There is a Good Charlotte song titled "motivate me" and it used to ring true for me back when I was an angst ridden teenager. Or an early twenty something that still looks like she is fourteen. (Oh wait , that's me now.)
But I would now re-title the song "Organize me" because that's really what I need in my life. Pathetically there are things in my life that just never get done.
I can't believe I am going to admit this but I took my bike with me for my triathlon way back at the end of May. I had to take it apart to get it into my car since I don't have a bike rack (like all the cool kids...come to think of it I don't have a road bike like all the cool kids either. Damn cool kids and their stuff)
Put it back together for the race. Obviously.
Took it apart shortly after for the ride home.
It is now sitting in Jen's garage with no front tire. The piece to connect the front tire is in my car somewhere.
Don't go looking for it!
You might die in there!
Seriously I will have to find a long branch from a vine-y tree ( think Wesley in the Princess Bride when Buttercup falls into the quicksand.) so that when you start to suffocate under everything I can pull you from your ultimate death.
Here is a quick list of things I know are in there.. and mind you I am inside the house about 30 yards from my car at this moment of recall.
*A guitar.(i take lessons, or did, not since I started working two jobs, and yes the guitar is still in my car.. it provided me with endless amounts of fun last Monday when I drove my brother and his drunkie friend home. Boy can't sing Karaoke but give him a guitar to strum and he busts out like a better Scott Stapp and with sicker rhymes!)
*Multiple cups and bottles of water.
*Oh! A whole new case of bottled water (and I will use the chilling weather as an excuse to why I never take it out of my back seat!)
*A grass skirt.
*A Map of Virginia ( I never get lost so it's of no use to me.)
*ESPN Magazine with MP on the cover. (He's my boy and next time I'm back in Bmore he is totally signing it!)
*An accordion file folder (have NO idea what's inside)
*A spoon ( My car was semi- recently broken into and nothing was stolen. Or nothing that I could tell. The cop was utterly disgusted by my sloppy tendencies and he picked up a spoon and asked me if I had any immediate use for it... Jerk... The answer was no but those little "what ifs" always pop up!!)
*Probably a car insurance bill or twelve. ( I can't be bothered to put things in the mail so I end up paying over the phone every time.)
...I won't go on, you get the point. I am in desperate need for a person or team to come organize my life. I have found that no matter how pretty the organizer I will toss it aside eventually. I may be more inclined to use a pretty file folder over a plain black one (the one in my car is black!) and I may be more inclined to hang up all my clothes if the hangers were pretty. But I've got about 30 to 40 empty plain white boring hangers and piles and piles of clothes from my bed to my dresser that are waiting to be hung up.
Now I had the genius idea that there should be one person to be your shoe consultant. Like they study your foot and they go to a shoe store with you and explain why flats may be in but you aren't allowed to wear them. Since you have flat caveman feet. And you are only 5 foot tall so you need every inch you can get...or something like that.
Anyway why can't I have an organizational consultant. That doesn't cost a million dollars of course. And they are with me to tell me that no matter how pretty that Vera Bradley Day Planner is, my lazy ass will NOT write in it.
and then they flip out their organizer and tell me I have a 2 o'clock and they run to get me my Starbucks and we are on our merry way.
WHat?!? They have those? It's called a personal assistant? And you have to be rich or famous or important even in the slightest to have one?
Dangsies. Well I do have the day off, I suppose I could get out of my sweatpants and go clean out my car. And my room. And take things to storage. And do more laundry. And... make pumpkin cookies and go running? Holy crap this is starting to overwhelm me.
I think I will just make the cookies.
Everyone loves Betty Crocker and no one knows whether she was organized or not!