You couldn't possibly want another election related post. You do? Good. Here it is. My one and only.

It's not like there isn't plenty of election coverage right now. So I will not spout about who or what I believe in and how or why I went about choosing my candidate. But I am proud to say this country has elected it's first black president. It shows growth and to me a sense of one-ness. Because I too am part black.

Wait. I lied. I occasionally get mistaken for an African American when I hit the beaches. I also get mistaken for a person of Asian decent. Due to my almond shaped eyes or something like that. I'm not sure. But what I am trying to say is that I relate with the peeps. And so does GObama. So although my father is sad to see his reflection. (rich old white man) not get the incumbents seat, I am proud to be an American today.

But you know what I figured out.

I am much less confrontational than I remember myself to be.

That is a huge statement for me. Because most people would say my five foot stature does not do my personality justice. Brutal honesty is not something you can go about delicately, hence the first word being brutal. I don't tend to make friends by being quiet and bashful. I get loud and sometimes verbally abusive (if you are rooting for a team I don't care for) and the people that are left in the wake. The people that have survived. They tend to be okay with being my friend.

As I usually spout my daily amount of jibber jabber I tend to piss off a person or twelve. Just part of my daily routine. Nothing new for me. When the election was barely on the horizon it was such easy fodder for me to go back and forth with anyone. Truly I played devil's advocate and vouched for each candidate just to test other peoples beliefs. As it came closer to the actual day (today) I got a little more protective. I had decided on who my man was.

I did not want to share that with anyone. I no longer wanted to fight. I knew what I believed in and I wanted no one to sway that. I even got a little upset when a campaigner of my future baby daddy... I MEAN my future presidential vote getter came to my door to talk to me about campaigny type crap. I didn't ask her who she was voting for. Nor did I care. Now go home woman. (And for god's sake knock over some lawn signs on the way out will ya?)

The beauty of an election is watching the results knowing that you were part of it but in no way did your one vote decide the race. So a friend of mine who once had a conversation with me that almost came to blows, he and I called a truce. We vowed not to get into it all. Every time. I wish that everyone could do that. I still don't want to talk about it. I have no desire to rub in my elected official. I am also not gonna sulk about a parties fall from grace.

It's not as if I picked the Steelers to trounce the Redskins. And bet on it. (I mean we all knew that was gonna happen, and I should have bet cuz I could have won some money) But it's nothing to brag about.

So congratulations to every American who voted today. And congratulations to our candidates and our country who will really reap the rewards of our actions.

And for you lazy asses who didn't vote. ( and there are a shit load more of you who I am fully surprised to know about) You all need to buck up and stop claiming ignorance as a reason why you didn't vote. Get off your ass and learn something about candidates and make a choice. There is no right or wrong.

Just who is cooler and picks the right party who gets the most votes and totally wins and has the most friends and stuff.

Oh wait that was high school.

Dangsies.

...stay tuned.

Back your voting ass up! But not into my front fender!

I absolutely cannot stand to see people with bumper stickers ( no not the facebook kind, Mark Zuckerwhatshisface already took all the fun out of those bumper stickers) and yard signs telling me who they are voting for.

Yup, I said it. Get your stinkin' vote, out 'o my face!

I don't ask you to put up a sign whether you spank your kids or not. ( well because we all know you do. You left the windows open on Sunday night. But don't worry your secret is safe with me.)
I don't ask you to tell me which grocery store you frequent. ( Because I like Giant, and no matter how pristine Bloom is, they don't have shit there.)
And I certainly don't ask you to put in window paint your favorite movie.
(Because you've already told me your kid is an honor roll student and I lost interest.)

Why the hell do you think I give a crap about who you are voting for?

All I want to do is steal your lawn sign. (I have contemplated it a time or twelve trust me.) Rip it into tiny little shreds and shout that I am voting for the complete opposite of your flamboyant choice.
Do they (lawn sign people) seriously think that my vote is wavering and if I see my neighbor with a yard sign for Obama that I am going to go " Oh! I love Tammy, she is a great woman and I really trust her judgment. I think I am going Obama now."

Eh Eh. ( when I get my new digital camera I will load a video of exactly how this sound is perfected. You can start by wagging your finger, just once.)

It's not about one party or the other, either. I am equally annoyed by both displays of "someone should give a shit what I think so I am gonna stick it on my corolla bumper as I cut you off in traffic" ass

Well guess what, I want to vote twice. One vote for each candidate. To equally disappoint the other. ( Spiteful? Me? Noooo..!)

Any maybe this is all me, I have a severe issue with being told what to do.
I don't like missionaries (with all the "this God saved me and you can too!" schtick) and I don't like your bumper sticker in my face and I really don't like those people who keep their stickers on their car way past the previous election. (oh they kill me!)
Guess what people?!

*** Spoiler Alert!***

Kerry and Edwards are over. ( They didn't win)
Bush and Cheney are on their way out. (See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!)

On second thought maybe we use this tactic for politicians. Like they all have to put a bumper sticker on their car as to their votes for every bill and law and proposition they have voted for so we can actually track their records. Like if you see McCain driving next to Dubya and you see each of their votes and it turns out McCain only votes with Bush 88% of the time. (Not the widely reported 90%.)

I meaaaannn, might make a difference right?

Oh? No?? It won't?

Yeah neither will you effing yard sign.

No go cut your grass, it looks atrocious.

Oh wait, that's just political bullshit you spilled all over it. Go to Lowe's get some weed killer and it should be fine by December.


wanna know who I am voting for?


..stay tuned.