Freak my freak.

I am having a moment.
I am completely freaking out.

One of those moments where you know no one is watching but the smile is plastered on your face. Tears well up and you don't know what to do. Your insides are all squirmy and you feel you may pass our from sheer excitement.

Right now. Having that moment.

I just got an invite that suggests that one of my oldest (in length of knowing her, not age) friends is preggers. Ew. Did I just say preggers?

Anyway, there are about 8 girls in our close little group. We range in geographical location from Pennsylvania down to North Carolina to California right now but once upon a time we all lived near each other. From the dorms to off campus housing at VT. This particular friend I have actually been friends with since freshman year of high school.

Girl got married two years ago. Besides that blowing my mind, she said she was sending us a little something. We all got messages on Facebook and we were going back and forth asking her what it was. We suggested motherhood but she laughed at us. (since I've known her she has said she wasn't having kids 'til 26.) She is barely 23.

And that girl is totally pregnant. I have no one else to share it with though. I live about 30 minutes from her so I got the invite first. I almost flipped my lid.


This is how the Facebook chat went with all of us...

Mom to be: Hey guys - can you all message me with your address... somewhere I can send something in the next week?? Thanks :)

Jugs:
yay mail!.. (writes her address)(from Pennsylvania)


Hart of Hearts...(address blah blah blah) and miss you all! (from North Cackalacky)


Bethel Bananas
hiii...(sends her address) all the way in California...miss you!

Bestie Best: ..writes her address, and says her hellos to all of us.

Me:
are you gonna send someone to kidnap us all so we can all finally be in the same place at the same time? Cuz I will just go willingly!

..after being funny, I write my address too


Shitty: (yes that is a real nickname that she answers to)
heyyy guyss..sorry i was out of town this weekend.
miss you all! .. includes her postal info.

Mom to be:Thanks Everyone - be checking your mail Wednesday/Thursday-ish :)

Jugs: Stover(unbeknownst to us, the mom to be) you're making me nervous!!

Mom to be:Haha - oh my gosh... nothing to be nervous about. Just a little "hello", that's all :)


A few days later..
Mom to be: Hey guys - the things I ordered are back ordered :( Probably next week - sorry for the delay - miss you all! We still need to plan a mass WAJ (that's what we call ourselves, don't judge it's the dorms initials, we were cool back then!) trip to the vineyards!!

Jugs:ooooh what did you order!!!! im so excited!!
on

Shitty: yeaaaa get that bad boy rolling! and Jay wheres this thing I'm expecting? ....or must we wait a few months? ......like 9....?


..this is completely Hart of Heart's fault btw.

Me: she said it was backordered, is that a new term for the gestation period?

Bestie Best:Haha so glad I'm not the only one with that thought... J is messing with our heads!

Mom to be: What is a gestation period??? It's just something small... nothing big to stress over. Sorry for missing everyone and wanting to do something cute :P

Jugs:HAHAHAA
oh jay i love and miss you! we thought you were sending us a picture of your occupied uterus!! it is still vacant right? green strip not red? hahah love you miss you girls sooo mcuhhhh

Me: (now backing away from my original thought process) haha oh gosh, gestation period is the time it takes for a baby to grow... annnyywho.. we love you for getting us together like this and I can't wait for the notebook to come my way! I miss you all!

Hart of hearts: She is messing with our heads.

Mom to be: Hart of Hearts you need a hobby

Mom to be: Mailed yesterday

Jugs: woooo i cant waittttt i never get anything but bills and I'm so excited for some snail mail lovin! miss uuu



...yup she fooled us.... well kinda . We were all onto her at some point, but she did a good job of throwing us off the scent. But now I cannot contain myself.
I did call my best friend Morgan. She let me ruin the surprise for her. She is in North Carolina so it'll be days before she gets it.

Days I said.

I cannot wait days people!!!

This is BIG freaking news!

She was the first one to get married and now the first one to pop out a baby. We have to go all out. And believe you me I am going to be the party planner. I planned her bachelorette party. Quite the success I tell you. Though I can tell you no more. We were sworn to secrecy.

Anyway. Thanks for listening. One of my best friends is going to have a baby. This is freaking awesome. I will get to tell the little one all about that time in ninth grade that Mommy pulled out Motion Lotion and licked it off her own arm. Exclaiming "it really does taste good"

You're going to be a great mom!


....stay tuned.

I'm no sucker for advertising and this is how I can tell...

I just discovered fleece. (don't laugh)

I kid you not. Remember way back when, when Old Navy was all about the Performance Fleece. There were commericals a plenty and people sporting them everywhere you went. So naturally everyone got on that bandwagon.

Yeah, not this girl.
Either too poor for even Old Navy or I was rebelling against what the masses were doing. (Too cool for school)

So as I was walking through Nordstrom Rack,(there was no need for me to be there except my pretend need for a "belt", well I did need the belt but I knew I was getting the 8 dollar one at WalMart when I walked through the doors but I just had to peek, it's been a while. )

...wait let me back up. And tell you why fleece was even on my mind.

My younger sister is a fleece freak. Well maybe she just likes them a lot, but this girl has asked for and gotten multiple fleece jackets for Christmas. See I save up my Christmas presents. Like this year I am going to ask for all the stuffs associated with training for a triathlon.(Again.) Like a bike rack,really expensive Zoot suits and what not.
Not the shit I can buy myself...

like a fleece.

Sure she likes the really expensivo ones and I'm sure they are even better. But, just yesterday I purchased my first Columbia fleece jacket. All black, and kids sized none the less.

I figured if my sister is asking for these suckers for Xmas, they gotta be good. I seriously don't even recall putting on someone else's fleece, ever and falling in love like I did yesterday on my way to work wearing only a tank top in this, what feels like 12 degree weather. (probably closer to 50's but I'm a baby) I literally had a smile plastered on my face while driving to work realizing that 25 dollars on this jacket that I did not need, was the best 25 dollars I spent yesterday (probably all week). Not the super cute Chinese Laundry heels. Not the really nice strapless bra. The jacket was king.

I'm still wearing it. I wore it to bed even.

So in conclusion. Don't waste your advertising dollars on me,cuz I will not buy it just cuz you tell me too. Sure it may be great, and there is a reason that it catches on and has hundreds of commercials about its greatness, and followers a plenty but I, I do what I want.
Except for that one time in college during the Super Bowl that the Taco Bell ad came on and Morgan and I got up and immediately drove to get a crunchwrap supreme.(holy crap those things are good.)

..stay tuned.


Oh and I have plenty more to dish just not the time to do so. I'm sure you are all aware of the Holiday coming up tomorrow. Yeah, I'm in major prep mode. But besides that I got a random text from the ex last night, new boy at work developments, asked out on a date by 40 year old, and much more... to come. So seriously...stay tuned.

Gone Baby Gone

Apparently I disappear from thursday evening until tuesday evening. I am working on how to post everything I want to whilst working two jobs and all that other jazz I get into. Friday wasn't quite a Fabulous Friday but I could at least deem it a Family Fun Friday. I will let you know more about this after my shift I am already late for.
Who is excited for Halloween?!?!?!?!?!
I can hardly contain myself!


...stay tuned.

Take a breath..

I don't feel like I should be out of bed. I have one of those nagging sickness knocking on my door. Achy head neck and back, yup. Sore throat, yup. Scratchy voice, tired eyes, you name it. So how can I possibly post today? Well I decided to do a little post about things I have learned in the last week.

Seriously, everyday I find something new and interesting out, whether about the world or myself.You know, learning. It's good for you or something.

So here it is,
Brookie's observations du jour:

1.If you are looking for hot guys...

Go to the pumpkin patch. Seriously!

I mean besides the clearly not hot ones that look like they should be perched in a corn field to scare away the crows. For every 3 of those there is a gorgeous man toting around some punkins! Sure he may also be toting some tots too. I didn't say they were single guys but there are some hot dads roaming around that's for sure. I don't really want them you know like I would want single hot guys but, I do like their presence though because it makes me go "that is what I want my husband to look like when we have kids" (that sentence is comical all on it's own)


2. Sleep is underrated. Okay that one is for the sick me who is still crying that I have to take a shower and get dressed and function as a human today and it is already (read: only) noon.

3. The art of biting one's tongue needs to be more widespread. I don't understand people who cluelessly say hurtful or rude things and keep on their merry ways. Guess what people. Not everyone cares what you think. Not everyone wants the break down of why you just said the imbecile like thing you just said. And not everyone wants to further carry on a conversation with you after you've said something so out of line.

For example, when someone verbally attacks me,(good intentions be damned) you better believe that I will fight back, verbally. But when someone thinks that she is better equipped to take me down verbally she better look in a mirror and deflate her own arrogant head because I am well skilled at the art of holding back, until need be. And then you are in for a tongue lashing. Or even a beating because I am certainly not above (as Coral from The Real World put it..) beating bitches up.Just because I am more refined and don't commonly say things that either
a. people laugh at incessantly because it was kinda stupid
or
b. people are caught so off guard they mask their displeasure with awkward smiles.

No, typically when I speak if I am not intentionally making people laugh, it is usually good for something else. Be it, knowledge or praise or something equally as wonderful. I open my mouth and more good things come out than bad. And there are some people in this world whose ratio of good to bad is tipped in the wrong direction.
Closing their mouths more often may just help that.
So in conclusion, "if you ain't got nothin' nice to say, don't say it at all"
..bitches.(that was my inner Paris coming out.)

4. When you put your mind to something, it can be done and with great success.
My newest best friend E is a fantastic example of this. She is a 24 year old working girl (in a the WG1 and WG2 sort of way.) who just put on a fund raiser for Pick's Disease which is something her family is dealing with right now. That girl almost single handedly raised 12 thousand dollars with one 5k. Let me say that again. One girl, one event, twelve thousand dollars.
How can you not be WOWed by that. God love her, I am so proud to know her. Anyway in the midst of dealing with a sick parent, a demanding job , a house full of boys (one being her boyfriend) this girl set out to put on an event. She set her mind to it and she busted her ass and she did some incredible things in the process.
I am so proud of her!

5.No matter how much you hide the fact that you are Queen of the Procrastinators, you will be found out.
And I don't even have more time for this post because I have to go meet my father at the DMV an hour away from here so I can put the title of my car in my name(after owning it for 4 plus years) which I could have easily done by myself had I any clue where the title was and/or is currently. Oh yay.



and just a day later I have more to add...

6.If you just wait long enough people will show you their inherent stupidity.
For example. When going into the DMV or MVA (or whatever place you go to, to get your license and tags and all that super fun stuff that makes you question your very existence while you wait in the seemingly never ending line and listen to a womans soft but slightly irritating voice call everyones number but yours until you want to pull your own teeth out and then you get called, lucky you, and you go to the teller only to find out you have the wrong form) type place; well whenever you go in there, knowing it will be at least a 15-20 minute wait (at the very least!) do you think to bring your babies in? Well, let's say you have oh i don't know, two kids. Both under the age of two, one closer to a newborn. Would you think "oh you know, I will just run in real fast and leave my kids strapped in their car seats while I just take care of some important documents real quick."
No?
Why not?
Oh cuz you have a heart?

That's nice, apparently this lady didn't.

So as I was leaving ( go me! My car is finally in my name, and my license has the right address and its horizontal now with a picture that isn't of me when I was 17, and I'm registered to vote, AND I have new tags and registration.. Gosh I am good!) We noticed two kids screaming crying with the windows cracked ( genius i tell you, the window down just low enough to let fresh air in and to also provide anyone with access to her kids or her car. Someone give her a badge)and I just can't believe how unbelievably stupid people just are. It shouldn't shock me but it does. My heart breaks a little every time someones stupidity puts children in danger. So as much as I would love to root for the human race, it's people like that who take up space and make me think we are all doomed.


I have many more observations but I think I will just start Observation Friday. Where I point out something that may or may not be poignant, relevant, or even observational but will certainly be comical, except for when stupid people do stupid things. Then I will have to rant like Peter Griffin with "You know what really grinds my gears".



..stay tuned.

You ain't seen nothin' yet.

"Buh buh baby, you aint seen nothin yet."
Sorry I had to finish the lyric!

I haven't even had enough time to get on the computer and write that I don't have enough time to get on the computer and write. I kid you not.
Zazu does the most wonderfulicious Holiday Open House and it is upon us today. So all the days previous have been filled with Christmas tree decoratin' like you ain't never seen before. (Hence the title.) Seriously if you get a minute or 4 hours stop by Zazu and check out the incredibleness that we little girlish elves put together while you guys blinked.

Un freaking believable. If you can't get to us in person, then check back I will be posting pictures and showing you the magic we create. There is a whole gaggle of girls that have the magic touch and I am proud to be a part of this amazing team.

Now Merry Holidays and Happy Christmas and all that junk!

Back your voting ass up! But not into my front fender!

I absolutely cannot stand to see people with bumper stickers ( no not the facebook kind, Mark Zuckerwhatshisface already took all the fun out of those bumper stickers) and yard signs telling me who they are voting for.

Yup, I said it. Get your stinkin' vote, out 'o my face!

I don't ask you to put up a sign whether you spank your kids or not. ( well because we all know you do. You left the windows open on Sunday night. But don't worry your secret is safe with me.)
I don't ask you to tell me which grocery store you frequent. ( Because I like Giant, and no matter how pristine Bloom is, they don't have shit there.)
And I certainly don't ask you to put in window paint your favorite movie.
(Because you've already told me your kid is an honor roll student and I lost interest.)

Why the hell do you think I give a crap about who you are voting for?

All I want to do is steal your lawn sign. (I have contemplated it a time or twelve trust me.) Rip it into tiny little shreds and shout that I am voting for the complete opposite of your flamboyant choice.
Do they (lawn sign people) seriously think that my vote is wavering and if I see my neighbor with a yard sign for Obama that I am going to go " Oh! I love Tammy, she is a great woman and I really trust her judgment. I think I am going Obama now."

Eh Eh. ( when I get my new digital camera I will load a video of exactly how this sound is perfected. You can start by wagging your finger, just once.)

It's not about one party or the other, either. I am equally annoyed by both displays of "someone should give a shit what I think so I am gonna stick it on my corolla bumper as I cut you off in traffic" ass

Well guess what, I want to vote twice. One vote for each candidate. To equally disappoint the other. ( Spiteful? Me? Noooo..!)

Any maybe this is all me, I have a severe issue with being told what to do.
I don't like missionaries (with all the "this God saved me and you can too!" schtick) and I don't like your bumper sticker in my face and I really don't like those people who keep their stickers on their car way past the previous election. (oh they kill me!)
Guess what people?!

*** Spoiler Alert!***

Kerry and Edwards are over. ( They didn't win)
Bush and Cheney are on their way out. (See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!)

On second thought maybe we use this tactic for politicians. Like they all have to put a bumper sticker on their car as to their votes for every bill and law and proposition they have voted for so we can actually track their records. Like if you see McCain driving next to Dubya and you see each of their votes and it turns out McCain only votes with Bush 88% of the time. (Not the widely reported 90%.)

I meaaaannn, might make a difference right?

Oh? No?? It won't?

Yeah neither will you effing yard sign.

No go cut your grass, it looks atrocious.

Oh wait, that's just political bullshit you spilled all over it. Go to Lowe's get some weed killer and it should be fine by December.


wanna know who I am voting for?


..stay tuned.

I quit.

"so wanna hear about my newest love interest?" I ask my younger brother (who doubles as my best friend, when he isn't farting or snoring of course,then he is my greatest enemy)

"what is he like 85?" (valid question I suppose)

"Nope, but close" I answer

"Okay what like 40?" He asks again.

Without a word he looks at my face, sees the grin and flips his lid.
"what?!? are you serious?! I'm not talking to you anymore" And instantly he is gone.

My brother tells me all about his crazy life, why can't I tell him about mine? True the entire family was less than thrilled with my last boyfriend. Who just so happened to be 32. When I was 22.
So what?
I cannot help who I am attracted to! Right?!

Well after that didn't work. (my father affectionately referred to him as a pedophile within seconds of meeting him)Wonder why?


Before him there were other 30 somethings.. even before I was in my twenties.
(I am sensing a pattern here!)

Then came... a 30 something with 3 kids. Oh wait no. There was a 34 year old with 2 kids in Germany or wherever he was stationed.Then there was 3 kid guy. Who was super effing cute. And even let me drag him on the dance floor where his old guy moves did nothing for him except win points in my head for letting me drag him there in the first place. Found out he was closer to 40's and I am really not trying to be a step mom.


But somehow I am caught up with the 40 year old who may or may not have 6 kids. WHAT?!?
Did I cross the line of acceptable?
Who knows. ( seriously do you know, does anyone know? Is there a pill I can take?)
But I continue on my quest to figure out why I am not attracting twenty somethings. There is one that I work with...but damnit if he doesn't already date another girl I work with. Bitch. (I meeaaannnn)

Then there is the twenty something with his feet solidly on the ground (and stepping in piles of money)and just dorky enough to make you love him and just smart enough to make you hate him. Shocker we seem to have exact opposite schedules.


What is it with my life? Love is blind, uh huh. My heart knows no bounds, I get it. Blah Blah Blah.

I am tired of questioning myself. Will somebody just sweep me off my feet already?
And please for God's sake lie to me and tell me you are 29, for a while at least. Then you can drop the bombshell about the immense baggage you have.

I'm tired. I quit.


...stay tuned.

Eco- friendly

I have been very aware, and eco-friendly for a while. Going green and organic and all that jazz but this time by eco I mean economy.

Welcome to the end of the world. I mean the end of 2008. (Seems like the same thing right?)

We are all paying a bit more attention to our spending habits and our lifestyles these days. So when I stumbled upon Bossy's Poverty Party I thought it to be a great time to start actually doing something. If I can't better the world just yet maybe I can better my own forecast in life. (for now ya know, 'til I sew up the cape and start saving the rest of the world.)

I am very fortunate to be where I am right now because had I been living anywhere else while this economic crunch is going on I may have had to go live with... gasp!

My parents. No just kidding. I would live on the streets before I would go back to their houses.(Totally love them, but from far away. Far far away.)

So yesterday I go to the grocery store, with the intention of buying milk and deodorant. That is all I needed. Let me stress that I had chicken out waiting to be cooked and probably enough other food options to last me a week at the very least. Hearty, healthful food options, not like ramen noodles and some left over saltines. ( I mean I am out of college, I should probably never have to live like that again right?)

And yet. I walked out of there 85 bucks poorer.
I told myself that I was going to clip some coupons and get only what I needed from now on.(two weeks ago, after a shopping trip)

Well my needs are clearly defined by anything that looks yummy at any given moment during the aisle sweeps. I have a tendency to start at one end of the store and go through each and every aisle because, well... I don't know what I want.

I know what I needed.
Milk and deodorant.
But did I really expect to walk out of there with just those two things? Has anyone EVER done that? Walked in for a handful and walked out without a cart full?

Not possible in my world. Now I love making decisions for other people. Quick. Easy. And seemingly rationaled.(not a word, I know, but go with it) For myself it is much harder. There is no logic behind some of my choices and therefore the grocery store hits a weakness.
I have no specific reasons why the boca burger looks especially good this week when for the last 2 months I have not purchased one. In fact, I don't think (besides milk) that anyone could look in my pantry or fridge and predict what I was going to buy the next time I was in a grocery store.

So for my Poverty Party contribution to my own well-being I am going to seriously.

Make a list.

Check it twice.

And find out whose been naughty or... Wait that's Santa.

First I am going to make a list and stick to it. Limit myself to what is written on a slip of paper that I no doubt will have lost between getting in the car and out of it. If I forget something then I will have to put it on my list for next time.

Totally possible. (laughing hysterically in my head)

And another favor I am going to try to do for myself is keep my change. I switched to a teensy tiny little coach purse (given to me for Christmas 2 years ago, never would have bought it myself, don't worry!) And there is no room for my super cute change purse thingy. So I have been neglecting my change and its' whereabouts.

Turns out.

I can clean my car for the amount of change I have in my car! It was a lovely experience yesterday. And even though some people (JEN!) think that because yesterday it was cleaned then today is the day it starts to become unclean again. (And I know I told you all about just how messy my car was, it isn't always like that. Geez! Have faith people!)

Well I am going to keep a clean car. Keep my change. Make a list and stick to it.

Heck! What else can I do to better my life today?

...stay tuned.

Organize me.

There is a Good Charlotte song titled "motivate me" and it used to ring true for me back when I was an angst ridden teenager. Or an early twenty something that still looks like she is fourteen. (Oh wait , that's me now.)

But I would now re-title the song "Organize me" because that's really what I need in my life. Pathetically there are things in my life that just never get done.

I can't believe I am going to admit this but I took my bike with me for my triathlon way back at the end of May. I had to take it apart to get it into my car since I don't have a bike rack (like all the cool kids...come to think of it I don't have a road bike like all the cool kids either. Damn cool kids and their stuff)

Put it back together for the race. Obviously.

Took it apart shortly after for the ride home.

It is now sitting in Jen's garage with no front tire. The piece to connect the front tire is in my car somewhere.

Wait!

Don't go looking for it!

You might die in there!
Seriously I will have to find a long branch from a vine-y tree ( think Wesley in the Princess Bride when Buttercup falls into the quicksand.) so that when you start to suffocate under everything I can pull you from your ultimate death.

Here is a quick list of things I know are in there.. and mind you I am inside the house about 30 yards from my car at this moment of recall.

*A guitar.(i take lessons, or did, not since I started working two jobs, and yes the guitar is still in my car.. it provided me with endless amounts of fun last Monday when I drove my brother and his drunkie friend home. Boy can't sing Karaoke but give him a guitar to strum and he busts out like a better Scott Stapp and with sicker rhymes!)

*Flip Flops

*Server apron

*Multiple cups and bottles of water.

*Oh! A whole new case of bottled water (and I will use the chilling weather as an excuse to why I never take it out of my back seat!)

*A grass skirt.

*A Map of Virginia ( I never get lost so it's of no use to me.)

*ESPN Magazine with MP on the cover. (He's my boy and next time I'm back in Bmore he is totally signing it!)

*An accordion file folder (have NO idea what's inside)

*A spoon ( My car was semi- recently broken into and nothing was stolen. Or nothing that I could tell. The cop was utterly disgusted by my sloppy tendencies and he picked up a spoon and asked me if I had any immediate use for it... Jerk... The answer was no but those little "what ifs" always pop up!!)

*Probably a car insurance bill or twelve. ( I can't be bothered to put things in the mail so I end up paying over the phone every time.)


...I won't go on, you get the point. I am in desperate need for a person or team to come organize my life. I have found that no matter how pretty the organizer I will toss it aside eventually. I may be more inclined to use a pretty file folder over a plain black one (the one in my car is black!) and I may be more inclined to hang up all my clothes if the hangers were pretty. But I've got about 30 to 40 empty plain white boring hangers and piles and piles of clothes from my bed to my dresser that are waiting to be hung up.

Now I had the genius idea that there should be one person to be your shoe consultant. Like they study your foot and they go to a shoe store with you and explain why flats may be in but you aren't allowed to wear them. Since you have flat caveman feet. And you are only 5 foot tall so you need every inch you can get...or something like that.

Anyway why can't I have an organizational consultant. That doesn't cost a million dollars of course. And they are with me to tell me that no matter how pretty that Vera Bradley Day Planner is, my lazy ass will NOT write in it.

and then they flip out their organizer and tell me I have a 2 o'clock and they run to get me my Starbucks and we are on our merry way.

WHat?!? They have those? It's called a personal assistant? And you have to be rich or famous or important even in the slightest to have one?

Dangsies. Well I do have the day off, I suppose I could get out of my sweatpants and go clean out my car. And my room. And take things to storage. And do more laundry. And... make pumpkin cookies and go running? Holy crap this is starting to overwhelm me.

I think I will just make the cookies.
Everyone loves Betty Crocker and no one knows whether she was organized or not!

...stay tuned.

Blog'on Mad

This blog has transformed the way I think. I now think in terms of posts. All day every day.I have about 12 thousand and 86 new ideas each day.

Trouble is, there aren't enough mediums to put down all of those ideas for later usage. They get gobbled up into my brain hopefully to be recycled again at a later date where I will proclaim them genius once again and hope that I am within arms length of a computer or away it goes one more time. (i'm not sure how many times they recirculate before it's gone forever)

In between the those gem posts you get a posting about one's boring weekend.

Apologies all around.

Unless you liked it, which would make me a literary genius trapped in a tiny little 23 year olds body prancing around as a waitress and sales girl.

Yeah, didn't think so.

Bear with me, I swear there are more nuggets of wisdom and witty life observances tucked away in my every day life.

..stay tuned.

A Weekend Away

While my weekend was spent in the same cozy little town I always reside in, I felt like I was away.( My brain took a vacation that's for sure) My best friend was in town though(oh thank goodness!) and I had to work every minute that wasn't being spent with her.

It turned out to be a weird weekend. Clearly why I am sitting here on this Tuesday still thinking about the events that took place in the last 72+ hours.

Friday she rolled into town and I met her at a restaurant where the host politely told me that my friends were waiting for me and pointed me in a direction. I asked him how he knew and he laughed and nodded again in that direction. So I started walking.

He was wrong.

Assumed I was with the other 20 something girls at a round table. When in actuality my friends were my best friend and her parents. I love that he laughed at me though, like an I'm that good so don't ask me how I know kind of laugh.
Idiot.

Side note:They did have fabulous Margaritas though. And that is really how I judge a restaurant. I am a Margarita snob. Love Sweet Water for their food but their margaritas are shit. Ted's Montana Grille, apparently has a much better recipe. I however, have the best recipe of all. If you are lucky one of these days I will share it with you.
It is to die for. And I can only thank Denise for bringing it into my life.
But shhhh.. I like to take credit for passing this recipe around!

Back to the story...

we went out to apparently my favorite place V5( I say apparently because I am there every damn day but I really think of it no better than any other local joint, my brother just happens to work there and I go there a lot. Okay?!)
She and I have a drink there and then head to meet some friends at the Sports Theatre. Which is exactly why it was a snoozer. You shouldn't go there if there aren't any big games to watch. I almost fell asleep in her tall ass glass of beer. We drove home and Friday night came to a sleepy close.I wasn't sure I was going to get to spend any more time with her.

She was going to a wine festival (how classy) and I was going to work (how boring) on Saturday. And though she was to make it home by 7 that night there was no reason to believe that she would make it anywhere else but home after that. (There are stories of other wine festivals to back up this notion)

So when she sat in my section at the restaurant later that evening it was a nice surprise. The entire evening had been anything but pleasurable before her arrival.

Blame it on homecoming. Stupid high schoolers. (only kidding I love all God's children... haha kidding again)(Seriously though, who forgets to put a tip down? Seven of you just ate for 95 dollars, where is the rest of daddy and mommy's money?! I didn't do this just to make sure your night was special...but I'm sure it was anyway, the way girls are dressing these days! When did I become old and conservative? Sheesh!)

Anyway, after work I met her at her place and watched SNL.

Okay so let's recap. Boring Friday. Boring Saturday. And now on to Sunday.

Oh and I work, now that's a surprise! (again, I know I have no room to complain I have taken on two jobs and should expect to work every day all day right?! Great.)

Luckily brunch was slow and I got off just in time to don my jersey and head up to the sports bar and watch my game. It ended, and sadly.The 3 and half quarters we had lead the game disappeared in the last minutes.
I was less than thrilled.

To make matters worse the hometown team had taken the lead and we all know that every win brings them closer to the likely hood of a Super Bowl ring right? Yeah, well try telling the fans that isn't exactly the case.


So I had to hustle out of that place before I blew a head gasket (see: previous post about being a good sport.. hint: I'm not.)
I went home and watched more football and fell asleep.

My best friend left town.

End of weekend.


Except I never have specific weekends so I am going to include yesterdays shenanigans in my weekend recap.

Work at the restaurant as usual, mess up, get lousy tips and head out before anyone notices. Meet the girls at Vintage 50 and start the birthday celebrations!

Met the rest of the crew at another place and really started the birthday celebration for a few people.

Then I watched the birthday girl slip into the worlds quickest drunk-fest mode.

And I was keeping an eye on a certain goal of mine. (Yes, I refer to men as goals)
He definitely kept me guessing because he starts hooking up with a co-worker. What?@! He's taken? Oh well, guess he is off the "I must conquer" list.
Or is he?
Did he just grab my scarf and pull me in close?
Did I catch him eyeing me through out the night?

Yes and yes. So is he off the list or what? I can't decide.

But now I am getting texts about Birthday girls lunacy that didn't end with her calling everyone bitches and flicking everyone off. She quit today.

After the penis pops(or cocksicles, whichever you prefer), the tiara, the birthday sash, the drinks, the shots and the karaoke we sang to her she ended up getting belligerent and using those hands for evil and not good. Bad birthday girl, bad. So back to Pennsyltucky she goes.

See, and this why I don't define the weekend by certain days. Craziness can happen at any moment. And there, in a simple Monday was hiding the excitement I had been looking for all weekend.

You do know that right?

DNR

Holy weather report Batman! I seriously have to learn to take 5 minutes and check out the weather each day. Instead I usually like to look out my bedroom windows and take a guess as to how I should dress in accordance to how I think it feels outside. (think being the keyword here)

I woke up today, (nice and slow because I don't have to be anywhere today!!) and I took a look outside and saw the wind blowing. I assumed it was just as cold as it was yesterday so the little spandex and Ravens zip up weren't going to cut it.
Back into the closet I go.

...I take a look and pick my super soft VT sweatshirt and the thickest pair of Jeans I can find. Did I mention that I hate the cold?
Anywho.
I step outside to go run some errands before my BFF gets here and

BAM!

Hello nice weather. Hello warmth. Hello stuffy leather interior.
And bye bye sweatshirt.

Underneath luckily I had the always classy wife beater on. I was headed to Wal-Mart so I guess it's better that I wear the attire of the indigenous people. So as not to stick out while I am there, I like to remain undetected in that place. (At times it can be rather scary just walking through those doors, but that is a whole 'nother blog)

On my way I see what I have determined to be one of the more hilarious things in recent times. Mostly because it pertains to my life in a sad, real way.
A car in front of me has one of those bumper magnets. Oval shaped white magnet with black letters and a black outline. It's on a jeep of some sort. I see the letters

DNR
.. and I think to myself. Where the hell is that place?
I have seen OBX and for the locals OCM but DNR?

Then I think... "do not resuscitate"? Which the year of nursing school taught me stood for DNR.

Oh. My. God.
I need one of those stickers.

...for my car!
Seriously I love my car. It is a lovely Dodge Stratus (refer to Will Ferrell skit on SNL)
It is 10 years old and has been, well, resuscitated a couple of times. (WAY more than I can even count)
I can't even begin to explain the seemingly random and always disastrous events that have happened to me while driving that car. Nothing that hasn't made me a better person today (and way more equipped, flat tire? got it. Dead Battery? No problem. Overheating? Seriously I can handle anything now)

But I digress, this post was more about the comedy of the situations my car has put me in (not the severity of life and death situations it has also put me in) So to me a huge "DNR" sticker on my car would be so appropriate.

Because after a new transmission, some major engine fixes, huge alignment issues, 3 blown tires and possessed wiper blades I think it may be time to put my car to rest if and when (please be later rather than sooner!) it finally has another misadventure. Bessy,(Which is what I name all my cars) has been good to me. Especially for what I paid for her. But if she suffers another mishap I think it's time to get her to sign a "DNR"


...stay tuned.
Off for another fabulous friday, if Morgan would get here already!

My ipod failed me.

Off for another run this morning. Gosh I feel good!
But I have to keep fidgeting with my ipod.

Next song.

Next song.

This one isn't bad....wait, no... next song.

Who the heck put these songs on here?
...dangit bobby, that was me. What the hell was I thinking? These aren't working out songs! Everybody knows you need to create a very specific list of well crafted tunes to put on a workout play list.Oh silly Brookie.

I just tossed like 40 songs on there to try it out.
The dilemma is that I no longer have access to my Itunes. It is on my computer and my computer is sitting in a box in my closet with no internet connection to speak of. And now I will be forced to listen to those crappy songs, over and over again. OR (say it really loud) I could just stop working out again! (Bad Brooke, triathletes can't be this lazy!)

So if we are keeping count that is two. Yup two ipods that have failed me now. The first one is an ancient decrepit ipod mini (remember those? Mini? Ha! That thing is HUGE compared to the one I have now!) And that lasted me a couple months before the audio jack output (the small one at the top) no longer wanted to work with ear buds. The audio jack for an I-home (the big one at the bottom) ...is just fine. So that sucker is permanently stuck on my kitchen cabinet hanging ihome. Which was great last year when I had kitchen cabinets to hang it from and a kitchen all my own. (Well I shared it with 3 other girls but they quickly learned that loud music in the kitchen is not an option in my life, thanks mom.)

And yet now I have the perfect running buddy, a teensy tiny little nano, with a crappy play list. (Why can't I have the play list that is on my own blog?!)

So ask me how far I got in my run today. Wait no, don't ask, don't tell. Right?

And I have started a new game to pass the time while switching between bad songs....
Squirrel Displacement Count (how many squirrels lives I can interrupt by running on the path.)
Yesterday I got to 5 and today was only 2.
Like I said.
NOT a good run day.

The really superb part of everything though is that my bestest bestie best lover friend is coming home tomorrow. Oh Morgie, how I missed thee. So, fat and slow I may be but without a best friend this weekend I will not be! I can only assume the fabulous Fridays tradition will continue tomorrow as planned!

...stay tuned.