"so wanna hear about my newest love interest?" I ask my younger brother (who doubles as my best friend, when he isn't farting or snoring of course,then he is my greatest enemy)
"what is he like 85?" (valid question I suppose)
"Nope, but close" I answer
"Okay what like 40?" He asks again.
Without a word he looks at my face, sees the grin and flips his lid.
"what?!? are you serious?! I'm not talking to you anymore" And instantly he is gone.
My brother tells me all about his crazy life, why can't I tell him about mine? True the entire family was less than thrilled with my last boyfriend. Who just so happened to be 32. When I was 22.
I cannot help who I am attracted to! Right?!
Well after that didn't work. (my father affectionately referred to him as a pedophile within seconds of meeting him)Wonder why?
Before him there were other 30 somethings.. even before I was in my twenties.
(I am sensing a pattern here!)
Then came... a 30 something with 3 kids. Oh wait no. There was a 34 year old with 2 kids in Germany or wherever he was stationed.Then there was 3 kid guy. Who was super effing cute. And even let me drag him on the dance floor where his old guy moves did nothing for him except win points in my head for letting me drag him there in the first place. Found out he was closer to 40's and I am really not trying to be a step mom.
But somehow I am caught up with the 40 year old who may or may not have 6 kids. WHAT?!?
Did I cross the line of acceptable?
Who knows. ( seriously do you know, does anyone know? Is there a pill I can take?)
But I continue on my quest to figure out why I am not attracting twenty somethings. There is one that I work with...but damnit if he doesn't already date another girl I work with. Bitch. (I meeaaannnn)
Then there is the twenty something with his feet solidly on the ground (and stepping in piles of money)and just dorky enough to make you love him and just smart enough to make you hate him. Shocker we seem to have exact opposite schedules.
What is it with my life? Love is blind, uh huh. My heart knows no bounds, I get it. Blah Blah Blah.
I am tired of questioning myself. Will somebody just sweep me off my feet already?
And please for God's sake lie to me and tell me you are 29, for a while at least. Then you can drop the bombshell about the immense baggage you have.
I'm tired. I quit.