" Playoffs?!?! "

(Jim Mora Sr. said my title quote, if you recall from the Coors Light commercials. I found that out last night. He was the then coach of the Colts (which was probably shortly after the team was stolen from my hometown! ))

Whewww.. that last one was a doozy.. sorry folks.

I was totally thrown for a loop and did not expect that much emotion to spew out of me.
Which is apparently my new thing. I like, cry now.

That is a weird sentence. But follow me here.. Previously, short of a limb missing or a death in the family, tears really weren't my thing. I just didn't cry. I grew up in a family of "suck it up". And I always did.

But now for some reason. I cry. Things aren't going right with my boyfriend. I cry.
Movies make me tear up.

You know that damn show Paula Abdul is on now? Live to Dance I think it is. Yeah definitely felt the tight throat and the eyes started to well up.

So the other night when I was trying to find a way to get over the harsh realities of who I am related to and just may have the same tendencies as. I cried.

Only for like a minute tho. On the phone with my best friend. So whatever..now I gotta go be my normal tough girl self and watch my team get further into the Playoffs.

I am so freaking excited the last 3 years we have been in the Playoffs and I have more purple to wear than ever before.
It's actually starting to get alarming.

I've asked people to not purchase any more purple attire for me for a while. I am fearful of being.. "the purple girl" . In fact I watched an episode of.. some Style Network show where they re do your wardrobe and this lady was a purple lady.

The host was the daughter of a purple lady. It was very traumatizing. I do not want to get confused with those wack jobs who have purple frames, purple shoes and purple moo moos on..

But I also am superstitious about my sports teams and this year my superstition is that I cannot wear the Ravens logo and win. Though I have awesome jerseys and jackets adn scarves and hate and pants and sweatshirts and socks and cups and salt and pepper shakers (yeah that one is weird, but I plan on having my very own WOman cave and decorating it with all Baltimore stuffs) anywho. It's all invalid this year. Not able to wear drink from or use any logoed stuff.

So I carefully plan how I wear this purple and black combo.. In fact I need to do that now. The game is on in 2 hours. Gotta get a seat at my local watering hole.

Happy Playoffs!

...stay tuned.

That little extra tip.

A little piece of me died last night.

The piece that is a die hard Baltimore Ravens fan. That is actually a huuuuugee part of a little girl.

Luckily there is enough left of me to go on... that is until I showed up at work and had to come to terms with two bets I made. With Steelers fans. Ew.

I also have tons of Steelers fans that are my friends. (I continually ask myself why that is, but I just cant seem to get rid of them.) So of course my Facebook wall is lit up with people in hysterics about their team sweeping my team this season.
A fact that I was not willing to admit. The second regular season game was won by a bullshit touchdown.
I don't blame much on the refs but I just don't agree with that call. You can review it all you want ESPN and draw a little line to show me just how the ball crossed the plane but I refuse to believe it. The refs took just a little bit of time to TURN OVER the ruling on the field. Which was no touchdown. (ahembullshitcoughcough)

Last night however was indeed a fair fight. We lost fair andsquare. We did not have enough steam to take us to their goal line one more time. Not that that alone would have done it. But we were a team that has played 17 weeks in a row. And a team whose starting line up reflected the lack of time off.
But the injured wanted to play last night. Willis, Ray Rice, and T Sizzle, who barely moved his right shoulder unless he was sacking Baby Ben. (Which was freaking GLORIOUS)

And many more were banged up before during and after this game. Willis McGahee being the most concerning of all. a hit the likes of which I have never seen. Both players were shaken up but I thought he was paralyzed.My heart sank and that is when I threw in the towel. The terrible towel that is.

I dreaded going to work today, but found a way to get through it.

You know, you can completely deflate a persons arrogance and gloating if you just happily smile and go with the flow. So yes, I will be donning a Steelers jersey during the Superbowl. I will not bitch about it.

In fact, my secret plan is to use it to my advantage. A poor little girl has to work in a gross yucky Steelers jersey and serve you food and work for tips. Wouldn't you want to give her a little extra tip to help her through?
That's the angle I am working. I'll let you know how it pans out when that fateful day is upon us.


So through the smile, my heart is broken. I was Wacco for Flacco hon.
But then again a rookie QB and Head Coach going to the AFC championship aint half bad by me.





(..GO CARDS!)



...stay tuned.

Steady Chasin that Paper...

FOREWARNING: this post was written two weeks ago. I have just now finished it. The following story may or may not actually be in chronological order. It also may or may not contain facts and or real people. Mostly me. I apologize in advance for the way it is written but I was still reeling. I work seven days a week and try to fit a life in there. Sometimes it ends up like this particular weekend where I forget that there is such a thing as TOO MUCH. I will stand by my final conclusion though.

anddddd... ENJOY!




I have woken up from my 48 hour life-coma. (thanks for being worried, but I am totally okay, life-comas are like a little gap in the time space continuum when everything blurs together and someone tells me that I was awake and alive during all of it. I have no evidence to back this up but go with it.)

I spent most of the last 48 hours working.

And I don't think I can tell you what day it is. It doesn't really matter, I am just going to grogily stumble into JobOne and hope that I am scheduled. Well, wouldn't it be nice to walk in and not be scheduled. Then I could get back to my favorite place in the world.

Under the covers.

I think it's my own fault. Chalk it up to poor planning. (Look at me! I'm growing up, all taking responsibility and stuff. So what if I started it with "I think" instead of a more declarative statement...I'm working on it okay!)

Somewhere in the middle of the week I realized my weekend was shaping up to be a complete and utter disaster. Not until friday came around did I really know what I was in for.

I had to jet out of jobone early to get to my other obligation that I had made months earlier. God forbid I put things like this on a calendar of some sort. Come to think of it, maybe I did. But I am still working on the whole, looking at the calendar thing.

I just write stuff in it. Close it. Walk away. Never to read it again. Not sure it's helping.

Anyway. After volunteering for race packet pick up the evening before I realize that I have a way early morning that is shaping up to be fah reezing.

It was. 6 am never felt so terrible. I was at the race site for 3 hours. The bitter blistering cold wind was determined to make sure it felt like an eternity. I wasn't sure if I felt better being a volunteer and not signing my ass up to run, or realizing that the runners had some blood flow going and could have maybe felt their fingers and toes.

Either way it was cold. And I, well, I hate the cold.

I immediately packed my things and went right to JobOne. Left there to go home just in time to change for JobTwo. I worked there all night (Saturday nights bring out the Cougars, and they are hungry. For our food and any young men they can get their claws into... So we stay busy, Good for business I suppose)

I didn't leave until 11pm. Which meant that I had been working a total of 17 hours. In one day. Somehow I had also gotten sucked into working for someone Sunday evening. Which meant Sunday turned into a double.

Great. Someone clearly took advantage of my weakened state and pounced on it. The delirium had set in and I went home to sleep.

Text messengers be damned. Too many people trying to get into my head and convince me to start partying immediately after my 17 hour shift. I passed out 8 seconds after I stumbled into my room. I woke up Sunday morning to a s-u-p-e-r-s-l-o-w day.

This is where the time space continuum was broken. I was pretty sure, all of Sunday was still just a continuation of Saturday. I am also sure that none of my sleep went into the revitalizing of my body or mind. I think I just closed my eyes and my body was too tired to do anything else.

And that could be my reasoning behind why I convinced myself that only on this Sunday was I supposed to show up an hour later than all my other Sunday in times.Maybe also why I felt the need to get my button up shirt all starched ironed and ready, and then leave it inside my house.

I had however thought ahead enough on Saturday that I purchased a sugar free Red Bull (bread bowl to Morgan) Luckily OldLadyMoves saved me with a couple extra wrinkle free button ups in her trunk. And I was back in business. Worked a double and proceeded to be a mere shell of a human.

In the middle of my double I got off. Started to go home to sleep until my next shift. Until Cutie McOldPants.(Which incidentally is what I could call half of the men I attract and or date... shrug...) texted me and told me he was watching the game at the local hole.
I met him up there and (shh, don't tell my boss) had an RBV (short for Red Bull Vodka, and I promise to never use that abbrev again.)


I watched my Ravens take it to the freaking house. Anyone see Ed Reed run back the longest interception in NFL history. He surpassed the previous record. Oh wait he held that one too.God I love my team. Anyway, I was so jazzed from our (yes I have now started saying we, as in, me and the rest of my team. I just don't suit up and get on that field, but I am totally one of them! ) victory that I went home only to change my shirt and headed back to work.

Worked the evening shift and went home. I don't recall these events because by now I was out of my funk. Or maybe just so exhausted I couldn't think about being exhausted any more. All I wanted was sleep. So despite getting heckled by everyone who suddenly thought Sunday nights were the "it" night to go out. I went home to sleep.

At least thats what my brain said. My heart decided to try to fight the Red Bull in my system. I was fast away in dreamland when I lost my breath. I literally woke up gasping for air. I quickly fell back asleep only to writhe in agony for hours upon hours because I could not get my heart to pick a rhythm.

Mind you, I have been diagnosed with a heart murmur. When I was like 6. My parents were in the middle of a custody battle and I was a desperate middle child vying for attention. That's what everyone chalked this diagnosis up to be.

Years later I still suffer from bouts of tachycardia or bradycardia. It takes me just a few moments to gather myself and I am fine.

Not this night. My heart was have a full out battle. Maybe it was playing DDR and I didn't know it. Either way.

I am swearing off Red Bulls from this point on.

So now, Red Bull doesn't give you wings. It gives you freaking arrhythmia.

Yes I know that was an extremely long story just to tell you that I am never drinking an energy drink again but to put into words those god forsaken hours that were my weekend seems much harder after knowing I survived it. I was convinced the entire time that my life was ending.
And yes being a hypochondriac with no health insurance is a tough life to live!


...stay tuned.

"Some days I'm your super bitch"

Today is Monday. It took me a good 20 minutes while waking up this morning to figure that out. I also didn't know that it was daylight savings yesterday. Don't judge

So even though it doesn't feel like the weekend is over to me let me try to capture in a few short (I'm already lying to you, it won't be short) words what my roller coaster of a weekend entailed.

Day one: also known as Friday. Disguised as Halloween. I bought a new digital camera finally. And because of my rash behavior I purchased one I wasn't super crazy about because the one I wanted was only offered in a putrid green yellow color.

Seriously Best Buy?
You offer the normal colored ones online, but the one in the store had to be shiny puke color?
Thanks.

Then it's time to get dressed and at the last minute I changed my outfit. I think this was where I went right. So genuisly right. (pictures to come) I may need to remind you that I was the Orbit Lady. I show up to job #2 in costume as they were having a costume party.30 minutes in, I pretty much have the entire restaurant coming up to me and saying terrible curse words in order to get me to say

"dirty mouth?"
"Clean it up!"
"For a good clean feeling, no matter what"
and lastly
"Fabulous!"

All said in a perfectly inflected accent. I was a hit. They loved me.

And this is where I went so wrong. I should have stayed. Instead I went to my brothers place where they too were having a party. They moved the party to a nearby bar in which I have complete and utter disdain for now because I didn't win the costume contest. It's not that I didn't win that got me, because there was one guy dressed as a soccer trophy. He could have totally beaten me and I would have been fine. He was all gold. (ALL of him) with a soccer ball stuck to his foot and when he struck a pose it was genius (have I over used that word yet?)

But we both lost to

..freaking...

SARAH PALIN!

Really people?

You are that easy?

Look at the ingenuity and the time and effort it took for our costumes. Hers? It took a whole five seconds to throw on a skirt and a blazer and put some glasses on and put her hair half up. I may or may not be a little bitter. Because guess how many Sarah Palin costumes there were this year. Well scientifically I don't know but I am estimating at least 3 billion people went as her. Men and women. Too easy. Yup I'm bitter.

After that we went back to my brothers place and all hell started to break loose. My emotions ran the gamut while I was there. It ended with me leaving at 3 am to drive home all teary eyed. The details will be spared, but let's just say at 25 years old if you become a different person when you drink. You need to stop drinking.

So, no prize money and no happy ending (not that kind you sicko.)
Halloween was a bust.

Day two: Also known as Saturday.
I was in a weird mood, because of the events that transpired just a few hours earlier I couldn't seem to shake the somber feeling that came over me. I drove to work and almost burst into tears (almost is the key word.)My mind was racing and no smile was to be found. It didn't help that in the midst of the drama the night before I also had one of my buddies ( guy I've talked to for years, jokingly and seriously for YEARS) tell me that he was for real in love. With me.

Um what? My first answer is always.. Don't do that. I can figure myself out (no I can't who am I kidding) when I fall in love and all that nonsense but I sure as hell cannot pick up the pieces if someone else falls in love. With me. That just throws me for one hell of a loop. I know not what to do or say. I just feel bad for the person. I think I am the last person you would want to fall in love with.


...and scene!

Let me reel myself back in before we get all smooshy ooey gooey. So as my mind was racing, in walks my good friends Beauty and the Beast. They are my super pair at work. I like them a lot. They keep me sane and laughing. They walk in, plain clothed and I am instantly jealous that I am not them. I continue working while they wait for me. Oh I didn't tell you? Saturday was the last night for the Haunted Forest. These suckers were going and they were waiting until I got off so I could go with them.

I freaking love these people. Crisis over. Smiles were instantly found and I busted my ass to get out of work.

Off we go. And a scare or two was had while in the forest. My night(weekend) was instantly better. Then we went to Sheetz and got late night food. It couldn't have been any better than that. We all drove away with a full belly and a happy ending. (again, not that kind!!)

Day three. Also known as Sunday. Wrapped in football and a Brunch shift.
I don't mind Sundays because working brunch is kind of easy.

What would have been nice is if someone told me that it was Daylight Savings and that I was supposed to turn my clocks back. Yeah. A memo or something would have been nice. Cuz guess who showed up an hour early to work that day? Yup, this girl.

Once I got off work, I had brunch. It was glorious as I tell all of our patrons even though I haven't had it before yesterday. (they don't know that) Now it was time to watch football and veg out all day. The problem is , with my team I have a slight phobia slash obsession. I believed that if I watched my Ravens on the TV that we would lose. If I listened to them on the radio. We won. So I made a quick stop to my brothers work to say hi and see a few minutes of the game. I had been listening on the radio so far and we were winning so I couldn't do any damage whilst in the bar for just a few minutes.

Wrong.

The Browns came back to tie it up. We again went up and then they tied it up again. I got my stuff and was ready to walk out the door. The Browns fan next to me was not okay with this. He convinced me to stay. Against every fiber of my being I stayed. (He was super cute and fun to talk to so not EVERY fiber I guess)

After painstakingly going down 14 points my team rallied. Just as I screamed at the TV that they would.( I am totally in control while watching my team!)

Oh did I mention the cute guy to my left was 39, totally hitting on me and recently divorced with kids. I didn't? Well I don't think I should have to anymore. I think you (my readers) should assume this by now.

And after a couple hours of sitting there,and him worrying that my brother was going to chop his balls off for doing so (my brother works there and has known this guy for years) It was time to go. Or he said so. We had already exchanged numbers and he had already told me every dirty little secret about himself. ( shots will do that, even to a big man like him.) Including the "kinda over" girl he was dating that showed up. Yeah that was fun. Luckily my loud mouth had made friends elsewhere in the bar by then.

Night ended and I may or may not have had a dream about him. Did I also mention he is a stock broker who drives a 125,000 dollar car? Man I'm sorry for leaving these important details out. Just kidding,that is SO not an important detail. But the super cute thing is, he bet my brother that if the Ravens won (and we knew they would!) that he could drive his 4 billion dollar car on a date. Cute 39 year old wasn't looking for anything in return should the Ravens lose (and we knew they wouldn't) So little bro has to find a hot girl to match the sweet ass car he gets to take on a date and I broke the curse of not being able to watch my team on television and now we have a date to meet up every Sunday and demoralize each other depending on whom we are rooting for.

And now we are on
Day Four: also known as Monday or Karaoke night.
And this is why the title of my post is that. I have to learn all the words to the Christina Aguilera song. We've chosen to make that our song tonight.I cannot wait!


more to come I promise because as I said before. My weekend isn't over.


..stay tuned.

A Weekend Away

While my weekend was spent in the same cozy little town I always reside in, I felt like I was away.( My brain took a vacation that's for sure) My best friend was in town though(oh thank goodness!) and I had to work every minute that wasn't being spent with her.

It turned out to be a weird weekend. Clearly why I am sitting here on this Tuesday still thinking about the events that took place in the last 72+ hours.

Friday she rolled into town and I met her at a restaurant where the host politely told me that my friends were waiting for me and pointed me in a direction. I asked him how he knew and he laughed and nodded again in that direction. So I started walking.

He was wrong.

Assumed I was with the other 20 something girls at a round table. When in actuality my friends were my best friend and her parents. I love that he laughed at me though, like an I'm that good so don't ask me how I know kind of laugh.
Idiot.

Side note:They did have fabulous Margaritas though. And that is really how I judge a restaurant. I am a Margarita snob. Love Sweet Water for their food but their margaritas are shit. Ted's Montana Grille, apparently has a much better recipe. I however, have the best recipe of all. If you are lucky one of these days I will share it with you.
It is to die for. And I can only thank Denise for bringing it into my life.
But shhhh.. I like to take credit for passing this recipe around!

Back to the story...

we went out to apparently my favorite place V5( I say apparently because I am there every damn day but I really think of it no better than any other local joint, my brother just happens to work there and I go there a lot. Okay?!)
She and I have a drink there and then head to meet some friends at the Sports Theatre. Which is exactly why it was a snoozer. You shouldn't go there if there aren't any big games to watch. I almost fell asleep in her tall ass glass of beer. We drove home and Friday night came to a sleepy close.I wasn't sure I was going to get to spend any more time with her.

She was going to a wine festival (how classy) and I was going to work (how boring) on Saturday. And though she was to make it home by 7 that night there was no reason to believe that she would make it anywhere else but home after that. (There are stories of other wine festivals to back up this notion)

So when she sat in my section at the restaurant later that evening it was a nice surprise. The entire evening had been anything but pleasurable before her arrival.

Blame it on homecoming. Stupid high schoolers. (only kidding I love all God's children... haha kidding again)(Seriously though, who forgets to put a tip down? Seven of you just ate for 95 dollars, where is the rest of daddy and mommy's money?! I didn't do this just to make sure your night was special...but I'm sure it was anyway, the way girls are dressing these days! When did I become old and conservative? Sheesh!)

Anyway, after work I met her at her place and watched SNL.

Okay so let's recap. Boring Friday. Boring Saturday. And now on to Sunday.

Oh and I work, now that's a surprise! (again, I know I have no room to complain I have taken on two jobs and should expect to work every day all day right?! Great.)

Luckily brunch was slow and I got off just in time to don my jersey and head up to the sports bar and watch my game. It ended, and sadly.The 3 and half quarters we had lead the game disappeared in the last minutes.
I was less than thrilled.

To make matters worse the hometown team had taken the lead and we all know that every win brings them closer to the likely hood of a Super Bowl ring right? Yeah, well try telling the fans that isn't exactly the case.


So I had to hustle out of that place before I blew a head gasket (see: previous post about being a good sport.. hint: I'm not.)
I went home and watched more football and fell asleep.

My best friend left town.

End of weekend.


Except I never have specific weekends so I am going to include yesterdays shenanigans in my weekend recap.

Work at the restaurant as usual, mess up, get lousy tips and head out before anyone notices. Meet the girls at Vintage 50 and start the birthday celebrations!

Met the rest of the crew at another place and really started the birthday celebration for a few people.

Then I watched the birthday girl slip into the worlds quickest drunk-fest mode.

And I was keeping an eye on a certain goal of mine. (Yes, I refer to men as goals)
He definitely kept me guessing because he starts hooking up with a co-worker. What?@! He's taken? Oh well, guess he is off the "I must conquer" list.
Or is he?
Did he just grab my scarf and pull me in close?
Did I catch him eyeing me through out the night?

Yes and yes. So is he off the list or what? I can't decide.

But now I am getting texts about Birthday girls lunacy that didn't end with her calling everyone bitches and flicking everyone off. She quit today.

After the penis pops(or cocksicles, whichever you prefer), the tiara, the birthday sash, the drinks, the shots and the karaoke we sang to her she ended up getting belligerent and using those hands for evil and not good. Bad birthday girl, bad. So back to Pennsyltucky she goes.

See, and this why I don't define the weekend by certain days. Craziness can happen at any moment. And there, in a simple Monday was hiding the excitement I had been looking for all weekend.

Bitter isn't Pretty

How oh how can I learn to be a good sport?
My team lost last night.

And it's freaking killing me. I thought about how I have a severe inability to ever do anything on a grand stage because I HATE losing. Seriously. Hate it.

But maybe because I know I had no part in it. Just a couch potato (not really I was busting my ass at work serving people while they cheered for the damn Steelers.) rooting for my team.

Clearly you can see I am a little bitter. And it isn't something that looks good on a happy little girl like me. I play the loud, over-animated, curse like a sailor catch people off guard cuz I am really a sweet faced little girl role really well. I don't think I can take on the role of the crazy girl who gets salty every time a sports team loses. I make fun of those people. But how can I love my teams ( Go O's ) and have passion for them without being upset the next day that they lost to the slimy, baby Ben led Steelers?

I can't! But I have to. ( <----Bi polar moment right there!)
I have to learn to move on. Right? My brothers are huge fans too. They don't seem bothered by it. A win is a win and a loss is a loss. ( baaaaaloooney! , or would it be balloooggnna!?)

I have been told that my knowledge of football and desire to do nothing else but watch it on Saturdays (college), Sundays and Mondays (and sometimes Thursdays) is sexy. Seriously, I am a cute girl so I think that it isn't typical to have a girl who will watch football all day with a guy and know what is going on and at least some members of every team playing. So where does sexy end and spazz begin?

I guess on a Tuesday morning when your team has lost and it affected you so much your Facebook status has been altered around the angry sentiment.

Fine call me a spazz, an over zealot fan,I will take it. As long as my Ravens get to 8 wins this season. (Recall the bet with former Redskin Brian Mitchell)


...stay tuned.

Monday Morning Madness

Have you opened a newspaper today? And I am speaking to my Washington area readers.

Holy Cow it's like the second coming of Christ. Which to most Redskins fans, a win over the Cowboys in their own house, pretty much is. Short of a Superbowl win (which these suckers have been clamoring for since the last one...83975346 years ago.)

I love it and I hate it. I am by no means a Redskins fan. I hail from good ol' Balmer hon. (translated that's Baltimore, Maryland)
I am a die hard Ravens fan. But to not congratulate this team and its fans (because obviously they have something to do with that win.) would be downright ignorant. I can move past the blurry lines of fan-dom and reach out my hand to a Redskins fan and say... "good win" (Besides my best friend is a die hard skins fan, and I love her so I have to love her interests too, even though she was born in Texas)

Part of me is celebrating the win because my ex-boyfriend is a HUGE Cowboys fan. SO rubbing it in is fun. Luckily we are still friendly( in the I don't want to give a shit about you anymore so I am going to be cordial until I no longer need an ounce of what you think to validate me, then I will be completely done with you, and thusly, no longer friendly sort of way) And since that is the case I hope he can take a joke. I posted some schtick on his MySpace or Facebook wall about him and every other Cowboys fan not killing themselves. Just yet at least.

Besides the cowboys/skins game I am more excited about what tonight may bring. Another W for my Ravens. MNF vs. the Steelers. We got this one. I am "Wacco for Flacco" (I didn't come up with it!)

The downside of Mondays.. I have to work tonight. Most Mondays it is sllloooowww. So I can only hope that I can get out of there before the game starts. Speaking of work. Shouldn't it be sacrilegious to work on Sundays? I mean I took the Sunday morning shift thinking I would be able to get out of there by the time most football was on and not over. Wrong. I got my butt kicked on the patio last night. I enjoyed it after I calmed down a bit. But who knew my busiest shift would be a Sunday morning. Doesn't hold much hope for the rest of the season when my team will be playing at 1pm or 4pm.
Dangsies.


The good thing about football?(and what holds most fans together).. is that there is always next season. I am still counting on my Baltimore boys to do some damage this season, I just have to realize I won't be able to see all of their games. Or the other 31 teams that play. I guess I have to get over that when I took two jobs.

...stay tuned.