Fake Shit.

I can't get my life together enough to do a real post.
For shit's sake I am currently on the West River. This place is more backasswards than going in reverse.

So happy thanksgiving everyone. I am not texting you all. And don't expect one on Christmas either!

Brookie Brooke Meet Doppleganger.

I am pretty sure I have used the word doppleganger before. And possibly incorrectly.

I don't care. I still won't look it up to see if I am using it any more correct in this post. So don't check. Cuz I don't care.

Anyway.

I was out on Thursday night and ran into a woman I have heard about. All I had heard, was her connection to this crazy guy who comes into JobOne and asks us to wrap these SUPER expensivo presents he's purchased for his GF.

Side note: we don't do gift wrapping at JobOne. But he's all weird and we can usually get him to spend a couple-a bucks in the store so we do it for him. Twice a year. Valentine's Day and her birthday. I guess on Christmas he finds some other sucker to wrap his crap. Probably in the mall. Poor mall workers.

Or maybe the thing he buys are like big shiny Mercedes, so he just puts those huge ass bows on them. Who knows. Either way, he is weird, she dates him. Or did. Or does. Or doesn't now again, but soon will again.

This girl and I, we started talking. She is a tiny little bundle of energy. So right away I already see that we are similar. ( My lack of her super creep ex separates us enough, but kind of worries me about my future as soon as I realize she and I are similar) As we start talking we discover eerily similar things about each other.

She's a Pisces. Not that weird but when you can pin point one from just a conversation... A little weird.And mind you, I know almost nothing about the Astrologizzle stuff. Then as we discuss the men in our lives, the ones that we can't let go of. They are both Virgos. And something in us tells us that deep connection we feel can totally be translated into a fulfilling relationship.

Guess what?! It doesn't. It can't. It won't. If she is any indicator of that, 8 years back and forth with a real live "crazy" is not the path I want to continue on.

Then she says there is this guy who she hasn't given a chance for some reason. For years he has asked her out. Great guy. She is now giving him a chance. He is a pisces as well. Weird.

I swear we were talking about one person. We described our brothers and our relationships with them. Yup, still one person.

Only she was 20 years older than myself.

Note to self: don't be her then, okay to be her now at 23. Not at 43. Divorced with two kids and still effing around with the "wrong" guy.

No thank you.

So I'm pretty sure I got my little vision of the future. Now I just need to figure out how to avoid it. Or kind of. Cuz she's all successful and cute and fun still. So I can still be like her in that aspect.

Or maybe she has nothing to do with my life and it all gets chalked up to coincidence!

To tell you the truth, I'm a little delirious. I woke up at 6am to work an event, a 5k in the blistering windy cold. I am now at JobOne. Only to finish there midday and move on to JobTwo. Maybe I will be home by midnight. Maybe.

Then wake up bright and early to go right back to JobTwo.

Can't someone just pay me enough to work one job? Or is that two much to ask? Being a college dropout and all.

Dangsies.

...stay tuned.

Role Models

I had to share this with all two of you. I went to see the movie Role Models over the weekend and I loved it. Though it doesn't take much to make me laugh, this is hilarious.



Enjoy!


...stay tuned.

It's too cold to take my pants off.

Holy frigid weather Batman.

The ex texted me last night. "How are you? Staying Warm?"
He knows the answer. Of course I am not staying warm! It is fricken freezing out now. Even snow flurries. Gross.

My thoughts are always as such; If the snow doesn't cover the ground and get me out of work, I want nothing to do with it.
So last night as I was getting ready for bed I realized. It is too damn cold to take my pants off.

Be damned Cosmopolitan writers who say that it isn't sexy to go to bed in 3 layers of sweatpants and a sweatshirt with long black socks on. Under blankets galore and maybe a beanie if necessary. I am hot in more ways then one when I go to bed!

And this is where San Diego comes into play. I've got Tia over there enjoying the Cali kinda weather in November and she's complaining about it. Ungrateful warm weather bitch! (totally kidding Tia, we should trade homes so you can wear your pea coat and I can stop crying)

Granted the SoCal plans are in the very early planning stages but I saw something in the stars aligning when 4 or 5 of my people started talking about doing the travel to Europe thing and then going to SoCal. Really people? Why didn't any of you follow me to L.A. the first time? I could have really used a friend out there, being 19 and on the opposite coast of everyone I knew.

But I'll let bygones be bygones. And now I am thinking about moving to San Diego. Where Cosmo most assuredly writes from because I can totally understand not going to bed in sweatpants out there! But while I'm on the right coast, I am sticking with my super warm 4 dollar target blankets. A possible space heater purchase in the future. And all of my sexy ass sweatpants!


..stay tuned

Money Talks

I had a conversation with my money this weekend.

It wasn't too happy with being put into my drawer at home instead of in a bank. So it complained a lot about being squished into my wallet on my way down to North Carolina. My money is really finicky. It likes the roominess of a stable bank account where it can just chill and hang out until it can be really useful.

A nice thought. But not practical. I need that shit to work for me. Start doing push ups or something.

So as the conversation went, it had decided that I was 150 dollars too rich.
Yeah?! Me? Rich? Interesting take. I disagreed for a while and said I needed to save more. All I wanted was Andrew Jackson to keep multiplying and just see how many of them I could stuff into one drawer. They didn't take to kindly to that.

So off I went, with a few extra Benjamins than I normally would have taken. I spent pretty wisely. Only 3 cranberry vodkas on Friday. Saturday was spent at Plato's Closet and watching Role Models.(effing hilarious, beeteadub)

Sunday I just drove two hours south and went to see my sister. One margarita and one loss of the Ravens later and I wasn't spending any more money.

And this is where money talks.
It said"did you hear me?I said you were $150.00 too rich!"
Me: "Yeah, I spent some money this weekend. Money that I would have normally saved. And I took off from work so I lost money there too"
Money: "Still not enough."

and second later my left rear tire blew out. On highway 81.

No shock, no worry, no real surprise. My money and my car must have formed an alliance. Long ago. They decided every time I get on my feet and start to get control of my finances, they were going to make sure I knew how high maintenance they really were.

Thanks guys. This is the fourth. Yup, fourth tire that has blown out, or gone flat since I have had my car. Did I mention I've only owned this car for 4 years?
Is that even possible? I would love to rattle off the laundry list of things that my car has also done to prove to me it's still there and I would be no where without it.
But that would probably just piss her off enough to eff with me again sometime soon.

I took preventative measures and bought TWO new tires. I should be good now right?
Oh please Bessy, last me until I move to San Diego (more on that later). I beg of you.


...stay tuned.