You couldn't possibly want another election related post. You do? Good. Here it is. My one and only.

It's not like there isn't plenty of election coverage right now. So I will not spout about who or what I believe in and how or why I went about choosing my candidate. But I am proud to say this country has elected it's first black president. It shows growth and to me a sense of one-ness. Because I too am part black.

Wait. I lied. I occasionally get mistaken for an African American when I hit the beaches. I also get mistaken for a person of Asian decent. Due to my almond shaped eyes or something like that. I'm not sure. But what I am trying to say is that I relate with the peeps. And so does GObama. So although my father is sad to see his reflection. (rich old white man) not get the incumbents seat, I am proud to be an American today.

But you know what I figured out.

I am much less confrontational than I remember myself to be.

That is a huge statement for me. Because most people would say my five foot stature does not do my personality justice. Brutal honesty is not something you can go about delicately, hence the first word being brutal. I don't tend to make friends by being quiet and bashful. I get loud and sometimes verbally abusive (if you are rooting for a team I don't care for) and the people that are left in the wake. The people that have survived. They tend to be okay with being my friend.

As I usually spout my daily amount of jibber jabber I tend to piss off a person or twelve. Just part of my daily routine. Nothing new for me. When the election was barely on the horizon it was such easy fodder for me to go back and forth with anyone. Truly I played devil's advocate and vouched for each candidate just to test other peoples beliefs. As it came closer to the actual day (today) I got a little more protective. I had decided on who my man was.

I did not want to share that with anyone. I no longer wanted to fight. I knew what I believed in and I wanted no one to sway that. I even got a little upset when a campaigner of my future baby daddy... I MEAN my future presidential vote getter came to my door to talk to me about campaigny type crap. I didn't ask her who she was voting for. Nor did I care. Now go home woman. (And for god's sake knock over some lawn signs on the way out will ya?)

The beauty of an election is watching the results knowing that you were part of it but in no way did your one vote decide the race. So a friend of mine who once had a conversation with me that almost came to blows, he and I called a truce. We vowed not to get into it all. Every time. I wish that everyone could do that. I still don't want to talk about it. I have no desire to rub in my elected official. I am also not gonna sulk about a parties fall from grace.

It's not as if I picked the Steelers to trounce the Redskins. And bet on it. (I mean we all knew that was gonna happen, and I should have bet cuz I could have won some money) But it's nothing to brag about.

So congratulations to every American who voted today. And congratulations to our candidates and our country who will really reap the rewards of our actions.

And for you lazy asses who didn't vote. ( and there are a shit load more of you who I am fully surprised to know about) You all need to buck up and stop claiming ignorance as a reason why you didn't vote. Get off your ass and learn something about candidates and make a choice. There is no right or wrong.

Just who is cooler and picks the right party who gets the most votes and totally wins and has the most friends and stuff.

Oh wait that was high school.

Dangsies.

...stay tuned.

"Some days I'm your super bitch"

Today is Monday. It took me a good 20 minutes while waking up this morning to figure that out. I also didn't know that it was daylight savings yesterday. Don't judge

So even though it doesn't feel like the weekend is over to me let me try to capture in a few short (I'm already lying to you, it won't be short) words what my roller coaster of a weekend entailed.

Day one: also known as Friday. Disguised as Halloween. I bought a new digital camera finally. And because of my rash behavior I purchased one I wasn't super crazy about because the one I wanted was only offered in a putrid green yellow color.

Seriously Best Buy?
You offer the normal colored ones online, but the one in the store had to be shiny puke color?
Thanks.

Then it's time to get dressed and at the last minute I changed my outfit. I think this was where I went right. So genuisly right. (pictures to come) I may need to remind you that I was the Orbit Lady. I show up to job #2 in costume as they were having a costume party.30 minutes in, I pretty much have the entire restaurant coming up to me and saying terrible curse words in order to get me to say

"dirty mouth?"
"Clean it up!"
"For a good clean feeling, no matter what"
and lastly
"Fabulous!"

All said in a perfectly inflected accent. I was a hit. They loved me.

And this is where I went so wrong. I should have stayed. Instead I went to my brothers place where they too were having a party. They moved the party to a nearby bar in which I have complete and utter disdain for now because I didn't win the costume contest. It's not that I didn't win that got me, because there was one guy dressed as a soccer trophy. He could have totally beaten me and I would have been fine. He was all gold. (ALL of him) with a soccer ball stuck to his foot and when he struck a pose it was genius (have I over used that word yet?)

But we both lost to

..freaking...

SARAH PALIN!

Really people?

You are that easy?

Look at the ingenuity and the time and effort it took for our costumes. Hers? It took a whole five seconds to throw on a skirt and a blazer and put some glasses on and put her hair half up. I may or may not be a little bitter. Because guess how many Sarah Palin costumes there were this year. Well scientifically I don't know but I am estimating at least 3 billion people went as her. Men and women. Too easy. Yup I'm bitter.

After that we went back to my brothers place and all hell started to break loose. My emotions ran the gamut while I was there. It ended with me leaving at 3 am to drive home all teary eyed. The details will be spared, but let's just say at 25 years old if you become a different person when you drink. You need to stop drinking.

So, no prize money and no happy ending (not that kind you sicko.)
Halloween was a bust.

Day two: Also known as Saturday.
I was in a weird mood, because of the events that transpired just a few hours earlier I couldn't seem to shake the somber feeling that came over me. I drove to work and almost burst into tears (almost is the key word.)My mind was racing and no smile was to be found. It didn't help that in the midst of the drama the night before I also had one of my buddies ( guy I've talked to for years, jokingly and seriously for YEARS) tell me that he was for real in love. With me.

Um what? My first answer is always.. Don't do that. I can figure myself out (no I can't who am I kidding) when I fall in love and all that nonsense but I sure as hell cannot pick up the pieces if someone else falls in love. With me. That just throws me for one hell of a loop. I know not what to do or say. I just feel bad for the person. I think I am the last person you would want to fall in love with.


...and scene!

Let me reel myself back in before we get all smooshy ooey gooey. So as my mind was racing, in walks my good friends Beauty and the Beast. They are my super pair at work. I like them a lot. They keep me sane and laughing. They walk in, plain clothed and I am instantly jealous that I am not them. I continue working while they wait for me. Oh I didn't tell you? Saturday was the last night for the Haunted Forest. These suckers were going and they were waiting until I got off so I could go with them.

I freaking love these people. Crisis over. Smiles were instantly found and I busted my ass to get out of work.

Off we go. And a scare or two was had while in the forest. My night(weekend) was instantly better. Then we went to Sheetz and got late night food. It couldn't have been any better than that. We all drove away with a full belly and a happy ending. (again, not that kind!!)

Day three. Also known as Sunday. Wrapped in football and a Brunch shift.
I don't mind Sundays because working brunch is kind of easy.

What would have been nice is if someone told me that it was Daylight Savings and that I was supposed to turn my clocks back. Yeah. A memo or something would have been nice. Cuz guess who showed up an hour early to work that day? Yup, this girl.

Once I got off work, I had brunch. It was glorious as I tell all of our patrons even though I haven't had it before yesterday. (they don't know that) Now it was time to watch football and veg out all day. The problem is , with my team I have a slight phobia slash obsession. I believed that if I watched my Ravens on the TV that we would lose. If I listened to them on the radio. We won. So I made a quick stop to my brothers work to say hi and see a few minutes of the game. I had been listening on the radio so far and we were winning so I couldn't do any damage whilst in the bar for just a few minutes.

Wrong.

The Browns came back to tie it up. We again went up and then they tied it up again. I got my stuff and was ready to walk out the door. The Browns fan next to me was not okay with this. He convinced me to stay. Against every fiber of my being I stayed. (He was super cute and fun to talk to so not EVERY fiber I guess)

After painstakingly going down 14 points my team rallied. Just as I screamed at the TV that they would.( I am totally in control while watching my team!)

Oh did I mention the cute guy to my left was 39, totally hitting on me and recently divorced with kids. I didn't? Well I don't think I should have to anymore. I think you (my readers) should assume this by now.

And after a couple hours of sitting there,and him worrying that my brother was going to chop his balls off for doing so (my brother works there and has known this guy for years) It was time to go. Or he said so. We had already exchanged numbers and he had already told me every dirty little secret about himself. ( shots will do that, even to a big man like him.) Including the "kinda over" girl he was dating that showed up. Yeah that was fun. Luckily my loud mouth had made friends elsewhere in the bar by then.

Night ended and I may or may not have had a dream about him. Did I also mention he is a stock broker who drives a 125,000 dollar car? Man I'm sorry for leaving these important details out. Just kidding,that is SO not an important detail. But the super cute thing is, he bet my brother that if the Ravens won (and we knew they would!) that he could drive his 4 billion dollar car on a date. Cute 39 year old wasn't looking for anything in return should the Ravens lose (and we knew they wouldn't) So little bro has to find a hot girl to match the sweet ass car he gets to take on a date and I broke the curse of not being able to watch my team on television and now we have a date to meet up every Sunday and demoralize each other depending on whom we are rooting for.

And now we are on
Day Four: also known as Monday or Karaoke night.
And this is why the title of my post is that. I have to learn all the words to the Christina Aguilera song. We've chosen to make that our song tonight.I cannot wait!


more to come I promise because as I said before. My weekend isn't over.


..stay tuned.

Bitter isn't Pretty

How oh how can I learn to be a good sport?
My team lost last night.

And it's freaking killing me. I thought about how I have a severe inability to ever do anything on a grand stage because I HATE losing. Seriously. Hate it.

But maybe because I know I had no part in it. Just a couch potato (not really I was busting my ass at work serving people while they cheered for the damn Steelers.) rooting for my team.

Clearly you can see I am a little bitter. And it isn't something that looks good on a happy little girl like me. I play the loud, over-animated, curse like a sailor catch people off guard cuz I am really a sweet faced little girl role really well. I don't think I can take on the role of the crazy girl who gets salty every time a sports team loses. I make fun of those people. But how can I love my teams ( Go O's ) and have passion for them without being upset the next day that they lost to the slimy, baby Ben led Steelers?

I can't! But I have to. ( <----Bi polar moment right there!)
I have to learn to move on. Right? My brothers are huge fans too. They don't seem bothered by it. A win is a win and a loss is a loss. ( baaaaaloooney! , or would it be balloooggnna!?)

I have been told that my knowledge of football and desire to do nothing else but watch it on Saturdays (college), Sundays and Mondays (and sometimes Thursdays) is sexy. Seriously, I am a cute girl so I think that it isn't typical to have a girl who will watch football all day with a guy and know what is going on and at least some members of every team playing. So where does sexy end and spazz begin?

I guess on a Tuesday morning when your team has lost and it affected you so much your Facebook status has been altered around the angry sentiment.

Fine call me a spazz, an over zealot fan,I will take it. As long as my Ravens get to 8 wins this season. (Recall the bet with former Redskin Brian Mitchell)


...stay tuned.

Monday Morning Madness

Have you opened a newspaper today? And I am speaking to my Washington area readers.

Holy Cow it's like the second coming of Christ. Which to most Redskins fans, a win over the Cowboys in their own house, pretty much is. Short of a Superbowl win (which these suckers have been clamoring for since the last one...83975346 years ago.)

I love it and I hate it. I am by no means a Redskins fan. I hail from good ol' Balmer hon. (translated that's Baltimore, Maryland)
I am a die hard Ravens fan. But to not congratulate this team and its fans (because obviously they have something to do with that win.) would be downright ignorant. I can move past the blurry lines of fan-dom and reach out my hand to a Redskins fan and say... "good win" (Besides my best friend is a die hard skins fan, and I love her so I have to love her interests too, even though she was born in Texas)

Part of me is celebrating the win because my ex-boyfriend is a HUGE Cowboys fan. SO rubbing it in is fun. Luckily we are still friendly( in the I don't want to give a shit about you anymore so I am going to be cordial until I no longer need an ounce of what you think to validate me, then I will be completely done with you, and thusly, no longer friendly sort of way) And since that is the case I hope he can take a joke. I posted some schtick on his MySpace or Facebook wall about him and every other Cowboys fan not killing themselves. Just yet at least.

Besides the cowboys/skins game I am more excited about what tonight may bring. Another W for my Ravens. MNF vs. the Steelers. We got this one. I am "Wacco for Flacco" (I didn't come up with it!)

The downside of Mondays.. I have to work tonight. Most Mondays it is sllloooowww. So I can only hope that I can get out of there before the game starts. Speaking of work. Shouldn't it be sacrilegious to work on Sundays? I mean I took the Sunday morning shift thinking I would be able to get out of there by the time most football was on and not over. Wrong. I got my butt kicked on the patio last night. I enjoyed it after I calmed down a bit. But who knew my busiest shift would be a Sunday morning. Doesn't hold much hope for the rest of the season when my team will be playing at 1pm or 4pm.
Dangsies.


The good thing about football?(and what holds most fans together).. is that there is always next season. I am still counting on my Baltimore boys to do some damage this season, I just have to realize I won't be able to see all of their games. Or the other 31 teams that play. I guess I have to get over that when I took two jobs.

...stay tuned.