Friday, September 26, 2008

Fix-It Girl.

You're 12. And you have a super fabulous imagination. (Go with it.)

What would your super hero power be?

Now flash back to real life.

You're in 2008. You've got some not so super powers. What are they? What are you really? If you were a real life hero. Good, bad or ugly(I guess they aren't all heroes then but again, go with it.)

I would be... Fix-It Girl.

An unschooled, untrained slightly napoleon complexed little girl who ran around trying to patch things up. Prevention. Not my forte.

But once it's broken? Oh boy, oh boy. Let me at it. I will tell you everything thats wrong. And attempt.(usually failing miserably) to put the pieces back together.

The problem is.... I really am a bit like this. In real life you cant just put back the pieces. Humpty Dumpty doesn't get back up again. And I am NOT all the kings horses and all the kings men.

In relationships... this is where I falter most. I find the damaged, the weak (be careful, they parade around as the hot strong ones with big muscles) and as Tia said.. the "wounded-bird-boy-soul". Not all so apparent at first.

The last one...
He wasn't this sad sap looking to be saved. (To be fair, none of them are really, that's why it never works... (duh! that should be my moment of clarity right there!)) But he was a brooding, self sufficient, too proud, stubborn, southern gentleman. What I thrived on most was our differences. ( let me be clear, it's what I and I alone thrived on.)

I woke up every morning loving the fact that we could watch the same news or same whatever and have different views about it all. We were sensitive to each other's feelings. (At first) We debated about the world, about our own lives, about how our paths could have really crossed.

Pause. To amend that last statement. They never really crossed. We merely had paths that were close by each other that went along the same route for about...30 seconds... and we hopped back and forth on each other's path until it was time to part ways and go back to our own lives. It was in the cards, we were never meant to spend much time together. I know this and somehow I have a soft spot for him still. I think it's respect. He was an unwaivering soul who had a passion burning inside him and that was sexy as hell. But guess what, his passion wasn't for me. And I have been told that from a summer fling (but what the hell does he know?!) that what I really wanted was to see was a fire for me. Oh now, that's shocking. I've been read fairy tales all my life, forgive me for wanting a freaking prince charming!

Un-pause. Back to me wanting to save the world. Sadly. It just seems I enter into impossible situations on purpose. The crazier the better.
Because I am the calm drama-free one. I can bring a sense of sanity into these guys lives. Right?

Ehhhhhhhhhhhh (hear a loud obnoxious buzzer)

Let me give you examples. (Mostly so you can laugh at how ridiculous I am.)

*Over 30. Has to be. It seems to be a rule. They don't all look it but they all are.

**Crazy love life drama... for example, in the middle of a separation, or has 3 kids, or is caught up on the ex.

***Got Baggage...i.e. kids, crazy ex, life in ruin,work drama, mommy issues etc.

****The quiet more reserved type, that seem to be attracted to the younger crazy loud girl who loves life. (Me)
Still don't understand that one yet. I get why I am attracted to them. But why the hell are they falling for me? (Because they want to be saved right? Oh will I ever learn?)

So in the end, it seems as though I have diagnosed my problem. I am fix-it girl. I can;t however, even fix my own fix-it obsession. For now I will stay single. Until an unsuspecting little girls gets lured into a relationship that is broken beyond repair...before she's even met him.


...stay tuned.

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