Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Gym and Pam

As of Dec. One I am back in the gym. Oh thank god.

I was starting to rationalize never going back. The whole, well I only gained a couple-a pounds argument. When in reality it was much more because I lost a crap load of muscle.
I feel good just as I am , I would tell myself. (which I do but I know I will feel better when my arm muscles tell people not to eff with the 5 foot tall girl cuz she can do more push ups than you. And my abs scream, PUNCH ME! And my legs look like I could roundhouse kick Chuck Norris in the face, and hurt him) ( and yes, I have very specific goals in mind while in the gym) When in reality, I lost a crap load of muscle, I ran a 5k in 28 minutes and that's way too slow for me.

And then I realized this entire time I have been shelling out my hard earned cash to these suckers and I am only getting, fatter, lazier and poorer.


And believe you me, it's much too hard to try to get out of those contracts. So I dared not do that while I took that whole 4 months off!

So what I really want to point out is that I had forgotten how ridiculous the gym is everyday. I went at 3pm, on purpose, as to not be judged by so many faces.

I usually run my ass for 10 MAYBE 20 minutes and then I am off the treadmill. Or I swim a couple laps until my ass gets tired. Then out of the pool. Or I cycle 10-15 miles and I'm off the bike. Now I will be at the gym for a good 2 hours usually just not spent the entire time, I'm not part of the Vaginafest when you look at the cardio section. I like to life weights.

But that's not even what bothers me most. Because as much as I complain about this country being fat and how obese kids make my soul cringe. I know the people INSIDE the gym have taken a step in the right direction.(Me included, Yay me!)

But DUDE on the Eliptical. You are on a chick machine. You have to know that. Really though? You cant run the weight off? What about hitting a bike for a couple-a miles. Cuz gliding ever so gently on that machine while you push the handles back and forth slightly makes you seem like less of a man. I have got to be honest.

There are many issues I have with a gym, one being "those girls" who apparently can't lose calories unless they are in a matching outfit with their hair did.

There's the meat heads who usually work at most gyms, but some of them go there without being on the payroll. Nah fuck it, you guys can stay, you are all freaking hilarious. You will end up alone and sad despite your muscles on top of muscles. But you make my time at the gym go by quicker. Laughing burns calories right?

And despite all the cliche issues people have with the gym, I am so glad to be back in there.

And now, I must actually go because if I wait any longer, I will somehow come up with an excuse as to why I cannot go to the gym today. Like, if it's after 4 so I will inevitably run into the 987235 other kids from my high school that go there and I cannot bear one of those awkward conversations again(while they are on the eliptical....I think I just hate that machine)!

...stay tuned.

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