice. Brutal honesty is not something you can go about delicately, hence the first word being brutal. I don't tend to make friends by being quiet and bashful. I get loud and sometimes verbally abusive (if you are rooting for a team I don't care for) and the people that are left in the wake. The people that have survived. They tend to be okay with being my friend.

As I usually spout my daily amount of jibber jabber I tend to piss off a person or twelve. Just part of my daily routine. Nothing new for me. When the election was barely on the horizon it was such easy fodder for me to go back and forth with anyone. Truly I played devil's advocate and vouched for each candidate just to test other peoples beliefs. As it came closer to the actual day (today) I got a little more protective. I had decided on who my man was.

I did not want to share that with anyone. I no longer wanted to fight. I knew what I believed in and I wanted no one to sway that. I even got a little upset when a campaigner of my future baby daddy... I MEAN my future presidential vote getter came to my door to talk to me about campaigny type crap. I didn't ask her who she was voting for. Nor did I care. Now go home woman. (And for god's sake knock over some lawn signs on the way out will ya?)

The beauty of an election is watching the results knowing that you were part of it but in no way did your one vote decide the race. So a friend of mine who once had a conversation with me that almost came to blows, he and I called a truce. We vowed not to get into it all. Every time. I wish that everyone could do that. I still don't want to talk about it. I have no desire to rub in my elected official. I am also not gonna sulk about a parties fall from grace.

It's not as if I picked the Steelers to trounce the Redskins. And bet on it. (I mean we all knew that was gonna happen, and I should have bet cuz I could have won some money) But it's nothing to brag about.

So congratulations to every American who voted today. And congratulations to our candidates and our country who will really reap the rewards of our actions.

And for you lazy asses who didn't vote. ( and there are a shit load more of you who I am fully surprised to know about) You all need to buck up and stop claiming ignorance as a reason why you didn't vote. Get off your ass and learn something about candidates and make a choice. There is no right or wrong.

Just who is cooler and picks the right party who gets the most votes and totally wins and has the most friends and stuff.

Oh wait that was high school.


...stay tuned.

Monday, November 3, 2008

"Some days I'm your super bitch"

Today is Monday. It took me a good 20 minutes while waking up this morning to figure that out. I also didn't know that it was daylight savings yesterday. Don't judge

So even though it doesn't feel like the weekend is over to me let me try to capture in a few short (I'm already lying to you, it won't be short) words what my roller coaster of a weekend entailed.

Day one: also known as Friday. Disguised as Halloween. I bought a new digital camera finally. And because of my rash behavior I purchased one I wasn't super crazy about because the one I wanted was only offered in a putrid green yellow color.

Seriously Best Buy?
You offer the normal colored ones online, but the one in the store had to be shiny puke color?

Then it's time to get dressed and at the last minute I changed my outfit. I think this was where I went right. So genuisly right. (pictures to come) I may need to remind you that I was the Orbit Lady. I show up to job #2 in costume as they were having a costume party.30 minutes in, I pretty much have the entire restaurant coming up to me and saying terrible curse words in order to get me to say

"dirty mouth?"
"Clean it up!"
"For a good clean feeling, no matter what"
and lastly

All said in a perfectly inflected accent. I was a hit. They loved me.

And this is where I went so wrong. I should have stayed. Instead I went to my brothers place where they too were having a party. They moved the party to a nearby bar in which I have complete and utter disdain for now because I didn't win the costume contest. It's not that I didn't win that got me, because there was one guy dressed as a soccer trophy. He could have totally beaten me and I would have been fine. He was all gold. (ALL of him) with a soccer ball stuck to his foot and when he struck a pose it was genius (have I over used that word yet?)

But we both lost to



Really people?

You are that easy?

Look at the ingenuity and the time and effort it took for our costumes. Hers? It took a whole five seconds to throw on a skirt and a blazer and put some glasses on and put her hair half up. I may or may not be a little bitter. Because guess how many Sarah Palin costumes there were this year. Well scientifically I don't know but I am estimating at least 3 billion people went as her. Men and women. Too easy. Yup I'm bitter.

After that we went back to my brothers place and all hell started to break loose. My emotions ran the gamut while I was there. It ended with me leaving at 3 am to drive home all teary eyed. The details will be spared, but let's just say at 25 years old if you become a different person when you drink. You need to stop drinking.

So, no prize money and no happy ending (not that kind you sicko.)
Halloween was a bust.

Day two: Also known as Saturday.
I was in a weird mood, because of the events that transpired just a few hours earlier I couldn't seem to shake the somber feeling that came over me. I drove to work and almost burst into tears (almost is the key word.)My mind was racing and no smile was to be found. It didn't help that in the midst of the drama the night before I also had one of my buddies ( guy I've talked to for years, jokingly and seriously for YEARS) tell me that he was for real in love. With me.

Um what? My first answer is always.. Don't do that. I can figure myself out (no I can't who am I kidding) when I fall in love and all that nonsense but I sure as hell cannot pick up the pieces if someone else falls in love. With me. That just throws me for one hell of a loop. I know not what to do or say. I just feel bad for the person. I think I am the last person you would want to fall in love with.

...and scene!

Let me reel myself back in before we get all smooshy ooey gooey. So as my mind was racing, in walks my good friends Beauty and the Beast. They are my super pair at work. I like them a lot. They keep me sane and laughing. They walk in, plain clothed and I am instantly jealous that I am not them. I continue working while they wait for me. Oh I didn't tell you? Saturday was the last night for the Haunted Forest. These suckers were going and they were waiting until I got off so I could go with them.

I freaking love these people. Crisis over. Smiles were instantly found and I busted my ass to get out of work.

Off we go. And a scare or two was had while in the forest. My night(weekend) was instantly better. Then we went to Sheetz and got late night food. It couldn't have been any better than that. We all drove away with a full belly and a happy ending. (again, not that kind!!)

Day three. Also known as Sunday. Wrapped in football and a Brunch shift.
I don't mind Sundays because working brunch is kind of easy.

What would have been nice is if someone told me that it was Daylight Savings and that I was supposed to turn my clocks back. Yeah. A memo or something would have been nice. Cuz guess who showed up an hour early to work that day? Yup, this girl.

Once I got off work, I had brunch. It was glorious as I tell all of our patrons even though I haven't had it before yesterday. (they don't know that) Now it was time to watch football and veg out all day. The problem is , with my team I have a slight phobia slash obsession. I believed that if I watched my Ravens on the TV that we would lose. If I listened to them on the radio. We won. So I made a quick stop to my brothers work to say hi and see a few minutes of the game. I had been listening on the radio so far and we were winning so I couldn't do any damage whilst in the bar for just a few minutes.


The Browns came back to tie it up. We again went up and then they tied it up again. I got my stuff and was ready to walk out the door. The Browns fan next to me was not okay with this. He convinced me to stay. Against every fiber of my being I stayed. (He was super cute and fun to talk to so not EVERY fiber I guess)

After painstakingly going down 14 points my team rallied. Just as I screamed at the TV that they would.( I am totally in control while watching my team!)

Oh did I mention the cute guy to my left was 39, totally hitting on me and recently divorced with kids. I didn't? Well I don't think I should have to anymore. I think you (my readers) should assume this by now.

And after a couple hours of sitting there,and him worrying that my brother was going to chop his balls off for doing so (my brother works there and has known this guy for years) It was time to go. Or he said so. We had already exchanged numbers and he had already told me every dirty little secret about himself. ( shots will do that, even to a big man like him.) Including the "kinda over" girl he was dating that showed up. Yeah that was fun. Luckily my loud mouth had made friends elsewhere in the bar by then.

Night ended and I may or may not have had a dream about him. Did I also mention he is a stock broker who drives a 125,000 dollar car? Man I'm sorry for leaving these important details out. Just kidding,that is SO not an important detail. But the super cute thing is, he bet my brother that if the Ravens won (and we knew they would!) that he could drive his 4 billion dollar car on a date. Cute 39 year old wasn't looking for anything in return should the Ravens lose (and we knew they wouldn't) So little bro has to find a hot girl to match the sweet ass car he gets to take on a date and I broke the curse of not being able to watch my team on television and now we have a date to meet up every Sunday and demoralize each other depending on whom we are rooting for.

And now we are on
Day Four: also known as Monday or Karaoke night.
And this is why the title of my post is that. I have to learn all the words to the Christina Aguilera song. We've chosen to make that our song tonight.I cannot wait!

more to come I promise because as I said before. My weekend isn't over.

..stay tuned.