Funny how it works like that...

Every now and then I reflect on the people in my life and what they've taught me or what I may have taught them.
I ineviably return to the list of boys that has so briefly entered my life yet profoundly affected the way that I think and behave in relationships going forward.

But at some point, can I stop being the girl who gives
Attitude
Smiles
Overwhelming love
Tough exterior
Super soft interior
and every ounce of myself

when all I seem to receive in return is
Questions
Heartache
Serious Deep Thoughts
and a whole bunch of friends who are convinced I will forever be the single girl.

I'm so over the trend of men.
I have NO idea how to break this trend as they have been so vastly different from each other with the same damn result.

But I get myself all worked up, no matter who is around.
Or may possibly be around
Or may have texted me he will be around.
Ugh, I know that despite the fact that I plan to start my family in the next 4 years I have no hopes of breaking this cycle before then.

It's just funny to me. BabyMamaDrama has my bed, and I doubt I will ever see the cash he promised to pay for it since it's a ridiculously good bed.
But I just, I give.
And I want.
But I never get.
Soooo...
I give nothing, I ask for nothing from boys and I hope to get nothing. Cuz I'm happy not playing the game.
But wait, how does someone have seriously crazy number of texts to send one day... and within a few short weeks, there is not one text or call and it's to the place that if a call were accidentally dialed (I did it today on my stupid touch phone!)
that I would have nothing to say and be embarassed!?!?!

Oh lord I have no idea.
But some people do.
All the 9 million more people celebrating weddings and babies this year.
Accompanied with the 3083 trillion that will be celebrating 1 year this year as well..

Not gonna lie, my celebrity hero, Bethenny Frankel (Hoppy)
She chose one thing, finally after battling herself about whether one person could ask for go after and get all the things she wanted. So she chose.
And when she took that step everything else made its way into her life all on it's own.
So I am choosing. Right now. And maybe one day the other things will come.

..stay tuned.