Monday, November 3, 2008

"Some days I'm your super bitch"

Today is Monday. It took me a good 20 minutes while waking up this morning to figure that out. I also didn't know that it was daylight savings yesterday. Don't judge

So even though it doesn't feel like the weekend is over to me let me try to capture in a few short (I'm already lying to you, it won't be short) words what my roller coaster of a weekend entailed.

Day one: also known as Friday. Disguised as Halloween. I bought a new digital camera finally. And because of my rash behavior I purchased one I wasn't super crazy about because the one I wanted was only offered in a putrid green yellow color.

Seriously Best Buy?
You offer the normal colored ones online, but the one in the store had to be shiny puke color?

Then it's time to get dressed and at the last minute I changed my outfit. I think this was where I went right. So genuisly right. (pictures to come) I may need to remind you that I was the Orbit Lady. I show up to job #2 in costume as they were having a costume party.30 minutes in, I pretty much have the entire restaurant coming up to me and saying terrible curse words in order to get me to say

"dirty mouth?"
"Clean it up!"
"For a good clean feeling, no matter what"
and lastly

All said in a perfectly inflected accent. I was a hit. They loved me.

And this is where I went so wrong. I should have stayed. Instead I went to my brothers place where they too were having a party. They moved the party to a nearby bar in which I have complete and utter disdain for now because I didn't win the costume contest. It's not that I didn't win that got me, because there was one guy dressed as a soccer trophy. He could have totally beaten me and I would have been fine. He was all gold. (ALL of him) with a soccer ball stuck to his foot and when he struck a pose it was genius (have I over used that word yet?)

But we both lost to



Really people?

You are that easy?

Look at the ingenuity and the time and effort it took for our costumes. Hers? It took a whole five seconds to throw on a skirt and a blazer and put some glasses on and put her hair half up. I may or may not be a little bitter. Because guess how many Sarah Palin costumes there were this year. Well scientifically I don't know but I am estimating at least 3 billion people went as her. Men and women. Too easy. Yup I'm bitter.

After that we went back to my brothers place and all hell started to break loose. My emotions ran the gamut while I was there. It ended with me leaving at 3 am to drive home all teary eyed. The details will be spared, but let's just say at 25 years old if you become a different person when you drink. You need to stop drinking.

So, no prize money and no happy ending (not that kind you sicko.)
Halloween was a bust.

Day two: Also known as Saturday.
I was in a weird mood, because of the events that transpired just a few hours earlier I couldn't seem to shake the somber feeling that came over me. I drove to work and almost burst into tears (almost is the key word.)My mind was racing and no smile was to be found. It didn't help that in the midst of the drama the night before I also had one of my buddies ( guy I've talked to for years, jokingly and seriously for YEARS) tell me that he was for real in love. With me.

Um what? My first answer is always.. Don't do that. I can figure myself out (no I can't who am I kidding) when I fall in love and all that nonsense but I sure as hell cannot pick up the pieces if someone else falls in love. With me. That just throws me for one hell of a loop. I know not what to do or say. I just feel bad for the person. I think I am the last person you would want to fall in love with.

...and scene!

Let me reel myself back in before we get all smooshy ooey gooey. So as my mind was racing, in walks my good friends Beauty and the Beast. They are my super pair at work. I like them a lot. They keep me sane and laughing. They walk in, plain clothed and I am instantly jealous that I am not them. I continue working while they wait for me. Oh I didn't tell you? Saturday was the last night for the Haunted Forest. These suckers were going and they were waiting until I got off so I could go with them.

I freaking love these people. Crisis over. Smiles were instantly found and I busted my ass to get out of work.

Off we go. And a scare or two was had while in the forest. My night(weekend) was instantly better. Then we went to Sheetz and got late night food. It couldn't have been any better than that. We all drove away with a full belly and a happy ending. (again, not that kind!!)

Day three. Also known as Sunday. Wrapped in football and a Brunch shift.
I don't mind Sundays because working brunch is kind of easy.

What would have been nice is if someone told me that it was Daylight Savings and that I was supposed to turn my clocks back. Yeah. A memo or something would have been nice. Cuz guess who showed up an hour early to work that day? Yup, this girl.

Once I got off work, I had brunch. It was glorious as I tell all of our patrons even though I haven't had it before yesterday. (they don't know that) Now it was time to watch football and veg out all day. The problem is , with my team I have a slight phobia slash obsession. I believed that if I watched my Ravens on the TV that we would lose. If I listened to them on the radio. We won. So I made a quick stop to my brothers work to say hi and see a few minutes of the game. I had been listening on the radio so far and we were winning so I couldn't do any damage whilst in the bar for just a few minutes.


The Browns came back to tie it up. We again went up and then they tied it up again. I got my stuff and was ready to walk out the door. The Browns fan next to me was not okay with this. He convinced me to stay. Against every fiber of my being I stayed. (He was super cute and fun to talk to so not EVERY fiber I guess)

After painstakingly going down 14 points my team rallied. Just as I screamed at the TV that they would.( I am totally in control while watching my team!)

Oh did I mention the cute guy to my left was 39, totally hitting on me and recently divorced with kids. I didn't? Well I don't think I should have to anymore. I think you (my readers) should assume this by now.

And after a couple hours of sitting there,and him worrying that my brother was going to chop his balls off for doing so (my brother works there and has known this guy for years) It was time to go. Or he said so. We had already exchanged numbers and he had already told me every dirty little secret about himself. ( shots will do that, even to a big man like him.) Including the "kinda over" girl he was dating that showed up. Yeah that was fun. Luckily my loud mouth had made friends elsewhere in the bar by then.

Night ended and I may or may not have had a dream about him. Did I also mention he is a stock broker who drives a 125,000 dollar car? Man I'm sorry for leaving these important details out. Just kidding,that is SO not an important detail. But the super cute thing is, he bet my brother that if the Ravens won (and we knew they would!) that he could drive his 4 billion dollar car on a date. Cute 39 year old wasn't looking for anything in return should the Ravens lose (and we knew they wouldn't) So little bro has to find a hot girl to match the sweet ass car he gets to take on a date and I broke the curse of not being able to watch my team on television and now we have a date to meet up every Sunday and demoralize each other depending on whom we are rooting for.

And now we are on
Day Four: also known as Monday or Karaoke night.
And this is why the title of my post is that. I have to learn all the words to the Christina Aguilera song. We've chosen to make that our song tonight.I cannot wait!

more to come I promise because as I said before. My weekend isn't over.

..stay tuned.

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